My cousin's wife was not able to attend my shower because her and the baby were going to Florida to visit her family. Fine.
I attended her shower and spent close to $100 on her for one of her lenox place settings. This was 3 years ago.
I received her RSVP to the wedding stating that she would attend today.
At my shower, my cousin (her sister-in-law)never mentioned to me why she wasn't there (I found out after from my mom.) She did not send a gift to the shower, nor did she send one to me in the mail. She could have at least included a note in the RSVP to my wedding that she is sorry she missed my shower.
I am just a little annoyed. I know enough to give her the benefit of the doubt, but if she doesn't recognize my shower by the wedding, whether it be a gift, letter, card, phone call . . . something, I am going to be very insulted, especially considering we (my parents and I) have always been very generous to her for her shower, their wedding and for her baby shower.
brooklynbridezilla
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Re: Vent . . . would this bother you?
It would piss me off and hurt my feelings if my family members never bothered to acknowledge my wedding.
N.Y.bride
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Re: Vent . . . would this bother you?
I would probably be a little insulted that she didn't even really mention it, but try not to let it get to you. Who knows what's really going on in her life? Maybe you'll get something soon.
rocky23
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Re: Vent . . . would this bother you?
I know exactly how you feel one of my bridesmaids did not attend my shower because of a wedding she was in and didnt send a gift, I was truly pissed, I finally mentioned it to her and she made up some ******** that she hasnt had the time to get a gift but the shower was almost two months ago.
LO13LO13
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Re: Vent . . . would this bother you?
i would be ticked
Backinneyork
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Yes, it would definitely bother me! Hopefully she'll make it up in her wedding gift.
OctRo05
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Re: Vent . . . would this bother you?
I would probably bother me for a minute. But I have realized over time, people and their finances are private. We never truly know what troubles someone may be facing at the moment. (Think of the $$ all of us are scraping together to pay off the Big Day). Give her some time, she may soon acknowledge you. If not, find it in your heart to forgive her. .. If that doesn't work for you...try a body slam!
july06bride
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Re: Vent . . . would this bother you?
you have the right to feel hurt/mad its family and she didnt even acknowledge you! i wouldnt let it get to you too much though, because in the end it is not worth it!
BRod-Cheng
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Re: Vent . . . would this bother you?
You have got to be kidding me. you are going to hold a grudge against your cousin's wife for that!!! are you 14? I can understand you being hurt that she did not attend the shower, but you should have gotten over that the minute you found out the reason. As for the gift, did you give her a gift in order to keep a tab so that you can collect when your time came? Becasue that is exactly the way you are behaving.
You'll probably hate my response, but you asked for our opinions.
steelersforlife
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Re: Vent . . . would this bother you?
It's hard because when you do something for someone you expect them to do the same in return. That doesn't always happen. When I am this situation I always wonder what I should do. In the end I just forget about it and try to move on.
sophie78
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Re: Vent . . . would this bother you?
I am really don't think she did anything wrong.
BriBri529
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Re: Vent . . . would this bother you?
Posted by BRod-Cheng
You have got to be kidding me. you are going to hold a grudge against your cousin's wife for that!!! are you 14? I can understand you being hurt that she did not attend the shower, but you should have gotten over that the minute you found out the reason. As for the gift, did you give her a gift in order to keep a tab so that you can collect when your time came? Becasue that is exactly the way you are behaving.
You'll probably hate my response, but you asked for our opinions.
I don't care about a gift, I care about the fact that there was no recognition at all! She could have at least sent a note in the response to the wedding 'sorry I missed your shower, I hope it went well' SOMETHING- not a GIFT necessarily just SOME sort of RECOGNITION.
And you are right that I hate your response, not because of what you are trying to say, but the CLASSLESS way you have said it. And if you would have READ my post you would have seen it is not all about a GIFT it is about going out of your way for someone and getting NOTHING in return! Maybe you should read posts more thoroughly before responding and when you do, respond with some tact instead of accusing people of acting 14 and what not. You are rude and there is ABSOLUTELY NO NEED FOR YOU to be RUDE.
JPC1125
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Re: Vent . . . would this bother you?
to be completely honest....if I turned down an invite, I would never had sent a gift for any occasion until belonging to this website and hearing about etiquette
maybe naivete is the reason
BriBri529
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Re: Vent . . . would this bother you?
Okay, maybe people are overlooking the message in my post. I am insulted that my shower was overlooked PERIOD- not about not receiving a gift, but a PHONE CALL, A CARD, A NOTE WITH THE RESPONSE CARD TO THE WEDDING- anything. I am not insulted ONLY because there was no gift. I know I mention a gift, but did you read the rest of what I said?
BlueTulip
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Re: Vent . . . would this bother you?
I read it, and I'd be ticked too. How hard is it to send a card? Also, she knows what it feels likes, she's already been through this.
Mrs. dleeny
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Re: Vent . . . would this bother you?
Posted by BriBri529
Okay, maybe people are overlooking the message in my post. I am insulted that my shower was overlooked PERIOD- not about not receiving a gift, but a PHONE CALL, A CARD, A NOTE WITH THE RESPONSE CARD TO THE WEDDING- anything. I am not insulted ONLY because there was no gift. I know I mention a gift, but did you read the rest of what I said?
IMO, you have a right be pissed. I would be!
BriBri529
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Re: Vent . . . would this bother you?
OSCARtheGROOM
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Re: Vent . . . would this bother you?
Posted by BRod-Cheng
You have got to be kidding me. you are going to hold a grudge against your cousin's wife for that!!! are you 14? I can understand you being hurt that she did not attend the shower, but you should have gotten over that the minute you found out the reason. As for the gift, did you give her a gift in order to keep a tab so that you can collect when your time came? Becasue that is exactly the way you are behaving.
You'll probably hate my response, but you asked for our opinions.
Thanks for your opinion!!! Your real smooth with words. If you don't have nothing nice to say then don't say it at all!
ckgmwedding
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Re: Vent . . . would this bother you?
I will be honest- I don't think I would care since I am the most forgetful person in the world and it has nothing to do with how much I care about a person. I even forgot to send out my Mother's Day card this year since I was so busy with the invites and I don't even get to see her that day since I am 2500 miles away. OH, and I spoke to my dad on his birthday and forgot to even wish him a happy day! I just totally spaced and was calling to ask a question about this silly wedding. So not everyone is trying to be hurtful or rude- sometimes just careless or forgetful. Please don't flame me; just my take on the subject.
But on another topic- you sound really stressed, tired and overwhelmed and need a big actually how about a bunch
tray831
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Re: Vent . . . would this bother you?
Unfortunately, I've come to realize that there are many people out there that love to take, take, take but hate to give, give give (even if its a simple acknowledgement with a card to say Congratulations).
Sometimes, that's all it takes to make us smile to know we are acknowledged......
