very dissapointed.......more on my dress... long vent

i wrote on tuesday of how my mom disliked my dress, but yesterday she finally realized its my dress... today she starts looking though the catalog and it saying how maybe spaghetti straps should be added onto it, and that it would be nice if there were more things on the dress..

yesterday after she realized its my dress i emailed my sister(matron of honor), a picture of me in the dress, and wrote in the email how she can pick whatever moh dress she likes, that i will be happy with anything(she supposedly was concerned about this)..

well my sister never emailed me back, which thought was weird cause i emailed it to her at work...MY MOM calls me up, saying that she talked to my sister and she doesnt like the dress, that she showed it to a couple of her coworkers and they didnt like it on me either..... so my mom is telling me maybe we can look at another bridal store, and now after not wanting to spend 600 on my dress is now willing to spend 900 on another dress if it will look better, she feels i dont look princess'y' in it...

so my sister and her coworkers.. they think that i look hippy in my dress, that the flap part on the bottom does nothing for me * really the flap part helps hide my hippyness that i had in other dresses...

im very frustrated and upset now cause my sister is suppose to be my moh and she cant even email me back, or call me and tell me this, she has to tell my mom how its a bad dress...

my sister is married and theres a good chance that she may be jealous of the wedding plans . when she got married she got the $350 dress, and now mines going to be 600...she had a smaller hall(then when my family tried the food at my hall she didnt like much of the food and was silent alot).. and the food was VERY good there...
she picked video and favors the week of the wedding,
now i am having everything planned in advance, all my vendors researched and little ideas and i think that may be getting to her...

she really hasnt said much to me about the planning, and has kept silent alot.. my 2 bridesmaids are like 100x more happier and eager to hear any new updates... i just dissapointed cause i thought being my sister she would come to me, and say anything dirrectly to me..

***Editted to add. thank you to all the girls who were supportive of me when i posted my dress telling me that it was a good dress... it made it ALOT easier to tell my mom that thats the dress i want and thats it..

I am sorry they are putting you through this at what is supposed to be a happy time. Maybe just to appease them all you can go look at some other dresses. After looking at others, bring your mother back to the store where the one you want is and try it on for her again. Maybe she'll change her mind after seeing you in a few different styles.

I'm so sorry about all the trouble that you have having with your family. I think getting married is such a big event that it creates all sorts of weirdness every so often around family members.

I have a similar story but with a slightly different ending. I thought I saw THE DRESS at a salon in Chicago (where I live), well there was no way I was going to get it without my mom seeing it, talk about adding stress. Anyway it was part of truck show yadda yadda yadda, and I was trying to coordinate a trip to NYC where the dress would be a particular time for me to see with my mom.

Well my parents were coming to chicago for thanksgiving, and we went back to the salon to see another dress I liked. I was surprised to learn that the designer send 'the dress' there just for me to see it again. Yeah I'm all excited. Woohoo!! I first tried on a dress that my parents liked, and then I try on THE DRESS. I come out and my mom says 'it's ok', and the first thing my dad says is 'NO' just like that. NO. I couldn't believe it.

My parents also had the idea that the dress wasn't 'princessy enough'. That's the only time my dad has gone with us. They wanted to see me in a big ballgown that I'm too small to pull off. This wedding is just as important to them as it is to me, and I didn't want them to hate the dress I was going to wear that day, so I kept looking.

I ended up with another dress by the same designer that I saw in the NYC salon, and I love even more. Plus my mom loved it too, which make me feel even better. (And still not a ballgown :)

Just thought I'd share, sorry its sooo long.

Emily, I can not believe your family is being so mean to you, my goodness, you are the one who will wear the dress and who has to love it. YOU not them.
If you love the dress, don't listen to anyone but your own heart.
I saw the pic and I thought you looked beautiful in it.

Good Luck with your decision but know we are here to listen anytime.

I had a similar experience. I found this Amsale dress that I LOVED!! While everyone else did not hate it (or so they said), no one liked it. I was really devastated.

Consequently, I kept looking. I am happy to say that I found an even more amazing dress!! If you have the time (which you do), keep looking. There is no harm to it.

I also think it is one thing if a person does not like a dress, but it is even worse when they don't think it flatters you. Sometimes it is important to listen to the people who are closest to you because they can be the most honest.

