We have told some close friends when the wedding is because they don't live in NYC or LI but they don't exactly live across the country either (they could all drive here in under 5 hours or take a 1 hour plane ride, or even come in by train). We have gotten several responses like this 'We will try our best to be there!'
My vent -- you are going 'try your best' when I am giving you 9 months heads up and you have off from work that day anyway? I mean, what else are you doing that you know about 9 months in advance? Think you might need to work even though it is a national holiday? You have nine months to find a replacement! Not sure because you think it might be costly? Well, you parents still live in the area, and we know you visit the area all of the time! I mean, are you waiting for something better to come along? do you plan on washing your hair that night?
the correct response is to tell me that you are putting the date in your calendar! Obviously if you turn out to be really pregant and can't travel, or if you have a serious family conflict, I understand. But you don't know about that yet!
Thanks for reading....
Jsquared279
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Re: Vent - response to save the dates!
Haha you are too funny and I totally agree! I am confused as to why people even respond to STDs. I mean it says right on there FORMAL INVITATION TO FOLLOW. So if you don't know if you can make it just wait till the formal invitation comes in the mail and send back the Response card accordingly. GEEZ SOME PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!
Autumnbride03
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Re: Vent - response to save the dates!
lol, try not to think about it too much. People are dumb sometimes and don't realize how they sound when they say things. They are probably really excited but maybe just didn't want to cement a commitment because of something that may come up... who knows. I doubt they meant how they sounded though. I've gotten dumb comments from people too but brush it off... not worth getting upset over!
lanamanitta
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Re: Vent - response to save the dates!
Many people have never received a Save the Date before and have no idea what the protocol is, so I agree, just ignore it. You've done more than necessary by giving so much notice . . . . they'll get their invite and then respond. BUT if someone makes it clear they cannot come, then let them know that you appreciate the heads up and will remove them from the official invite list. In that way, early responses can be helpful.
evewedsjc
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Re: Vent - response to save the dates!
People are strange and slightly tacky...don't worry...you want the people who really want to be there to show up!! I sent save the dates bc of the holiday and got all sorts of strange comments...even RSVP's for ENTIRE families...
don't worry it will work out!!!
Autumnbride03
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Re: Vent - response to save the dates!
good point- save the dates are pretty new and I think an LI thing.... FH's family thinks we are nuts for sending them out....
beram63
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Re: Vent - response to save the dates!
i seem to come in contact with a lot of people who are non-committal like that. they basically plan to do it, but they say 'we'll try' to give themselves an out if something happens. it's annoying and a little slimy, i know. don't let it get to you.
well...we'll try can mean anything. People may have plans to go away on holiday weekends...or it may be a money things. The economy is awful right now and a plane ride or car ride is mucho dollars compares to a few years ago...
TheLadyJ
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Re: Vent - response to save the dates!
Well, I think Save the Dates are useful because if someone says 'I'm so sorry but I will not be able to make it', you can skip the cost of a formal invite for them, AND possible invite someone from your 'maybe ' list instead.
But I think save the Dates are really helpful because you can plan 9 months in advance and get a hotel room set up. PLus, you can plan on making an entire weekend out of the wedding well in advance.
I think anyone who says 'we will try our best to be there' really has no idea what else to say. but still, it's not a BBQ - it's a wedding.
MrsInglima
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Re: Vent - response to save the dates!
I would be really annoyed too. Or in reality I was...
FFIL said the same thing to us even after we told me a month prior that we were having our wedding on that day. When he finally came over to meet my parents he said to us 'Are you really sure that's when you're having the wedding because here's 10 reasons why I can't go to the wedding.' We had put down a deposit weeks before that (and again, TOLD him about it). So he said 'Well we'll see what happens.' And then he said nothing but negative remarks the whole night. It was like he was trying to guilt trip us in to pushing off the wedding. It made me so angry.
FutureMrsG
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Re: Vent - response to save the dates!
I feel your pain!! Almost all of my FH family is from Vermont and although I told everyone the wedding date 14 months in advance I still had complaints b/c it is on a SUNDAY! Glad to know it is not just me!
meg922
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Re: Vent - response to save the dates!
Maybe they're just worried about traveling in inclement weather in February. I'm sure they don't mean to sound less than enthusiastic about your day.
