I acutally agree with you too Charlote - but at least you are just getting FIL problems now... my FH and I were forwarded a guest list from the inlaws about 7 months before we were even engaged. This weekend we had a 'sit down discussion' to go over the fact that I'm controlling my wedding too much. WHAT!!! I suggested that we then put 4 figures on top of the cake - me , the FH and the FIL's!
regi
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Re: Vent...future MIL
Posted by vhollo01
I acutally agree with you too Charlote - but at least you are just getting FIL problems now... my FH and I were forwarded a guest list from the inlaws about 7 months before we were even engaged. This weekend we had a 'sit down discussion' to go over the fact that I'm controlling my wedding too much. WHAT!!! I suggested that we then put 4 figures on top of the cake - me , the FH and the FIL's!
. My fmil thought she was geting a bouquet. I suggested she throw it to the single women instead of me. anyway, she is getting acorsage not a bouquet
dm24angel
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Re: Vent...future MIL
Posted by charlotte227
And yes, I do think you are supposed to call and just start having a discussion with her. Why is she finding things out through the grapevine? Why can't you just call her and talk to her about the wedding?
You stated in your other post about your mom that you've been keeping her out of the loop as well. I'm honestly not sure what you expect when you don't keep people informed. Just tell her the colors and let her get her dress.
FYI this is 2004 we have a wedding website, STD's were sent out, 7 months ago I called her and patiently listened to the drama...as of today I'm done with it period. I could give a rats a**! Really
WOAH...you may need to take a step back..this is really not ( the discussion on LIW) or the issue with FH's mom something to get so annoyed over...life and wedding planning is too short...
I added my comments because I felt had she called you to ask what color your mom was wearing it sounds like you still would be upset that the timing was late etc, and as far as how communication goes, you dont like her, thats obvious, so she must know this, and thats likely why she hasnt called and as time is getting near she did and your upset? She does need to know or else you may end up with her wearing something you did not like... Doesnt make your relationship right but take it with a grain of salt...being mad doesnt change the situation at all..
Good luck!
RedHead
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Re: Vent...future MIL
Personally i feel bad for you....You seem to be a very defensive peson and if you can't handle feed back DON'T POST! ETA..Uhmmmmm maybe you should look at how rude you are to people who want to give you helpful advise, the next time you wonder why people are replying to your posts!
RedHead
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Posted by charlotte227
.just what the heck are we supposed to do call and start having a discussion?!
YES you are
HearzBellz
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Re: Vent...future MIL
I told MIL what NOT to wear to make sure she did not match my side of the family. Since our colours were blue & purple, and my mother chose purple, MIL & DH's grandmother wore different shades of blue. it was a discussion we had about 6 months before the wedding & one month after the planning.
HearzBellz
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Re: Vent...future MIL
Posted by oct.2004bride
Posted by charlotte227
.just what the heck are we supposed to do call and start having a discussion?!
YES you are
I don't understand why you wouldn't?
charlotte227
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Re: Vent...future MIL
As some of you (perfect fairy tale) brides on this site may not realize when a post is placed it is not your duty to reply nor get into anyone's business.
I started this post off as a VENT, and when someone vents usually people sit and listen period.
If you have a comment and its positive or uplifiting which is what we should be doing to one another state it...why would someone want to hear your negative comments and you are personally clueless....remember weddings are stressful enough and then you come on the boards and you get this nonsense, please!
Not every bride gets along with FMIL's or other family members...some people are mature enough to ignore their stupidity and short comings and move on...I should not have to defend a vent, it's mine not yours if you don't like it click on another post.
BEING TACTFUL GOES ALONG TRY USING IT THE NEXT TIME.
RedHead
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Re: Vent...future MIL
Charlotte.... Yes you posted to vent, but if you want us all to sit there and say OH YOU ARE SOOOO RIGHT....well that is silly You, yourself give opinions when others write a VENT post.... So don't be a hypocrit when people give their opinions about YOUR VENT posts.... And we are not getting into you business, you are inviting us into it
I have yet to come across a fairytale wedding here, one without its defficulties.. so who you are talking about doesn't exsist!
You wanted honest opinons...don't get you panties in a bunch if you can't handle hearing HONEST OPINIONS..
LADYLUV69
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Re: Vent...future MIL
Charlotte I have to agree with you. Your FMIL knew about the wedding for 7 months, I don't see why you have to call her and tell her what color to wear. Most parents would call the bride/groom in a timely matter and ask for themselves. FMIL is not contributing towards anything, so she does not have the privilege to have an input. We are currently in the year of 2004 and a vast majority of us are paying for our weddings without the financial support of our parents, in-laws or whatever. This is our day and not theirs. As long as you are paying you control the outcome & planning of your wedding!!! I do not care about the etiquette that goes along with the planning of the wedding b/c that all goes out the window especially if the people you are dealing with are not on the same page. I personally believe that calling people to tell the what color to wear or asking them to send in the response call is a waste of time!!! WE ARE DEALING WITH GROWN PEOPLE AND NOT CHILDREN!!
fall2005bride
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Re: Vent...future MIL
I have some really big differences with my FIL's as well... they haven't asked about it since the day we booked the reception location- it's to the point where I had to send THEM a STD because we weren't sure if they even know the date of our wedding, some peple just aren't lucky enough to have the support of BOTH sides of the family... it sucks, but what can you do?
Charlotte, good luck with everything, it'll all work out in the end cause you are marrying your Prince charming-not your FIL'S ( or FMIL)
regi
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Re: Vent...future MIL
Posted by oct.2004bride
Posted by charlotte227
.just what the heck are we supposed to do call and start having a discussion?!
YES you are
it isn't so easy to do this. Unless you have been in this type of situation or a similar one, it isn't fair to respond.
HearzBellz
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Re: Vent...future MIL
Posted by regi
Posted by oct.2004bride
Posted by charlotte227
.just what the heck are we supposed to do call and start having a discussion?!
YES you are
it isn't so easy to do this. Unless you have been in this type of situation or a similar one, it isn't fair to respond.
For your information, I do not have the greatest relationship with my MIL....she did not want me & DH to get married & made no efforts to hide her feelings.....Which is why I made damned sure I did everything right.
I did not want DH to be constantly in the middle of a tug-of-war with us, so I became the bigger person from day 1.
And it worked out to everyone's advantage as we now have a 'working' relationship. It took a long time to make such little progress, but it is progress.
BTW, if you do not want people to respond to a question, then do not end your post with one....
RedHead
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Re: Vent...future MIL
Posted by regi
Posted by oct.2004bride
Posted by charlotte227
.just what the heck are we supposed to do call and start having a discussion?!
YES you are
it isn't so easy to do this. Unless you have been in this type of situation or a similar one, it isn't fair to respond.
SO i guess my response is warrented since i have had 'issues' with my FMIL... ANd i agree with Hearzbellz 100% taking the high road is ALWAYS the best bet to insure your own happiness. Or at least you knew you weren't being CADDY!
