Very hard topic..need advice please.....(mini update)
Thanks again everyone...
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Very hard topic..need advice please.....(mini update)
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Re: Very hard topic..need advice please.....
You and your father will be in my thoughts and prayers. I wish I had some sage words of advice for you that would make everything right. I'm sure your dad would not want you to put your life on hold. Do what feels right to you.
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Re: Very hard topic..need advice please.....
I am so sorry to hear that this is all happening to you.
I think the best advise that I can give you is to go with your heart. Try to figure out what you and your Fh want to do and stick with that - everyone is always going to have something to say
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Re: Very hard topic..need advice please.....
Here is a good story.
A few yeasr ago my grandmother was in poor health, but my uncle had planned a trip to Alaska. The trip had been booked, paid for an planned on 6 month prior. My grandma was in good helth when the trip was booked.
He spoke to my mom and my aunt (they are brothers/sisters) They all decided that if anything should happen my uncle should go on the trip.
Yes, its a similat situation, but not EXACTLY the same.
The moral: They all decided that he only had to answer to 2 people. My mom and aunt. They said go.
YOU only have to answer to 2 people. Your mom and dad. They BOTh said 'Do the wedding.'
Do the wedding and screw everyone else. YOU dont have to answer to anyone. Your sisters, NO ONE. Your parents said do it.
Thats all I would need.
And your sisters have no say. Im sorry they feel bad, and think you should stop your life. But its YOUR decision, NOT theirs. They dont like it, too bad!!!
(you can tell im fired up about this)
Honestly, if your parents say to go foreward that is all you need. Dont thik about how your decision makes your sisters feel...think about how THIER actions are affecting YOU! They dont care they are making you feel bad.They think that THIER feelings are more important thatn theirs.
Well, they are not.
You have your parents blessing so take that blessing and soar with it.
I will be praying for your dad...you are in my thoughts!
A few yeasr ago my grandmother was in poor health, but my uncle had planned a trip to Alaska. The trip had been booked, paid for an planned on 6 month prior. My grandma was in good helth when the trip was booked.
He spoke to my mom and my aunt (they are brothers/sisters) They all decided that if anything should happen my uncle should go on the trip.
Yes, its a similat situation, but not EXACTLY the same.
The moral: They all decided that he only had to answer to 2 people. My mom and aunt. They said go.
YOU only have to answer to 2 people. Your mom and dad. They BOTh said 'Do the wedding.'
Do the wedding and screw everyone else. YOU dont have to answer to anyone. Your sisters, NO ONE. Your parents said do it.
Thats all I would need.
And your sisters have no say. Im sorry they feel bad, and think you should stop your life. But its YOUR decision, NOT theirs. They dont like it, too bad!!!
(you can tell im fired up about this)
Honestly, if your parents say to go foreward that is all you need. Dont thik about how your decision makes your sisters feel...think about how THIER actions are affecting YOU! They dont care they are making you feel bad.They think that THIER feelings are more important thatn theirs.
Well, they are not.
You have your parents blessing so take that blessing and soar with it.
I will be praying for your dad...you are in my thoughts!
Member since
Re: Very hard topic..need advice please.....
I'm sorry you have to make this decision.
I honestly wouldn't let your sisters influence you. Your mom and dad want you to keep the date and so you should keep it.
Eight years ago, right after 9/11 there was a story on the news about Mayor Giuliani walking a girl down the aisle. It turns out that the girl had lost her dad and brother that year (both firemen but not as a result of 9/11).. Well you know how stories get twisted..My mom heard the story and told me that her brother and father died in the world trade center. Meanwhile her wedding was either the Saturday after 9/11 or two Saturdays later. I remember saying...wow her brother and father both suddenly died and she didn't postpone the wedding? And my mom made a good point about how marriage is a sacrament (she got married in a church) and that basically that's what the wedding is ...celebrating a sacrament.
HTH
I honestly wouldn't let your sisters influence you. Your mom and dad want you to keep the date and so you should keep it.
