Venting - Wedding Party Gift

eden Posted: Oct 23, 2006 01:14 AM

Venting - Wedding Party Gift

So I gave everyone in my groomsmen party a gift of worth about 50 bucks at the rehearsal dinner.

But for my ringbearer who is my brother's son, I was alot more generous. I gave the boy an evelope with 120 bucks in it. That would cover his $70 tux rental and a $50 cash gift for him...

Well, my brother came up to me today and gave me a receipt for the tux. He didn't realized that I had already paid for the tux rental as part of the 120 cash I already gave. So he was giving it to me to ask for reimbursement. :P

I awkwardly gave him another 50 bucks on top of the 120 I had already given him. He then said oh, the tux rental is actually 70 bucks! :P

Should I mention to him that, um, I already gave his boy a total of 120+50 = 170 for his boy to walk down the aisle?

And the boy had to be bribed to walk down by someone at the other end of the aisle... with skittle candies! :P

beachbum05 Posted: Oct 23, 2006 01:17 AM

Re: Venting - Wedding Party Gift

GASP!

How rude! I think you just have to grin and bear it though...

snydl40 Posted: Oct 23, 2006 01:19 AM

Re: Venting - Wedding Party Gift

Nope-I would tell him. I don't hold anything back.

JeanineP2B Posted: Oct 23, 2006 01:23 AM

Re: Venting - Wedding Party Gift

I would have definitely said something... BUT now that you've already given him the , it's kinda late IMO. It would be even more awkward to approach him now.

That stinks

drpepper318 Posted: Oct 23, 2006 02:46 AM

Re: Venting - Wedding Party Gift

That stinks! How rude of him to ask you for reimbursement for the tux! You're not responsible to pay for it, and it was so nice of you to give him 120 in the first place (very generous)! I'd be majorly pissed!

RadioLau Posted: Oct 23, 2006 08:30 AM

Re: Venting - Wedding Party Gift

If it were my brother I wouldn't have given the extra money when he asked. I would have explained to him about the 120 right then and there. I would definately not give any more. Good luck!

nifheim Posted: Oct 23, 2006 08:32 AM

Re: Venting - Wedding Party Gift

I think it was rude to ask to do that. My nephew and neice are going to be my ring bearer and flower girl and my brother is paying for their outfits. Of course i plan on giving a gift part gift part money but i think that is truly rude to ask to be reinburst for something (unless your brother was having finacial difficulty)

Tiggeruth Posted: Oct 23, 2006 08:38 AM

Re: Venting - Wedding Party Gift

Why didn't you just explain this to your brother from the beginning? If I were giving my nephew that much cash I definitely would have altered my brother as to what was in the envelope and why. Did you tell your brother you'd be paying for the tux and that's why he gave you the receipt? I agree it was probably rude of your brother to ask but it also seems like there could have been some confusion going on as well. IIts probably too late now to do anything....so just vent and try not to let it upset you any more.

neener1211 Posted: Oct 23, 2006 08:51 AM

Re: Venting - Wedding Party Gift

I would have given a seperate envelpe to the parents for the tux...bc the kid would just think of it as an extra 70 and the parents wouldn't take it from him.

You need to now backtrack and tell your brother, and get your 50 bucks back...I totally wouldn't have given him an extra 50 bucks when he mentioned it....and why are you paying for the tux anyway?

billandme Posted: Oct 23, 2006 09:38 AM

Re: Venting - Wedding Party Gift

I see the confusion here.

Maybe a seperate evelope would have been a better option. BUT, I do have to say that you should let him know that's why the little guy received the large amount in the envelope ;)

Don't give him anymore money. You feel awkward becuase you already paid for the tux, plus $50 more.......he feels awkward because he feels that you're not paying for it. Just a HUGE miscommunication.........

babygirl71777 Posted: Oct 23, 2006 09:40 AM

Re: Venting - Wedding Party Gift

Posted by eden

So I gave everyone in my groomsmen party a gift of worth about 50 bucks at the rehearsal dinner.

But for my ringbearer who is my brother's son, I was alot more generous. I gave the boy an evelope with 120 bucks in it. That would cover his $70 tux rental and a $50 cash gift for him...

