VENT!! Sorry its Long

So FSIL and FBIL broke up. They are both in my wedding. FBIL is my FH's brother. So my shower is Aug 7 and I invited approx 60 people. FMIL and I never really cared for each other. Out of the 60 people I invited 25 are from his side. Low and behold the RSVP's are due today and his mother plus all 24 other people will not be attending my shower. That means his WHOLE family. She is such a *****!! My FH told me yesterday that his mother called and told him. She is not coming because i am still friends with FSIL. Is she kidding me. They have a child together. She will involved in their life forever... My FH told his mother he wants her out of his life because he is tired of her trashing me for 19 years... BTW FBIL doesnt speak to her either because she started a lot of trouble in his relationship and that is why FSIL left him..

Problem is we need to guarantee 40 people. I am not going to have that because i didnt invite some of my friends because i wanted to be fare and invite her whole list she gave me....

i just want to cancel the whole thing.....

Aww im so sorry that you have to go through this.
When the rsvp date came around for my shower, DH family had also decided that they would not all be attending, for various reasons, in any case, we also didnt reach our minimum, so at that point i went to my 'B' list, and sent out a text to people i wanted to invite and explained to them that i have a very big family and of course had to invite them first and that my shower planners had given me a max # but that if they were still willing to come, i would love to have them, and i got 11 yes's in 4 hours from them (kinda wished i made them my 'A' list) ... but people are more understanding than we think sometimes. but DO NOT let this ruin your day at all!

I'm really sorry about your situation. It must really be difficult to deal with someone like FMIL. It sounds as though her ill behavior extends to her children as well as their signifcant others. I'm glad to have read that your FH recognizes the way in which she treats you and has addressed it. Sadly, he can't make her change her ways, but he can speak up for you, which it appears he does. Kudos to him!

Regarding your guarantee: This isn't the most honest suggestion, however, can you have the host call the friends you omitted when the invitations were sent and have the host say that she hasn't received a response to the invitation that was sent out? That way, you can invite the people you had to cut and they wouldn't have to know that they weren't included in the original guest list.

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Posted by NYtherapist

I'm really sorry about your situation. It must really be difficult to deal with someone like FMIL. It sounds as though her ill behavior extends to her children as well as their signifcant others. I'm glad to have read that your FH recognizes the way in which she treats you and has addressed it. Sadly, he can't make her change her ways, but he can speak up for you, which it appears he does. Kudos to him!

Regarding your guarantee: This isn't the most honest suggestion, however, can you have the host call the friends you omitted when the invitations were sent and have the host say that she hasn't received a response to the invitation that was sent out? That way, you can invite the people you had to cut and they wouldn't have to know that they weren't included in the original guest list.

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I could it just upsets me that noone from his side will be there.....

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Posted by Nrauch8191

So FSIL and FBIL broke up. They are both in my wedding. FBIL is my FH's brother. So my shower is Aug 7 and I invited approx 60 people. FMIL and I never really cared for each other. Out of the 60 people I invited 25 are from his side. Low and behold the RSVP's are due today and his mother plus all 24 other people will not be attending my shower. That means his WHOLE family. She is such a *****!! My FH told me yesterday that his mother called and told him. She is not coming because i am still friends with FSIL. Is she kidding me. They have a child together. She will involved in their life forever... My FH told his mother he wants her out of his life because he is tired of her trashing me for 19 years... BTW FBIL doesnt speak to her either because she started a lot of trouble in his relationship and that is why FSIL left him..

Problem is we need to guarantee 40 people. I am not going to have that because i didnt invite some of my friends because i wanted to be fare and invite her whole list she gave me....

i just want to cancel the whole thing.....

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UGH-- that's BS. Seriously- I would tell your FH to call his mother and explain to her that this is about you and your FH. Not anyone else. And the family should be there to support your marriage and nothing else.

Sorry you are going through this unnecessary stress and drama!

i am soooo sorry that shes such a b1tch!!! you dont need his family if they cant make their own decisions to come...if his mom has that power over them then you soo better off without them there to have drama...i hope it all works out for you...fyi sounds like she just doesnt want to cut the cord with her boys if she meddles in both relationships...she needs to get over it

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Posted by rosatemp

i am soooo sorry that shes such a b1tch!!! you dont need his family if they cant make their own decisions to come...if his mom has that power over them then you soo better off without them there to have drama...i hope it all works out for you...fyi sounds like she just doesnt want to cut the cord with her boys if she meddles in both relationships...she needs to get over it

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She doesn't. She is a very obsessive mother.. she once said to me a few months ago she wishes her boys were still at home. HELLO!! They are 35, 38 and 40... Is she kidding me?????