Vent--My Ingrate vent and my MOH (sorry a bit long)

Ok, so I have a WONDERFUL matron of honor who has been going above and beyond during wedding planning. I also have a maid of honor, obviously also a very very close friend. HOWEVER, she didn't make it to the bridal shower (she's out of state) and NEVER EVEN SENT A CARD!!!!!!!!!! (let alone a gift.) Ok, whatever. Never said anything.
So, I received my wedding gift from her yesterday. It's a wine decanter that I didn't register for. Being a total *ss, I actually looked in the catalogue that came with the decanter. It cost $40! So, now I feel like a total *ss that I'm even posting this, but COME ON! I don't want or expect anything extravagant, but what the h*ll!?!? I have always been from the school of 'a gift is something extra, anything is wonderful' and I really mean it. I'm not even angry or something, I'm actually really hurt! This is something I would bring to her for a housewarming gift or something, not her wedding!!! And, in case you're wondering, she is not scraping by financially. If the tables were turned, even if I couldn't make it to her shower, I would send a beautiful card and I'm sure I'd send a gift. And being as close as we are, I would definitely be sending a thoughtful gift. I understand that in the grand scheme of things, this is really minor, but IT BOTHERS ME AND HURTS MY FEELINGS!!!

Ok, sorry so long. I really needed to vent. Thanks ladies....

sometimes out of state people don't know what it costs to plan a wedding on LI.
One of my BM's is from out of state... well up state.. but really whats the diff?

anyway - she married an absurly cheap guy and crapped out on my rehearsal itself. I don't expect a big gift from her anymore. People do strange things. With 10 days to go (yay!!!)
don't let it get to you

I agree, NYC and LI weddings are so different from anywhere else. My friends from overseas are amazed with all the gifts we receive here. There is no such thing as a bridal shower where I come from! I am expecting a lot of decantar-type gifts. I'm sure she feels it is very appropriate

i agree with the others... if shes out of state, she probably didn't even realize how 'cheap' her gift was by NY standards. most of DHs family is from western PA, and pretty much every couple/family from there gave us a $50 check... not that i'm knocking that by any means, but its definitely A LOT less than the people from this area gave.

Don't stress about it. My SIL/BM sent a $50 gift for my shower but sent it to DH with a card that said 'Dear Keith hope you enjoy this and that you learn to cook some decent food' She flew in from OOT and never gave us a gift or card (99cents at Hallmark!!) ....people do STRANGE things!

Put your energy into the millions of things you probly have left to do and the time will fly - without having to worry about her