Vent... That wasn't even the only thing that has happened since we got engaged. (ADDED MORE)
2009wedding
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Vent... That wasn't even the only thing that has happened since we got engaged. (ADDED MORE)
I do not know if I am wrong to feel this way or if I should say something to my cousin or what but I needed to vent to someone. My cousin just got engaged on Friday which I am very happy for her but she is trying to have her wedding in 2008. I am very upset about this cause my FH and I are having our wedding Jan 2 2009. She knew this way before she got engaged now I am afraid she is going to have her wedding before mine and my out of town family will go to hers and not mine. We all had bets that this was going to happen and it has. I just never thought my fear would come true. She has been obsessed with weddings since she was a little girl she has scared a lot of men away because of this. Even before I got engaged we were at family event and she was going on and on about how her boyfriend better propose to her that night cause they were going to the city and she got her nails done. Then she was going on and on about how she has her wedding all planned out and what is going to happen. My fh wanted to say to her your cousin is getting engaged before you. He was getting fed up with her carrying on about a wedding that she wants mean while she wasn't even engaged yet. My family and I knew that she would try to rush to the alter before me if she did get engaged. I am very upset about this and I did not know if I am wrong for feeling upset or if I have a right to be. She doesn't even have money to get married and she is trying to get her wedding date for Oct 2008. It kills me to know she would do this to my fh and I when she knows our date is Jan 2, 2009. She also knows it is hard for some relatives to get off for two events that are so close to each other. Everyone knows my date and that we set it months ago. I am now thinking about sending out my save the dates so everyone knows my date is set. I am so worried I am going to be the one that gets hurt and my day is going to be wrecked cause my family can not be there cause they went to her wedding. I never can be happy or enjoy things with out something happening. I have the worse luck and I guess I always will.
That wasn't even the first thing that went wrong since I have been engaged. A lot of my family never showed up for my engagement party. Either they had other plans or they couldn't come to NY again after being her two weeks before cause someone passed away in my family. I was very hurt. Then after that I found out one of my other cousins threw a fit cause I got engaged the day before Thanksgiving and her engagement party was the day after Thanksgiving. So my Aunt, Uncle and cousin got very upset with my fhand I and made us feel very unwanted at the engagement party were we left. They christmas came and they decided to wreck my families christmas cause they were still upset that I got engaged. They told my father that my Mom and him should have told my fh not to propose and wait mean while he had been planning this for months. I feel like it is not meant to be with me getting married. I feel like I can't be happy cause my family has to wreck things for me. I feel like this is unfair and I am stressed about things. I am very hurt and upset. And now this happens with my other cousin.
*****UPDATE AT BOTTOM****
IrishBrideASmiling
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Re: Vent...
Hey if your cousin is as annoying as you say and since you were engaged first and planned everything first, maybe your family will feel like they should go to yours and not hers. I mean yours is right after the holidays so they may even just want to come for the holidays and stay for your wedding!
little34
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Re: Vent...
I would send out your save the dates and try not to worry about what she is doing.. if she wants to get married before you then just let it be... I am sure that if you send your STD's out then the family will go to yours...but if not try to look on the bright side that you will have to pay for less people and I am sure they will still send gifts. I am going through this with my MOH...she just got engaged and she is getting married before me, but I have to think that she is just as excited as I am to be getting married...and I would rather get married after her anyway. More dramatic that way! :)
But try not to let it get you down...you can't put dibs on the year you get married....just focus on making your day what you want it to be and it will all turn out ok!!!!
xBrunette
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Member since
Re: Vent...
send out your std cards... and if what you say is true about her not having money to pay for a wedding, she'll realize that and maybe she'll change her date... dreams are not always reality.... so dont stress it... hopefully your family sees it your way... and they'll make time to come to yours and say sorry can't come to her... keep ur head up.. and thoughts high...
CNC4eva3402
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Re: Vent...
Don't worry. You do deserve to be upset. But don't let it get to you to the point where it will ruin your wedding. Most likely, she's going to want this big extravegant wedding if shes been pushing it and dreaming of it for years, and when she realizes just how much they are she may push her date back. Either way, the family that really cares about you will still definatly come to your wedding..and thats all that matters. Try to keep your focus on YOUR day and what REALLY matters. Everyone who matters, will be there.
Ms SunnShinne
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Re: Vent... That wasn't even the only thing that has happened since we got engaged. (ADDED MORE)
I suggest u send out ur save the dates...if ur family cares they will come and have been planning to come. If they dont they werent going to `come in the first place. No heaven or hell will stop my family from coming if they really want to come. Stop over stressing urself with other peoples matters. They wedding is about u and ur FH so just focus on that. Weddings and Marriage bring out the UGLY in people. I know u feel like its unfair but u have to do what u got to do to make YOU and YOUR FH happy not anyone else. You only live once do not comprimise!
Jflod710
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Re: Vent... That wasn't even the only thing that has happened since we got engaged. (ADDED MORE)
Dont let your family get you down. If you are in love and want to be married to your fh.The people who are meant to be there will be there. Its your day your life dont let anyone else ruining it for you!