Eight years ago, right after 9/11 there was a story on the news about Mayor Giuliani walking a girl down the aisle. It turns out that the girl had lost her dad and brother that year (both firemen but not as a result of 9/11).. Well you know how stories get twisted..My mom heard the story and told me that her brother and father died in the world trade center. Meanwhile her wedding was either the Saturday after 9/11 or two Saturdays later. I remember saying...wow her brother and father both suddenly died and she didn't postpone the wedding? And my mom made a good point about how marriage is a sacrament (she got married in a church) and that basically that's what the wedding is ...celebrating a sacrament.
HTH
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Re: Very hard topic..need advice please.....
Very sorry for what you are experiencing. If you want to do it then you should. Not too sound harsh but if you postpone the wedding because they are pressuring you, you're father may pass away and not be here to share your day with you - which then you may regret in the end - it depends what you feel is right. HTH![]()
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Re: Very hard topic..need advice please.....
I am so sorry about your father. I really hope he has more than that. But honestly I think he would be happy to see you getting married
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Re: Very hard topic..need advice please.....
I'm really sorry to hear about your dad. I would just go with your gut feeling. Both your parents said to go ahead with it, then at least you have your blessing. Your sisters have no say in this. Hope everything works out and my prayers are with you and your family.
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Re: Very hard topic..need advice please.....
I'm so sorry that you're going through this ![]()
I agree with the girls above that your father would want you to get married, but ultiamately it's your decision.
I'll keep you in my prayers.![]()
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I agree with the girls above that your father would want you to get married, but ultiamately it's your decision.
I'll keep you in my prayers.
Member since
Re: Very hard topic..need advice please.....
I am sorry you are going through this, but if you want to go on with the wedding you should. I would not worry what your sisters say as long as your parents are okay with it especially since you said you are not close with them.
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Re: Very hard topic..need advice please.....
I lost my mom last year and we struggled with whether or not we should move the wedding up....we were even thinking of getting married in a small ceremony at the house and then go through with the big wedding as planned... we did neither and I have to say I WISH we did do something so my mom could have seen me get married.
So I would say either move it up to assure he will be well enough and there to see you or just go through with it as planned. I regret not doing the small ceremony with my mom every day so don't push it off or push off the big wedding and do something small with just family and then do the big wedding later.
I am sorry you have to deal with this...it is never easy...my prayers are with you!
So I would say either move it up to assure he will be well enough and there to see you or just go through with it as planned. I regret not doing the small ceremony with my mom every day so don't push it off or push off the big wedding and do something small with just family and then do the big wedding later.
I am sorry you have to deal with this...it is never easy...my prayers are with you!
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Re: Very hard topic..need advice please.....
so sorry to hear about fh's loss and your devastating news ![]()
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honestly, i dont think id be able to plan a wedding with all of that going on, i would want to spend every moment with my family, jmo, i would postpone the wedding. its totally up to you though
honestly, i dont think id be able to plan a wedding with all of that going on, i would want to spend every moment with my family, jmo, i would postpone the wedding. its totally up to you though
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Re: Very hard topic..need advice please.....
It really means a lot with all the replies and FM's from everyone..Thank you!
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Re: Very hard topic..need advice please.....
sorry to hear this, it is horrible news but i do not believe you should postpone your wedding....if your father only has a short time left with you, wouldn't he want to be with you and to know that his daughter is getting married...talk with him and see what he says...i don't think he will want you to just stop your plans just like that, i would think he would want to try to see it through
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Re: Very hard topic..need advice please.....
I'm sorry you have to go through this. I wish your dad the best. ![]()
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Postponing the wedding won't change anything. I think a wedding will actually lighten up the mood.
Postponing the wedding won't change anything. I think a wedding will actually lighten up the mood.
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Re: Very hard topic..need advice please.....
Posted by lucamon
I'm sorry you have to go through this. I wish your dad the best.![]()
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Postponing the wedding won't change anything. I think a wedding will actually lighten up the mood.
ITA - knowing that you are continuing your plans w/the wedding may give your father a reason to fight for as long as he can. It's strange how the power of positive thinking can change someone. There have been ppl who have been diagnosed w/cancer & kept telling themselves they would get better, and they did....hopefully by your father knowing he needs to be there for your special day he will find the strength to do so. This is a very most difficult time & you & your family are in my prayers...God Bless!
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Re: Very hard topic..need advice please.....
