Vent . . . would this bother you?

Yes I would be very hurt that she did not even call to ask how the shower was or write a casual note or email.
I understand it is not about the gift. But even the fact that you took the time out to go pick out a gift for her shower, spend hard earned $$ on it, attend her shower, her wedding, and then all over again for her baby shower and she couldn't even pick up the phone or a pen and say ' I hope you had a great time at your shower' Is very rude and disrespectful IMO

I wouldn't be annoyed that she didn't send a shower gift since she didn't go. It isn't required to send a gift if you don't go to the shower. As long as she's attending the wedding and gives you something nice then I wouldn't get too bent out of shape over it. I mean, if she has a baby she's prob got a million and 1 things to worry about, and unfortunately your shower gift may fall lower on her list of priorities. I understand your nice gestures for her, but maybe due to her $$ situation she just can't do the same for you. Circumstances change and I'm sure she'd like to do something but as things pile up and time flies by sometimes you just never get to them. JMO! Trying to give her the benefit of the doubt.

I completely understand where you're coming from. One of FH's cousins didn't even respond to my shower nor did she send a gift. Last year, when she got married, I went to Pennsylvania for her bridal shower with a generous gift. Her baby shower was two months ago-I couldn't make it, but we did send them a gift to which I have not yet received a thank you card. I feel like sending her an etiquette book.

I don't know. I RSVPd no to a bridal shower of a friend a few weeks ago and never talked to her about it. Haven't seen her since, didn't mention it in the RSVP card...I figured I would just be more generous with the wedding money than getting her another frying pan, and say sorry in person when I saw her then. I didn't think a phone call was necessary.

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Posted by BriBri529

My cousin's wife was not able to attend my shower because her and the baby were going to Florida to visit her family. Fine.

I attended her shower and spent close to $100 on her for one of her lenox place settings. This was 3 years ago.

I received her RSVP to the wedding stating that she would attend today.

At my shower, my cousin (her sister-in-law)never mentioned to me why she wasn't there (I found out after from my mom.) She did not send a gift to the shower, nor did she send one to me in the mail. She could have at least included a note in the RSVP to my wedding that she is sorry she missed my shower.

I am just a little annoyed. I know enough to give her the benefit of the doubt, but if she doesn't recognize my shower by the wedding, whether it be a gift, letter, card, phone call . . . something, I am going to be very insulted, especially considering we (my parents and I) have always been very generous to her for her shower, their wedding and for her baby shower.

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Yes, you are right to be bothered by this. Especially since she was only married 3 years ago.

I could speak on this until the 'cows come home' as I did so much for my cousins and I was paying my way through school 12 plus years ago when they got married. Now that it's my turn... my shower is tomorrow, watch, they'll all chip in on a dishtowel. My Dad was supergenerous to them too given that he has never made as much as the rest of the family. He built one of them a custom made wall unit (the oak alone was $800 14 years ago) he was a single parent and I was in college. He also gave them a cash gift on top of that and a sizable check when all of their children were born. My cousins have over 20 kids, one has 8 kids alone. After my Dad had his stroke, he asked me to send the one who has 8 a check for # 5, 6, 7, 8. Well, we have never gotten a thank you at all so I just stopped. I mean at 8 kids, $200 each or more when born, my cousin Danny and his wife have gotten at least $1600 from my Dad. Ask me tomorrow, I will bet everything I have that not only will she not come to the shower, she will not send a gift, a card or even a phone call.

I hear you on this one. You have every right to be ticked off. Well, now we both know. Can you tell there will be severe cuts to my Christmas card list this year? No more for them.

Yes. Been there, done that. Gave someone a $100 bill at their at-home bridal shower. Didn't get a darn thing from her when it was my turn. Same for the wedding. Gave her a nice gift, got nothing from her.

I realize that if someone doesn't attend, they don't have to give a gift. HOWEVER, in the case where someone was REALLY generous to you, even if you're not going to attend ANYTHING for that person, you should at least send a card

When she has a baby, I better not get an invitation to ANYTHING...

to you... I totally understand how you feel... I think you have every right to feel the way you do. At least an acknowledgement would have been nice.

I would try not to let it bother you too much..

It would really bother me!
I think she should of at least sent a gift.