Dr Meg
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Re: Vent... That wasn't even the only thing that has happened since we got engaged. (ADDED MORE)
As many people keep saying to me, the people who matter will come to your wedding not matter what.
2009wedding
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Re: Vent... That wasn't even the only thing that has happened since we got engaged. (ADDED MORE)
Thank you ladies for your help. I am going to send out my save the date magnets this week or weekend even though I wanted to wait unt Jan. Thank you ladies for listening. I am still upset about everything that has happened since my fh and I got engaged. I really thought my family was the best thing now I am very upset and mad at my family right now. At this point I just want to go away and get married.
novia26
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Re: Vent... That wasn't even the only thing that has happened since we got engaged. (ADDED MORE)
MzHopesAlot
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Re: Vent... That wasn't even the only thing that has happened since we got engaged. (ADDED MORE)
First of all, who is to say you cant be engaged when you were? That is terrible for your own family to make you feel bad about it!!!! If he had been planning it, its not like he PROPOSED AT YOUR COUSINS ENGAGEMENT PARTY!! I mean jeeze. Secondly, if I were you I would send out the save the dates asap because that is a slap in the face if she makes sure she is ggetting married before you do. Seriously. That is so insane that she has everything planned and all. Its kinda like she doesnt care who she gets married to as long as its in her time line... third, im goign through the exact same thing hence the reason I am writing the way I am. It hurts me to think family could dothat to you. I mean, isn't the point of the engagement that you are planning on engaging in marriage? Like I said before, please, dont stress as much as I did. This is YOUR wedding. Write personal inviations to YOUR family members and send out the std cards asap. I would send it to all BUt those who treated you the way they did that day at the engagement party. That is insane. To be mad all the way through the holidays when holidays are celebration of family... is sickening...
Anyway, were all ehre for you!
2009wedding
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Re: Vent... That wasn't even the only thing that has happened since we got engaged. (ADDED MORE)
I am sorry you are going threw that same thing MzHopesAlot. I hate it. I do not know what to do. I am so mad and upset. Family get be so annoying at times. To be honest now I wish I could cancel my wedding and go away with my fh and have a wedding with just the two of us. I do not even want my family there anymore they have put me threw to much since I have gotten engaged. I would think a normal family would be happy and excited for you. I am happy for my cousin but she knew our wedding date and about how my family would probably only make one since they do live so far away. I am so sick of my family and the drama. I just want my wedding to be perfect.
2009wedding
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Re: Vent... That wasn't even the only thing that has happened since we got engaged. (ADDED MORE)****UPDATE****
My mother talked to my grandfather since my cousin lives upstairs from my grandparents and thought maybe he could talk them out of Oct 2008. My Grandfather said Jamie has been obsessed with weddings since she was a child and Melinda(me) hasn't. I felt like I do everything for my grandparetns and this is what I get. My cousin doesn't even pay them the rent the she is suppose to pay them instead she uses her rent money for tattoos and whatever other crap she buys. Then I told my parents I am not inviting certain people to our wedding and my Dad answered with then I am not going to your wedding if you do not invite everyone. I was very hurt by that. Things just keep getting worse. Now I do not know what to do. I was thinking about calling up my cousin and talking to her.
MzHopesAlot
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Re: Vent... That wasn't even the only thing that has happened since we got engaged. (ADDED MORE)
Posted by 2009wedding
My mother talked to my grandfather since my cousin lives upstairs from my grandparents and thought maybe he could talk them out of Oct 2008. My Grandfather said Jamie has been obsessed with weddings since she was a child and Melinda(me) hasn't. I felt like I do everything for my grandparetns and this is what I get. My cousin doesn't even pay them the rent the she is suppose to pay them instead she uses her rent money for tattoos and whatever other crap she buys. Then I told my parents I am not inviting certain people to our wedding and my Dad answered with then I am not going to your wedding if you do not invite everyone. I was very hurt by that. Things just keep getting worse. Now I do not know what to do. I was thinking about calling up my cousin and talking to her.
I AM SO SORRY!!! My dad pulled that. BUt I couldnt bear to not have him there. Thats why my wedding is prob gona be 300+
2009wedding
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Re: Vent... That wasn't even the only thing that has happened since we got engaged. (ADDED MORE)
It really did hurt to hear my Dad say that to me. I want me Dad at my wedding to give me away.
italyngigi
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Re: Vent... That wasn't even the only thing that has happened since we got engaged. (ADDED MORE)
Hey hun feel better! Don't let them bother you. You should send out the save the dates!
tinadansr
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Re: Vent... That wasn't even the only thing that has happened since we got engaged. (ADDED MORE)
Call your cousin and tell her your glad that her wedding is before yours cause now you can learn from her mistakes!
And tell you fam to back off! They can be so annoying sometimes!
Good luck!
2009wedding
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Re: Vent... That wasn't even the only thing that has happened since we got engaged. (ADDED MORE)
All I want is to have my dream weding and to have everyone there. I want my wedding to be perfect. I want my fh to have the wedding he always wanted.I can't believe my family. I found out this has happened before. This is normal for my family once someone plans a wedding then everyone else gets engaged and plans a wedding too. This is not fair. Thank you all for your help. You all are great.