I am so sorry for your situation. Do whats in your heart.....drown out the other peoples voices, just hear your inner voice and you will figure out what decision is right for you.....go on as planned, or postpone, or do something even sooner.
Im sure you will be in many prayers as will your parents.
Im sure you will be in many prayers as will your parents.
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Re: Very hard topic..need advice please.....
I'm not really sure what your post is about since I came on late, but from what the other girls wrote i can only assume it is a similar situation as to what I am going through . . .
My dad was diagnosed with cancer about 2 years ago. He had a huge crazy surgery, spent a week in the intensive care unit and was cancer free for a year. They found some spots on his lungs, but after chemo he was okay again . . .
My dad had been complaining about a sore leg for a week, 2 weeks ago . . . so last Saturday my mom brought him to the hospital to see what was up. It turns out there is a mass on his leg. While it is not confirmed, and won’t be until tomorrow, we all fear that we know what it is . . .
Upon hearing this news I cried and cried, and I really didn’t know what to do. I talked to my parents and they both want me to not postpone my wedding. While the thought of him not being there absolutely kills me, I keep thinking about what would happen if because I postponed it he wasn’t able to be there. Because of this I decided to keep my wedding date the same and hope for the best.
I hope everything is okay with you and if you ever need to talk please feel free to FM me . . . <3
As a side note, when I was talking to my parents my mom told me that they postponed their wedding when my grandpa got sick, and afterwards they were so devastated he wouldn’t be there they just had a small city hall type thing . . . and they have regretted it ever since.
My dad was diagnosed with cancer about 2 years ago. He had a huge crazy surgery, spent a week in the intensive care unit and was cancer free for a year. They found some spots on his lungs, but after chemo he was okay again . . .
My dad had been complaining about a sore leg for a week, 2 weeks ago . . . so last Saturday my mom brought him to the hospital to see what was up. It turns out there is a mass on his leg. While it is not confirmed, and won’t be until tomorrow, we all fear that we know what it is . . .
Upon hearing this news I cried and cried, and I really didn’t know what to do. I talked to my parents and they both want me to not postpone my wedding. While the thought of him not being there absolutely kills me, I keep thinking about what would happen if because I postponed it he wasn’t able to be there. Because of this I decided to keep my wedding date the same and hope for the best.
I hope everything is okay with you and if you ever need to talk please feel free to FM me . . . <3
As a side note, when I was talking to my parents my mom told me that they postponed their wedding when my grandpa got sick, and afterwards they were so devastated he wouldn’t be there they just had a small city hall type thing . . . and they have regretted it ever since.
Member since
Re: Very hard topic..need advice please.....
I didn't see this original post, but I can somewhat guess what you said.
I am SO sorry for what you are going through, and you need to go with the decision that you feel is right. I think you should go on with your wedding, so that your Dad can be there.
I am SO sorry for what you are going through, and you need to go with the decision that you feel is right. I think you should go on with your wedding, so that your Dad can be there.
Member since
Re: Very hard topic..need advice please.....
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Posted by Carolann
I'm not really sure what your post is about since I came on late, but from what the other girls wrote i can only assume it is a similar situation as to what I am going through . . .
My dad was diagnosed with cancer about 2 years ago. He had a huge crazy surgery, spent a week in the intensive care unit and was cancer free for a year. They found some spots on his lungs, but after chemo he was okay again . . .
My dad had been complaining about a sore leg for a week, 2 weeks ago . . . so last Saturday my mom brought him to the hospital to see what was up. It turns out there is a mass on his leg. While it is not confirmed, and won’t be until tomorrow, we all fear that we know what it is . . .
Upon hearing this news I cried and cried, and I really didn’t know what to do. I talked to my parents and they both want me to not postpone my wedding. While the thought of him not being there absolutely kills me, I keep thinking about what would happen if because I postponed it he wasn’t able to be there. Because of this I decided to keep my wedding date the same and hope for the best.
I hope everything is okay with you and if you ever need to talk please feel free to FM me . . . <3
As a side note, when I was talking to my parents my mom told me that they postponed their wedding when my grandpa got sick, and afterwards they were so devastated he wouldn’t be there they just had a small city hall type thing . . . and they have regretted it ever since.
huggy:
