THIS is the reason why you should all splurge the extra $30 & order 2 sets of RSVP cards with different dates if you think you're having an A & a B list. People on the B list do not need to KNOW they are on the B list.
I got this email today & its hard not to be offended. I understand where she is coming from but save yourselves the embarrassment of having to write an email like this to someone.
(And yes, they attended our wedding a few weeks ago.) ______________________________ Hello My Dearest Lady Caroline! First - I really hope you do not perceive me as being a tacky friend that you hardly get to see - UGH. I know we are at different phases in our life but that does not mean that I don't think the world of you. I know you've got a new baby, a new hubby, a new neighborhood and a horrid commute - so you've got a lot going on and I understand....I'm also wondering how my summer became so swamped with commitment after commitment. I feel a little disconnected from my friends this summer. Anyway, getting on to what I REALLY want to say - I promise you with all my mushy heart that you are not 2nd tier BUT Todd has a huge F-ing family that hogged up our invite list. So needless to say, please just ignore 'Respond by July 1'when you get our invite and pretend you didn't notice the RSVP date. More importantly, please do not be offended - you're not the only one we had to wait on. I hope you and Rob understand and I hope you two can make our Big Humongous Stress Fest on 9/22 ( just kidding - it's all good - no stress) though I truly understand if you have a ton of stuff going on !! Luv, me
cookiemonster
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Re: VERY Important Advice re: Invitations
Eeesh. You can tell by that email that she is very embarrassed, but wow, that is awkward. I wouldn't know quite what to think if I were you. This is great advice!
ChristineAaron08
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Re: VERY Important Advice re: Invitations
This is a very good tip. I couldn't bear to send an e-mail like this to someone
So, are you going?? haha
lhuqueen
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Re: VERY Important Advice re: Invitations
Funny I'm saving this e-mail for my B-listers. It's really nice!!!! I thought of that option and I completely forgot to do it. But def worth it!!
futuremrsfab
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Re: VERY Important Advice re: Invitations
thanks for the suggestion- i never would have thought of that.
trza17
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Re: VERY Important Advice re: Invitations
Exactly the reason I am not having a B list.
bigrd37
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Re: VERY Important Advice re: Invitations
i never thought of 2 RSVPs! good idea! though i'm not sure how many b-listers i'll really have or will have to invite.
i can't believe that email. i would have been embarrassed to send it. though, i would have just sent the invite and ignored the rest!!
MegBert
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Re: VERY Important Advice re: Invitations
how embarrassing...eeek I would say NO
Licee15
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No words...Sorry.
kates
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Re: VERY Important Advice re: Invitations
Thanks for the idea. I don;t think that I would have thought of it.
luna bride x
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holy crap! that is SOOOOO awkward!
Kara and Todd
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Re: VERY Important Advice re: Invitations
I think the email makes the late invite even worse! I'd definitely respond 'no' to that invitation.
We had NO b-list and unfortunately several of our invitations were returned. I'm horrified that some people think they were B-list...
If you're planning to have a b-list, get your A-list invites out early and have a separate RSVP date for your B-list. You also need to make the call pretty early on if you're going to the backups.
We were able to invite everyone we wanted there, so we didn't plan on a b-list. Now, we're in serious danger of not coming anywhere near our minimum, but there's no B-list to invite. I'd rather pay for extra people that don't come than invite more people just to have warm bodies (or perhaps to get more gifts).
Though... I have heard that the LIW table is always an option if we're way below our minimum!
ksl268
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Re: VERY Important Advice re: Invitations
Instead of 2 sets of RSVP's just send out the first round a of invites earlier then planned. Then send out round 2 on schedule. This way you cover your a** and no one is embarassed.
tinadansr
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Re: VERY Important Advice re: Invitations
good advice..that is awkward!
ChrissynRicky
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Re: VERY Important Advice re: Invitations
To be honest...it's difficult to have two sets of RSVPs done b/c it does become costly if a bride is getting it done professionally. It's a lot for a printer (specifically raised lettering/thermography) b/c they have to set another screen for it. But, for the DIY'ers - great idea!
However, I wanted to state my personal opinion, and this is by no means meant to offend anyone.
I think she was honestly sincere in her email, and like other posters said embarrassed to even have to explain herself. However, I'm the type of person that doesn't look 'into' things like this too far b/c it's better than NOT being invited.
I've been on the 'B' list and have never taken it personally. Weddings are expensive, and it's tough to keep the guestlist under control when you have a large family (or a lot of close friends.)
Being invited to a wedding - whether an 'A' or 'B' lister is an honor no matter which way we cut it.
Being able to share in someone's special day is what matters, not whether there was room on the list, the bride/groom were questioning their 'friendship' or how 'close' the guest is to them....
Those guests that truly want to share in this special day will be there no matter how late they're invited.
Shorty McBride
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Re: VERY Important Advice re: Invitations
Posted by ksl268
Instead of 2 sets of RSVP's just send out the first round a of invites earlier then planned. Then send out round 2 on schedule. This way you cover your a** and no one is embarassed.
exactly!
FutureMrsRice
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Re: VERY Important Advice re: Invitations
WOW!!!!! How awkward......
adamluvsericka
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Re: VERY Important Advice re: Invitations
Actually, i didnt think the email was bad at all...i dont think I would feel bad if i was on a B-list - that's life sometimes and i would totally understand. i think she handled it well and you can certainly read into the tone of the email - she is a little embarressed, but she also sounds so apologetic, i don't think i could be mad at that, but then again I'm pretty easy-going. i guess depending on how strong you think your relationship is with her, I think you should go to the wedding, or at least consider it. just my opinion...
adamluvsericka
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Re: VERY Important Advice re: Invitations
totally agree
edit... this was in response to what ChrissynRicky said
Ann 52409
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Re: VERY Important Advice re: Invitations
That is embarrassing to have to call somebody and basically uninvite them. I never want to do that, if you are on the b list you dont want to know that you are on the Blist. I personally dont think I would go.
