Very emmotional right now

I don't undertand what is WRONG with me. I can't seem to get the discipline back that I used to have within myself. I was going to the gym working out and trying to eat healthy. Then I fell off track again. It's been 3 weeks since I have been back at the gym. It's effecting my relationship with FH bc it seems real important to him that I lose weight. Not just for the wedding but as a healthy way of life. He is mad b/c he does not think that I WANT to lose the weight. I DO it's just that it pisses me off when he says his comments. I start thinking.. ok if he really loved me for me why is he SO concerned with me losing weight. I am not overweight.. I don't think.. I am 142 and I'm 5'4' but I was 125 when I first met him. I just feel all these emmotions right now.. mad, sad,, I am mad b/c he is getting so bothered by me not being on a strict schedule to lose the weight and honestly it just makes me feel WORSE. UGH.... I just want to scream! I am not even talking to him right now. He went into the living room and now we are both pissed at eachother..... I am writing this to reach out.. I feel sooo depressed right now.

Please don't feel badly about your weight. If you are happy with your weight, then that's all that matters. Don't let your FH bug you about it-tell him he needs to lose weight and to start working out. I was twenty pounds lighter when we first met and FH loves me with more weight-my a$$ is bigger! I like me how I am and I don't give a rats a$$ what others think anyway! Cheer up!

im so sorry that you feel that way - but i think everyone goes in cycles with their diet and fitness plans - i am sure you will get motivated and start up again soon

as for FH - maybe he is just trying to support you in your goals but doesnt know how to do it without being pushy. . . just try to focus on what you want to do for yourself

i really dont think that you are overweight!! dont make yourself feel guilty for not working out or falling off track - it happens to EVERYONE that is why there are a BILLION diet and exercise plans out there

I am so sorry you are so upset. We all get disappointed with ourselves at times. I have the same problem and believe it or not I am just about the same size as well - so if I say so myself - you are not overweight! Sure it would be nice to be smaller but we are definitely not overweight. Where our paths diverge is that my FH thinks I am skinny & beautiful just the way I am. I wish your FH was more supportive. And how could he think you don't want to lose weight? Doesn't he realize that he's only putting more pressure on you and making things worse?

I think you should tell him nicely it is something you want to work on but his approach to the subject is just making matters worse. For yourself, I would just take a deep breath and drag yourself back to the gym - you will be glad you did! I find that once I start going back its easier to keep going - once I break the routine altogether it feels impossible to get back into. And believe me - I don't love going to the gym - I just love the way I feel about myself (inside & out) when I do work out.

Good luck to you! And remember - he should be marrying you in fat pants or skinny pants!


You are not alone!!

Thanks..the thing is.. he is skinny.. he's 6'0 tall and he weighs about 185. He could use some more toning in his chest.. but I don't bug him about it! It is really bothering me that he is acting this way. He's like I don't want you to be 200 pounds in the future. What is his freakin deal?

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Posted by mrszg2be

Don't even let him start in on your weight. That's really not his concern, Unless it is a health risk. I'm also 5'4 but 150 . I have gained weight since I first met my FH. But he never got mad at me because I wasn;t losing weight fast enough! I had a baby Aug 04. It is hard to lose weight. Nip that in the bud with FH NOW! He should be suppporting you. Not stressing you! What would he do after you have your first child together. You will gain weight again. Why is weight such a issue with him? Keep your head up!

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Honestly.. I am crying right now.. I'm in tears b.c I can't figure out why this is such an issue with him. You are right, how is he going to act when I get pregnant and gain it back once I lose it? This is what's really scaring me! I am really having doubts tonight about the future I have to say... It's this attitude of his that I am seeing now that is really giving me doubts..I wish he would stop this.

We are who we are, we all cant be tall and skinny and have perfect bodies. Sometimes you may fall off track, but I dont think FH should be on your case about it b/c you arent losing weight fast enough, that isnt really fair of him

When I first met FH I had been at WW goal weight for a little over a year. That ring went on my finger and all of a sudden it weighs 20 pounds! (almost where I was when I started WW).