During this whole process, my mom said, 'Don't worry, there is no way we will ever let you look anything short of amazing.' So I knew that I should listen to their opinion. With that being said, if you truly love it, get it.

Just out of curiosity, how many dresses have you seen?

thank you all for the support..

even before the dress shopping i knew my family would dislike what i picked, i just was hoping the would be happy for me and stop acting the way they usually do...

im so glad to have people on here who support my decision, after years of my family trying to push what they want its nice to have people backing me up!

i tried on 5 dresses...all completely different styles...3 were bad, 1 was ok, and the one i want i actually feel princessy in...
i did not like any of the other dresses on the rack when i saw them...

let me explain that my mom is showing me pictures of what she thinks would be better.. they completley the opposite of what i picked.. she REALLY wants me wearing long sleeves and is hung up on it..

I would love to say screw what your family thinks because its your wedding and do what you want, but I know that if I was in the same situation, I would have a hard time with it. My family's oppinion is important to me and I would be crushed if my mom and sister had been the same way.
I think you should go and try on a few with your mom there and then go back and try on the one you love. I'm sure your face will just glow when you put it on and hopefully she'll be able to see for herself how beautiful you look in it. Good luck!

so im suppose to go there on monday and meet my mother and sister...

i think ill try on some of the dresses i know i dont look as good in.. then try on MY dress ... i just realized it would be a good idea to have my bridesmaid go and then id have her to help me with my dresses again, and to have support... whether or not my mom/sister like the dress it is being bought on monday!

My mom was amazingly difficult about my desire for a strapless dress. There was one dress online that she loved so much, and she called me at work. That dress will hereafter be known as 'The Rachie-I-Love-it'.

So we started shopping at this little salon in my hometown area where they were having a trunk show. I told the attendant about the dilemma, and she was very accomodating. The first dress I tried on was from the trunk show, and the designer came in and met with us. He calmed my mom's concerns about strapless dresses. As lovely as that dress was, we didn't get it, but I am very greatful to that designer (Matthew Christopher) for calming her.

We went to David's next (where we ended up getting my dress), and I showed mom 'The Rachie-I-Love-it'. She saw it, and said, 'No, that isn't the dress for you. You'll look much better in something else.' And we ended up getting my dress about 2 gowns later.

It's possible that your Mom and Sister will come around when they see how happy you are in your dress. ::hugs:: Good luck!!!!!

I am sorry sorry that you are being treated this way. Definetly bring you BM's along w/ you the next time you try on the gown. I would highly recommed trying on other styles as well so that you compare them to YOUR dress. Also, make sure the seamstress is there so that she may properly pin the dress to show your mother and sister what it will really look like when it is altered.

Remember this is YOUR DAY and YOUR DRESS. Do what YOU think is right. Years from now you don't want to look at your pics and have ANY regrets.

Explain to your mom and sis that although you appreciate their advice, you also want their support. Even if they disagree or dislike, they need to realize that this is about what you want and not what they want. They had their day and now it's yours.

I am so sorry you are going through this. I want to tell you to F*CK them, but I know how hard it can be. Only you can decide if it is 'the dress'. I know I had 4 or 5 of 'the dress'. In the end, I asked my mom and my sister to come with me, separately.

I am so sorry that you are being put through this!!!

I'm having a hard enough time as it is finding my gown and if I had this problem with my mom I'd never find a dress. Although, her and my MOH aren't that much help because they don't have the same vision for me as I do.

Anyway, I would talk to your sister before jumping to conclusions about whether or not she likes the dress on you. You know how mothers can be....

I also want to say forget them, get the dress YOU want but it's true that the opinions of the people closest to you really matter. I think I missed your thread where you posted your gown -- I'm going to look for it and then FM you.

Emily I loved the dress on you. If its the dress get it. If you don't im afraid you might be upset on your day everything Should and WILL be perfect. Its not there wedding!!!!!

i'm so sorry emily!!
it one thing not to like a dress and honestly tell you that...but to insult you on top of that is just wrong.
i think your sister may be jealous.....don't let them get to you!
good luck!

Just remember it is your day!!!!!!!

You should wear whatever makes you comfortable and the he** with everyone else!