VENT...sorry it's so long but I don't know what to do

Lindsay14 Posted: Jul 11, 2011 10:02 AM

VENT...sorry it's so long but I don't know what to do

I am supposed to be flying to IL (where I am from) labor day weekend with my FMIL for my shower and bachelorette party. My sister decided that she was going to plan the shower and my other two bridesmaids who live in IL were going to plan the bachelorette party. My sister is a HUGE procrastinator and lacks in the skill of communication. The original plan since day one was to have the shower on Saturday and the bach party that night. We wanted to make sure everyone from out of town will be able to make it and not have a whole weekend wasted. My sister, who only thinks of herself, decided that she would rather have the shower on Sunday so she booked it without talking with the other bridesmaids who have made plans for the bach. party and had tried many many times to contact without success her to coordinate dates and times.

My sister had the nerve to tell me I need to suck it up and just have the bach party the night before the shower which I have said many times I don't want to be hungover and sleep deprived for my shower since I don't get to see family but once a year!! She also told me I need to realize how much money I am expecting people to spend to participate in both which I am spending the most cause I am flying there and no said bach and shower were mandatory! She also says to me I don't understand why I am expecting to have a big bach party when there will only be 5 or 6 people and why can't we just hangout at mom's house lay around and drink.

I am so stressed with the wedding planning and now I am having to put with with my sister's drama. I don't think I am asking for too much, am I? I dont know what to do...

MsRtoMrsK Posted: Jul 11, 2011 10:16 AM

Re: VENT...sorry it's so long but I don't know what to do

You aren't asking much at all...your sister is the one that's being selfish and not listening to what you want. I wish there was something I could tell you to fix things...if your sister doesn't want to go out, ignore her and go out with your friends. Don't let others ruin your good time, even if she is your sister.

DANAnPATRICK Posted: Jul 11, 2011 10:28 AM

Re: VENT...sorry it's so long but I don't know what to do

Sounds like a case of the JEALOUS sister...Obviously instead of being happy for you and trying to make this the most amazing time of your life shes sucking all the enjoyment out of it because she herself is unhappy with the fact that you are the center of attention for right now.

Tell her to stop being a Debbie Downer

Lindsay14 Posted: Jul 11, 2011 10:34 AM

Re: VENT...sorry it's so long but I don't know what to do

I have a feeling that she is jealous. I am not one who likes to be the center of attention and am really just trying to pick a date that works for everyone. I have a lot of friends coming from Chicago and my family lives in southern IL.

I actually just had a long conversation with my aunt who just told me that she told my sister to get the date for Saturday all straightened out today. So I hope she does!!!

Nrauch8191 Posted: Jul 11, 2011 10:56 AM

Re: VENT...sorry it's so long but I don't know what to do

On top of issues with my FMIL, my sister is the exact same way. She is my MOH and has never asked if she could do anything for me...

I have done the whole shower planning MYSELF.....

rosatemp Posted: Jul 11, 2011 10:57 AM

Re: VENT...sorry it's so long but I don't know what to do

Posted by DANAnPATRICK

Sounds like a case of the JEALOUS sister...Obviously instead of being happy for you and trying to make this the most amazing time of your life shes sucking all the enjoyment out of it because she herself is unhappy with the fact that you are the center of attention for right now.

Tell her to stop being a Debbie Downer

ITA

Lindsay14 Posted: Jul 11, 2011 11:19 AM

Re: VENT...sorry it's so long but I don't know what to do

Nrauch8191 - I guess I am lucky in some ways cause my sister did ask me about 5 times if she could plan my IL shower. She lives in IL so there isn't really much else she can help out with. I did not chose her as my MOH. I talked to her about it when I made my decision for my MOH and she understood. My mom told me she understood completely with why I didn't pick her.

Nrauch8191 Posted: Jul 11, 2011 11:27 AM

Re: VENT...sorry it's so long but I don't know what to do

Posted by Lindsay14

Nrauch8191 - I guess I am lucky in some ways cause my sister did ask me about 5 times if she could plan my IL shower. She lives in IL so there isn't really much else she can help out with. I did not chose her as my MOH. I talked to her about it when I made my decision for my MOH and she understood. My mom told me she understood completely with why I didn't pick her.

I wish I could change mine because everyone else asks what they can help with. She claims she has no time. She doesn't work but has a 7 and a 5 year old. The kids aren't babies anymore. Anyways, it's frustrating!!

msmontoute Posted: Jul 11, 2011 11:34 AM

Re: VENT...sorry it's so long but I don't know what to do

Hugs, so sorry it will be okay :)

LKatz1029 Posted: Jul 11, 2011 07:04 PM

Re: VENT...sorry it's so long but I don't know what to do

Welcome to the Selfish Sister Club! Don't stress, you'll be fine... but trust me I know how you feel in regards to your sister..... mine didnt even come to my shower (she lives in FL so I guess I understand, but she didnt come on purpose which is worse) AND she told me straight (on the phone) to my 'face', 'I'm not giving you a gift. I don't believe in showers, they are so degrading towards women.' --like she's a freakin feminist all of a sudden!!!!!!!!!!!
So, it could be worse! lol (sorry I just had to vent too!)