I am very disappointed in myself. I have been unable to get it back under control - despite my dress not fitting properly and my mother making a not so flattering comment about how I looked in it compared to when it was ordered.

YOU are the only person that can put forth the effort, the will power or the desire - tell FH to back the f**k off!

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Posted by mrszg2be

I could only tell you that. The more confidence you show in yourself. The more accepting you are of yourself. He will have to love or leave you alone. Meaning if he sees that you are taking care of yourself. Looking good(big or small) He'll have to say to himself. 'hey she loves herself, either I go along with this program or get off'

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WOW you are absolutely on point.

Thanks girls you all are making me feel better right now. I appreciate all of you.

Maybe you guys can work out together?

DH and I wake up every morning and go hiking or do weights together - it gives us extra time to spend together even if we are exhausted, and I also know my workout is 'done' for the day in case I cant go to kick boxing at night...

Tell him - it looks like it means a lot to you, so lets do it together!


Also -tell him no more crap allowed in the house - if he wants to eat junk - he casn eat it outside - AND only healthy salads for dinner - lets see how comitted he is to your weight loss!!!

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Posted by ant n tilde

im so sorry that you feel that way - but i think everyone goes in cycles with their diet and fitness plans - i am sure you will get motivated and start up again soon

as for FH - maybe he is just trying to support you in your goals but doesnt know how to do it without being pushy. . . just try to focus on what you want to do for yourself

i really dont think that you are overweight!! dont make yourself feel guilty for not working out or falling off track - it happens to EVERYONE that is why there are a BILLION diet and exercise plans out there

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I have to agree with Ant n tilde....I think that he may think that he is helping by trying to push you b/c he may think that it is what you want. It is possible that he is just not sure of how to express himself in a way that doesn't sound negative. Talk to him....give him the benefit of the doubt. No one knows your body better than you (no matter what our men say) and you will go at your own pace and find what works for you. Don't be sad
You are beautiful and if you want to make some changes, then you will. Try reminding your FH to be supportive rather than judgemental. Sometimes guys forget that we can be sensitive when it comes to that specific topic. I personally know that I am very senstive when it comes to my body. We are here for you

He needs to stop acting like a total jerk. Its one thing for him to encourage you and want you to be healthy, but totally another for him to make you feel like you are fat.
When I tell my DH I think I am fat, he tells me that I am beautiful and sexy.
His attitude towards you is wrong. It will lead to problems and you having a very negative self image. You need to tell him to back off and how he is making you feel. Even if you did weigh 200lbs he should love you just the same as if you weighed 125 lbs!!

Thanks again ladies! I am going to talk to him about this tomorrow I am just too tired to deal with him tonight. You girls are so sweet and helpful!

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Posted by BellaEyes

Thanks..the thing is.. he is skinny.. he's 6'0 tall and he weighs about 185. He could use some more toning in his chest.. but I don't bug him about it! It is really bothering me that he is acting this way. He's like I don't want you to be 200 pounds in the future. What is his freakin deal?

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I feel like you are describing me and my FI exactly. I am 5'4 and last January (05) I hit my high of 150. It was then I knew I needed to do something. My FI was also very 'encouraging' if you want to call it that...but I do the same to him when he put on 10 lbs. Now I weight 132 and want to loose 4 more pounds before the wedding. Hang in there and try to take his comments as an 'encouragement'. You will loose with weight..try to think positive.

FM me if you need to talk.

Weight is very difficult. And you shouldn't let FH make you feel bad. Men's bodies and women's bodies are two TOTALLY different ball games! He can't even begin to understand what it is like to have YOUR body.

Seriously, you need to sit down and tell him that you are working on YOUR body, and that HE needs to support you, and it needs to be positive support, not nagging support or derisive 'support'.

You will look amazing on your wedding day, and in the way that stress takes weight off people, some people also gain weight when they are stressed, so tell him not to add to your stress level!

MEN!