So, last night when FH and I were out with some friends, he told me that his older sister is not going to be one of my BM's. I don't even know how to react. I have known FH since I was 14 and have always felt close with his family. His older sister is the only one I did not feel that close with because she lives in the city and I never saw her that often. I always had a feeling that she did not like me that much. She did and said certain things to make me feel that way. However, I made an effort to have a relationship with her because I know that FH loves his sister. The thing is that she said to him 'Well, she didn't even ask me in person. She did it through e-mail.' I did it that way before I found out that a lot of people create these cards and do this whole process of asking someone to be a BM. I did not really feel that that was necessary. I guess that when I asked everyone else in my BP, it was not a big deal because everyone else expected it and I am close with everyone else. FH said he was angry about that and told her that she lives far away and can't expect me to show up at her door to ask her. She then said 'Well, I don't want to wear one of those dresses.' That is what she originally responded to me in the e-mail and FH and his mom said that she was probably joking and they thought it was funny. I didn't. I feel that she just doesn't care for me that much and does not want to be a part of my BP. Fine, I'll deal with that. Now I am starting to worry though. I feel as though I am not as close with his other 2 sisters anymore. I asked both of them along with his brother's gf to be in the BP. I have not seen anyone that much over the past year when I was finishing school and working all the time. I am also worried that my MOH, who is my sister, is going to get stuck paying for a lot of things on her own. I know my 3 best friends would probably help her but I am not sure if the other people I mentioned will be able to help. I don't know what to do! I feel so down right now! I really needed to vent. Thank you girls.
michesq
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Re: VENT...a little long
No problem- we will all need to vent at one point or another. hang int here- in the end all will do the right thing and pitch in. I asked a friend of mine of 25 yrs to be in my weddign and she declined becasue did not like to wear heels, have hair done a certain way, etc,. In the end I repsected the decision and feel I am better off since I don;t have a person in the bridal party that is goign to resent everythign that needs to be done
stephlovesseyi
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Re: VENT...a little long
Sending you hugs! I know that you are frustrated right now but trust and believe that everything will work out in the end!
FutureMrsLehmann
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Re: VENT...a little long
don't worry!
mcclj74
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Re: VENT...a little long
hugs hall twin - i know that ***** - but you are probably better off - i know the feeling of drifting away from everyone - i feel like that now b/c i am finishing school this semester and i will be studying for the bar this summer - but i am sure that they understood that you were working and finishing school - HUGS! - it will all work out! and dont worry about venting that is what we are here for!
KristiAnn923
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Re: VENT...a little long
I'm so sorry to hear that and I know you must be upset about it but in the long run it is better to know this now than for her to back out later. I'm sure the other sisters are fine. Everyone has a lot going on and it is very difficult to keep in touch on a regular basis. Try and cheer up.
mf2009
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Re: VENT...a little long
Don't get upset sweetie. Although this may be upsetting you would rather have people in your wedding party who genuinely WANT to be there. Don't get upset over something you can't control. And don't even think about putting other ppl in your BP just because your future SIL doesn't want to be in it and you are afraid your sister will spend too much money. Your sis DOES NOT have to sell her soul in order to be a great MOH. It's all about the effort and making sure she is there for you every step of the way. That is all that matters. You have better and more important things to be dealing with for your wedding and you don't want to have to worry about BP nonsense. Cheer up and enjoy your planning before its all over.
fabulousmady
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Re: VENT...a little long
Posted by mf2009
Don't get upset sweetie. Although this may be upsetting you would rather have people in your wedding party who genuinely WANT to be there. Don't get upset over something you can't control. And don't even think about putting gather ppl in your BP just because your future SIL doesn't want to be in it and you are afraid your sister will spend too much money. Your sis DOES NOT have to sell her soul in order to be a great MOH. It's all about the effort and making sure she is there for you every step of the way. That is all that matters. You have better and more important things to be dealing with for your wedding and you don't want to have to worry about BP nonsense. Cheer up and enjoy your planning before its all over.
ABSOLUTELY!!!!!! If she doesnt want to be in ur BP then you shouldnt worry one bit. You dont want anyone who REALLY doesnt want to be a part of your day there anyway. Hang in there and dont let it ruin the excitment of your wedding planning.
PrincessBride09
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Re: VENT...a little long
Thank you all so much for your support. It's funny that I have never met any of you and yet I turned to this site right away to vent and to try to feel better. It really does help to be able to communicate with other people who know what you're going through! Thanks again.
MrsBtobe2009
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Re: VENT...a little long
I am sorry. If she doesn't want to be a part of your special day....screw her. She will feel like a jerk when everyone else (including her sisters) and being inroduced and are involved. On a positive note, it is better that she said she doesn't want to be a part of it than say OK and then be miserable throughout the entire process. I think that would upset me more. My best friend is getting married tomorrow and her FSIL is in the wedding party, but wants nothing to do with it. She told my bf that she will not get shoes. She has black ones and that is that. Mind you the dress is Wine and Ivory, so black shoes when everyone else is wearing ivory will look silly. So think of it like that. She also might come around. Your FMIL may say something to her that could get her to change her attitude. Hope it all goes well.
