tearing?? I am so scared of it and not too educated on it and it seems like there's not a whole lot out there on it. Most of the books I've read dismiss it in one sentence like 'some women tear and may need stitches'. I need a little more elaboration.
I know there are different 'degrees' of tearing but I don't know exactly what they are or what they entail.
How long does it take to heal? Does it hurt to use the bathroom afterward? Is it worse to tear or worse to have to be cut?
And what I really want to know is...does everything basically go back to the way it was or is it permanently 'damaged' or different?
Feel free to FM me if you don't want to post about this. Or tell me I'm gross and point me toward a website.
Claud2001
Posted:
Member since
Re: VERY TMI but can we please talk about...
You are not gross...this is a very realistic fear. The important thing to keep in mind is that there are things you CAN do to prevent tearing, or at least keep it to a minimum.
Bad tears happen when the Mom pushes the baby out much too fast. If your OB/midwife is good at 'coaching' your pushing stage, you have a better chance of not tearing. Also, it's important that you do rest between contractions and stop pushing...b/c each push helps the perineum (the area between vagina and anus) to stretch.
Another tactic is the try perineal massage...which is essentially massaging and gently stretching the perineum to prepare for the baby's head to crown (when tearing is most likely to occur). Perineal massage can be done in the weeks leading up to birth, OR during your actual labor...as you push, your OB/midwife could do some massage to help gently stretch the area. This is what my OB did for me, and I only had a minor tear with a pretty big baby (8lb. 11oz.).
As far as healing - yes, the worse the tear, the more difficult the recovery is. Personally, I don't believe it is better to be cut...b/c episiotomy is not necessary at all - a woman's body is made to be capable of birthing. In the case of a really bad, jagged tear...maybe a clean cut would be better...but again, the idea is to discuss this w/your practioner before labor and see if there are things you can do to prevent it.
HTH!
jillybean66
Posted:
Member since
Re: VERY TMI but can we please talk about...
I did not have any tears, but I just wanted to mention that my OB told me to push a specific way when it came time for the baby to come out - she told me that it would prevent the tearing...and it worked! Unfortunately I don't remember exactly what she told me to do...it was something like do a series of very small pushes as opposed to the 'count to 10' ones when the baby's head was right there until the head was completely out.
CathyB
Posted:
Member since
Re: VERY TMI but can we please talk about...
Please bear in mind that most women don't experience what I did. My labor was awful and I really don't want to go back to the same hospital with the next one. It's supposed to be one of the best in the area, so I'm still really puzzled why some things happened that did.
Anyhow, I was doing the count to 10 type of pushes and had a small episiomity and still tore severely. It was a 4th degree tear (the worse you can have), which means I tore from hole to hole. (Gross - it still upsets me to think of it)
I didn't want to know how many stiches it took to repair, but I know that the dr needed 6 suture kits to get it done. It was sore to sit or walk around for about 3 weeks. Acutally going to the bathroom wasn't bad at all, once I got over the fear of going. I was just afraid of popping stiches.
My dr 'can't explain' why I tore inspite of the episiomity. I think it's b/c the baby's head was halfway out on one push and the nurse had me stop b/c we'd reached 10 and my contraction ended, so she wanted me to wait to the next one. I was too tired to argue, but the thought of it now is really upsetting. Needless to say I'm looking for a new OB/GYN.
Emma2-22
Posted:
Member since
Re: VERY TMI but can we please talk about...
Just like clpunch I had a 4th degree tear. My Dr. had given me a small episiotomy but Mikey was a big boy with broad shoulders and I tore the rest of the way. It is exactly that 'Hole to hole' and it took a long time and alot of concentration on the Dr.s behalf to stitch me back up. My Dr. told me that besides the fact that it went all the way 'down there' it tore my muscle also so that is why she had to be precise in stitching me to make sure that the muscle would work properly afterwards. It took me a good 3-4 days before 'going' to the bathroom. I was scared of popping my stiches and just plain out being in any pain. But when you get an episiotomy or you tear they always give you stool softeners to avoid extra discomfort. As far as the healing process goes they normally recommend a 20 minute sitz bath a few times a day.
For what it's worth, when the Dr. gave me the episiotomy and through the actual tearing I was totally clueless of what was going on down there. I was so busy trying to get the baby out that I didn't notice any difference in the sensations that I was experiencing.
JENNCHRIS
Posted:
Member since
Re: VERY TMI but can we please talk about...
My son was 9lbs. 5 oz. (and his shoulders got stuck) and my daughter was 8 lbs. 10 oz. and with both I only needed 2 stitches, I didn't feel it when the Dr. gave them to me, nor did I really feel them afterwards, everything was sore down there ! Peripads were my best friend! It didn't hurt when I peed or anything, and I was not 'permanently damaged' and sex isn't any different than it was. It's perfectly normal to worry about these things I was soooo worried about everything with my first child that I think my body tensed up and my labor lasted 3 days, with my daughter I was more relaxed and I knew more of what to expect and I had her with a 6 hour labor ! and NO drugs
Claud2001
Posted:
Member since
Re: VERY TMI but can we please talk about...
This is just my humble opinion, but I think you guys tore so badly because of the episiotomies. The skin IS able to stretch down there, and by cutting into the skin, the doctors are themselves starting the tearing process. Episiotomies are not really recommended anymore...but unfortunately alot of OB's still use them. It has been proven that the perineum is not usually the reason for the baby getting 'stuck'...it is typically the pelvic bones...so, to cut through soft tissue does not solve the problem - it only creates another one. It makes the doctor's job easier [in delivering the baby], but it is worse for the Mom.
If you chose a midwife for your OB care, you would most likely never have been cut.
soon2bMrs
Posted:
Member since
Re: VERY TMI but can we please talk about...
I had this fear too. I had a small episiotomy. I don't know how many stitches but it was sore for a few days after the delivery. I too was afraid to go to the bathroom but it wasn't bad at all once I got over the fear. My 'under carriage' (As they say here in Ireland) was sore for about 1 week after delivery and now 3 weeks later I fell 100% back to normal. Although, DH and I haven't had sex yet (sorry if TMI).
Calla
Posted:
Member since
Re: VERY TMI but can we please talk about...
I dislike reading that it can be the mother's fault or within her doctor's control to prevent this from happening entirely. I'm sure thats not what was meant, but thats how it came across.
For the preggos on the board, I would like you to take the following from my experience: tears are just one of a hundred things that you cannot entirely control. If it happens, the doctors will sew you up and you'll be fine.
I was at a great hospital, with a great doctor and attentive nurses who were with me throughout labor. I got a 4th degree tear. I'm 5'2 with a small frame. My baby was over 9 pounds and came through the canal with her fist beside her face. No amount of massage or timing of pushes could have gotten her out without tearing. The diameter of her head and hand was simply wider than my body.
I have no idea how many stiches I had, but I know it took over an hour for three doctors to sew me up. I never felt more than uncomfortable, during the repairs or for the weeks after, never bad pain. (I'm now four weeks post delivery.) With the stool softeners going to the bathroom is no problem.
Remember -- a tear is an easier recovery than a c-section.
Nancy
Posted:
Member since
Re: VERY TMI but can we please talk about...
I ended up having to be cut. I pushed for over two hours and was swelling quite bad from pushing for that long. I was pushing correctly and everything was fine, it just took me that long. My OB and I had discussed it prior (which I highly recommend for any issue that may arise) and he doesn't do them unless absolutely necessary. He told me he may have to and apologized the whole time during delivery and after. Even the next day. I had a 4th degree and honestly, I think it just depends on you. I know most people said it took them a long time to recover and I had no problems. I was up and about right away. My recovery was nothing to me and I guess I was lucky.
Karacg
Posted:
Member since
Re: VERY TMI but can we please talk about...
Sandra - Thank you so much for asking this question!! It is still early for me but is one of the things I worry about.
And thank you ladies who replied for being so honest. It's great to be informed - even if everyone's experience is different I guess it lets us know just that -- there are so many possibilities. I will be sure to discuss this with my Dr. when the time comes.
And to those who have or still are suffering,...
JimmysBride
Posted:
Member since
Re: VERY TMI but can we please talk about...
Yes!! Thank you ladies SO much for replying and sharing your experiences!! You have all been very informative and very helpful, and have even eased my fears a little.
Butterflybride
Posted:
Member since
Re: VERY TMI but can we please talk about...
Just wanted to say thanks also for posting this. This has been something I've been worrying about.
AJsMommy122
Posted:
Member since
Re: VERY TMI but can we please talk about...
I think I had the worst experiance when it came to this My MORON of a Dr. ( Who I would never go to again even if she was the last Dr. on the earth) did not give me an episiotomy even though my mom told her to do it a MILLION times while in the delivery room. She kept insisting that I didnt need it. But my mom saw that I did. Anyway I too got a 4th degree tear. I didn't feel it at the time ( gotta love those epidorals) but the next day I was in HORRIBLE pain. It what I went through in the next 2-3 weeks after giving birth was about 10 million x's worse then actually giving birth! It hurt soooo sooo bad when I would pee. I couldn't go #2 for I dont know how many days and when I finally did that was even worse. The stool softeners helped and some of the other things they gave me but I couldnt sit right, I walked funny, It hurt going up and down stairs. I was a MESS. I was in soooooo much pain that they put me on serious pain killers and that didnt even help. On top of it all since I was taking the pain killers I was afraid to breast feed b/c I was told some of it could transfer to my milk. I was beyond upset. By far the worst experiance of my life
