We had our e party this past weekend and it was so special. I could not believe how generous everyone but my brother. He has a great job wife and two small children, and he does not live local. I'm so upset and hurt because he did not give us a gift or even a congrates card! We have a good relationship and i just don't get it i actually asked him if he handed me a card since i was thinking i lost it and he said yea i handed you a bunch which i responded, from you? yes he said i handed it to you from my hand, this was him being sarcastic, i dropped it since FH was in the room and i'm hurt and confused. My parents don't get it either i heard them talking but i really don't want them to say anything. He is in my bridal party since he is my only brother and i feel like he is not worthy. I'm so hurt cause its as if he does know better based on his comment when i asked. I do relized that they had to stay in a hotel for a night for me plus the stayed an extra night and went to nyc for a broadway show and dinner while me and fh watched the kids. I feel very used and hurt, i would of appreciated even a card with words of congrates or even explanation. The best part of all is he said i usually don't like theses things but we had a really good time.....What does eveyone think?
SummerBride10
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Re: Venting about family from e party
That's a really hard situation. Does he usually not give gifts when he goes to parties? Maybe he thought paying for the hotel was enough?
amandah75
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Re: Venting about family from e party
It's sad that you feel your brother isn't worthy to be in your bridal party because he didn't give you a monetary gift or a card. Engagement parties should not be viewed as a way to make money; it's a day to celebrate your upcoming wedding and love. To expect something takes away from the meaning of the day.
He was there for you, that should be enough.
stinenandy2010
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Re: Venting about family from e party
It really could be that he's just a guy and doesn't think like that. Plus, maybe he thinks he is spending a lot of money to be in the bridal party that he doesn't have to give you anything. There are probably a thousand different explanations. I would just talk to him, could just be a misunderstanding.
Kimmypie143
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Re: Venting about family from e party
Im so sorry! I know how you feel. My brother didnt give us anything either. I had invited some of his friends that i've know since they were little and they all gave me somthing his best friend even gave me a $500 margarittaville drink maker which i told him was way too much. I didnt even get a card from my brother. But he was there and the fact he was there ment a lot. I have a sister who sent a gift but didnt put any effort to come to ny for my party I was willing to pay for her airfare. So having my brother with no gift ment more then the gift my sister mailed me bc i would have rather had her there.
Im not sure why he wouldnt give you anything since he is im sure much older then my 21 year old brother and he is married with children he should know better. I would have your parents ask him. It would have even been better if you had at least gotten a card. But he was there so keep that in mind he wouldnt have come if he didnt care. Im sorry hun
Angel06
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Re: Venting about family from e party
Posted by amandah75
It's sad that you feel your brother isn't worthy to be in your bridal party because he didn't give you a monetary gift or a card. Engagement parties should not be viewed as a way to make money; it's a day to celebrate your upcoming wedding and love. To expect something takes away from the meaning of the day.
He was there for you, that should be enough.
The statement above is out of anger and surprise of cource he will be in our bridal party(i said that more because i was not asked to be in his when he was married and i'm very hurt all togeather.
Angel06
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Re: Venting about family from e party
Yes i guess you are all right he must care, he is just different than a lot of people. When i had mentioned we are having an e-party he said 'well how many of these wedding related events am i going to have to attend.' I don't think you should question something like this. Fh and i have gone out of state many times and never once even mentioned it to be there out of love.
FallBride2010
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Re: Venting about family from e party
gifts should really not be expected for an engagement party. it's more of a celebration -- rather than a gift giving event. that being said, most people gave gifts at mine. a card would have been nice. my brother hasnt given me a gift yet. he said he plans to, but hasnt. so maybe he's just delayed. if you are that close...why not jokingly come out and ask where your gift is? That's what I did. We are close enough to joke about it.
kater08
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Re: Venting about family from e party
Engagement parties are difficult...a lot of people honestly don't know they should give gifts. Between the shower and the actual wedding, sometimes I think its a lot to ask of people. You can't expect everyone to shell out $600+ in assorted gifts and other expenses just because you're getting married.
However, a card is always nice. That only costs $2 and writing something really nice and heartfelt is usually better than a set of wine glasses!!
christophersgirl
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Re: Venting about family from e party
awww i'm sorry you feel that way
maybe he had a good reason or he's just being a guy and didn't think of it and his wife didn't either?
amandah75
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Re: Venting about family from e party
Posted by Angel06
Posted by amandah75
It's sad that you feel your brother isn't worthy to be in your bridal party because he didn't give you a monetary gift or a card. Engagement parties should not be viewed as a way to make money; it's a day to celebrate your upcoming wedding and love. To expect something takes away from the meaning of the day.
He was there for you, that should be enough.
The statement above is out of anger and surprise of cource he will be in our bridal party(i said that more because i was not asked to be in his when he was married and i'm very hurt all togeather.
I understand your hurt.....I wasn't asked to be in my one brother's wedding because his wife wasn't fond of me. I think out of guilt they ended up asking me to do a reading like a month before the wedding. Luckily things are better now and I'm actually godmother to my niece.
I was just questioning what you were upset about. Is it the money or the fact that you feel like your brother didn't recognize the importance of the day because he didn't give you something. Like someone else said, her brother coming empty handed meant more to her than her sister's mailed gift. I think understanding that will help in your approach to your brother if you decide to confront him.
christine2010
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Re: Venting about family from e party
i have a brother who is married & has three kids all under the age of 7. i am not including him or my SIL in my wedding but am including the kids. i realize that it is a big expense & am not expecting a gift from him. he does a lot for me & has his own business & with the economy is struggling (like a lot of other people are).
so you should not take offense to him not giving u a gift. i am sure it wasn't anything personal. this is one of the reasons why i didn't have an engagement party. people feel obligated to give gifts & in the long run it all adds up. with engagement party, bridal party expenses, shower gifts, wedding gifts.
