VENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! UPDATE AT BOTTOM!

I rarely, if ever, vent about my FH - he wants to be involved in every step of the planning and wants to be a collective voice in the decision making. I love this, but I really want to scream and cry and just overall yell! We spent this entire weekend arguing over the small stuff and I know it's stress, but I'm tired of having this constant argument with him!!!!

First, my parents drove down here a week a half ago from Rochester to help with wedding planning, but b/c FH decided to make other plans with his father, we didn't get a blasted thing done!

Then, they drove home to Rochester, spent 2 days up there packing to drive down to DC to visit my brother and are now driving here from DC tomorrow afternoon to spend a few days and attend a bridal expo at out RH and then driving back to Rochester before the weekend b/c they commented to me they are exhausted.

So what does FH do? He makes plans with his band for Thursday and Friday evening!! The two days my parents are in town to do wedding planning - I wanted to go to the florist to check out our centerpieces and talk to them about the bo-q's, I wanted to take my Dad to the Tuxedo place to get fitted, but FH wants to be part of all of this b/c he doesn't want me selecting the tuxedo - he wants to do it. AAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!

I know I have 3 months to get this done, but only a limited amount of time with my parents on their visits. All I asked him to do was not make any plans, but he doesn't listen. I'm inclined to just piss him off more and make the appt with the vendors without him and go with my parents and say f*ck to him!

On top of all of this! The money to the Church is due this week and we have to meet with the priest to review our paper work to make sure it's all in order!!! When am I supposed to do this when FH is NEVER home!!!!!!!!!!!!



Thank you, vent over!

ETA: Spelling

Re: VENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have no advise, but to you. Men just don't get it sometimes (but we love em anyway!).

Re: VENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AAAWWWW....Don't worry....you should talk with him about it....maybe he won't mind not being there for the flowers or your dad's tux....your dad's not wearing the same at the bridal party so it shouldn't matter.....my fh had nothing to do with my father's tux..he picked out his own and it was free.....with the flowers--my fh didn't come b/c he knew i'd make a good choice with my mom----which didn't bother me b/c i really didn't care too much about the flowers--no real prefence-just wanted them to look pretty...So--basically just talk with him and share the time with your parents

Re: VENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

personally, i think i would make appointments with the vendors, regardless. i would make them and let him know - 'i told you they were coming making a trip here to help get these things done... if you'd like to come, you're going to need to reschedule your plans with your band'. it's the 2nd time in a row that he did this and it's not really fair to your family. and beyond frustrating to you because you have time constraints with them but are trying to make him happy.
UGH. they just don't get it.

Re: VENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you girls. Being able to have a forum to vent my frustrations helps a great deal!! I think I'll do just as AlmostMrsKelly advised and call and set up appointments and see what he does. I can't continue bending backwards for everyone b/c no one does it for me and these things need to be done and just as posted, he doesn't need to have a voice in my Dad's tuxedo since his will be all black and nothing like the wedding party.

It still pisses me off, though, that he continues to put the band ahead of this wedding planning at times. I know they're trying to break into the industry and are staying busy with all their gigs, but at what point does one determine what is most important?

Re: VENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am sorry you have to deal with this, it IS stress, just keep remembering that.

Now, very nicely, tell him that he HAS to go to the tux shop with your dad while your dad is there. It is very nice that he wants to be a part of everything, but if he isn't making the time then tell him that. Say 'I know you want to be a part of everything, and I am grateful for that, but since you are very busy lately, I am going to do xyz by myself on x day, if you want to help, change your plans.'

And if he can't/won't change his plans, just do what you need to do. If he really wants to help, then he can!

I hope that didn't seem mean, that is not at all how I meant it

Re: VENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Betsy -

Just make the vendor appointments and go with your parents. Bob will either change his plans or not - but your parents can't keep driving down here from Rochester to things for him to say 'oops sorry' - it's not fair to them, or you!!

Re: VENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

---

Posted by October Bliss

Betsy -

Just make the vendor appointments and go with your parents. Bob will either change his plans or not - but your parents can't keep driving down here from Rochester to things for him to say 'oops sorry' - it's not fair to them, or you!!

---

Thanks Darlene - I guess I'll have a busy lunch hour making phone calls!

Re: VENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

---

Posted by ewickens

---

Posted by October Bliss

Betsy -

Just make the vendor appointments and go with your parents. Bob will either change his plans or not - but your parents can't keep driving down here from Rochester to things for him to say 'oops sorry' - it's not fair to them, or you!!

---

I agree...sometimes we just need to do what we have to do...he'll catch on eventually.