Well, my brother came up to me today and gave me a receipt for the tux. He didn't realized that I had already paid for the tux rental as part of the 120 cash I already gave. So he was giving it to me to ask for reimbursement. :P

I awkwardly gave him another 50 bucks on top of the 120 I had already given him. He then said oh, the tux rental is actually 70 bucks! :P

Should I mention to him that, um, I already gave his boy a total of 120+50 = 170 for his boy to walk down the aisle?

And the boy had to be bribed to walk down by someone at the other end of the aisle... with skittle candies! :P

haha skittle candies. how cute! umm i think i would nicely say something to him i mean thats a lot of money right there.

Mdolph6 Posted: Oct 23, 2006 09:43 AM

Re: Venting - Wedding Party Gift

I would definitly say something and hold nothing back, I am sorry but that is just so rude.

dante31300 Posted: Oct 23, 2006 09:47 AM

Re: Venting - Wedding Party Gift

Wow, I would definitely tell him it probably would've been better if you had just gone to the tux place and paid for the tux directly this way you could have just explained to him when he did ask that you had already taken care of the tux. Now I would just tell him I actually felt a little awkward when you came to me becuase I had already given you the money for the tux and a $50 gift. I was a little confused thinking that I must not have put the $70 in the envelope but after discussing it with FI I realized that the money was in fact in the envelope and I will need my $50 back since I have already paid for the tux in the initial envelope.

eden Posted: Oct 23, 2006 09:51 AM

Re: Venting - Wedding Party Gift

thanks for letting me vent girls...

i did tell my brother that if he showed me the receipt i'll reimburse him. (My whole family guilt-tripped me into this 'cus it's apparently an asian tradition to pay for all the wedding party apparel. Including the parents clothes. *sigh* )

My mistake is i went ahead and put the 120 in the red envelope and not let him know it's for a tux and gift. You would think he knows, but he doesn't!

My second mistake is giving him another 50 bucks instead of explaining the situation. :(

For crying out loud though. Why would I spend 120+50 (170 total!) for a 3 yo. boy just to walk down the aisle! My wedding gift cap was $50-60 bucks for everyone else! :P

I'm so incensed that I dont know if I should even bring it up, my only consolation is from now on, I'm cutting value of his son's bday gifts to make up for me overpaying him. :P

Bridex100 Posted: Oct 23, 2006 09:53 AM

Re: Venting - Wedding Party Gift

I personally would just give the brother the $70 he is asking for.

Giving a little boy a $120 present is different from giving the boy $50 and $70 to the parents for the tux. I think the boy would get upset if the parents took $70 from him.

This reminds me of a time when I was younger. My aunt was visiting from overseas and had given both me and my brother $1000 presents each. We were overjoyed as children.

My parents had spent a lot of time and money on hosting our aunt and uncle. Our aunt gave money to the children but not to our parents. My parents ended up taking $800 from us and left us $200 presents. I was soooooooooooooo upset.

Now that I am older, I understand.

eden Posted: Oct 23, 2006 10:06 AM

Re: Venting - Wedding Party Gift

That sux, that they should take YOUR money to entertain your aunt. :P

But that's not as bad as my parents taking my summer job money for the 5 years that I work from 14-18. :P :P

i think I got a measly 20 bucks from each paycheck! While my parents pocket the rest to help raise us. We were poor at the time.. :P

CASJLL Posted: Oct 23, 2006 01:17 PM

Re: Venting - Wedding Party Gift

Posted by snydl40

Nope-I would tell him. I don't hold anything back.

I agree...I'm the same...sometimes to a flaw

nferrandi Posted: Oct 23, 2006 01:26 PM

Re: Venting - Wedding Party Gift

I would definitely be upfront with your brother.

Glamorousbride Posted: Oct 24, 2006 09:27 AM

Re: Venting - Wedding Party Gift

are you kidding? i'm not paying for my rb's tux. i'm going to the parents in advance, explaining that i know it is an expense, do u want him to do it. Same with the flower girl. then whatever i give them as a 'gift' is up to me.

your tooooooooo nice lol