omg grls im so upset..i cant believe that no even because is my wedding i cant decide things....ON MY OWN WEDDING!!!!! let me start from the beginning.. my FH's parents have this friend which FH called aunt becuase they have been friends for so long, she pratically saw my FH be born. when she found out about the wedding, she offered herself to do the boxes for the favors and candies that are gonna be place on the tables. she just sent the boxes this week , when we are 6 days away from the wedding, and the boxes have to be ensemble ,. the boxes are plain white, nutting special and i dont really like them like that...so i decided to buy paper wrap and wrap them. i wrapped a couple and everyone liked them. however, My FH's mom told her and the woman flipped out. she got so mad about it, because she said that she took so much time, desgining them and we are gonna change wha she did. they are fck white boxes, how much thought can u put to make them?????so FH;s mom told me not to wrap them...so i have no say on it and cant wrap them. this is horrible, the only thing i really wanna decide , i cant...the whole wedding i have let FH's mom give her opinion , which meant decide a lot of stuff and i didnt mind, and now when i want to decide something i just cant at all, cuz i cant hurt the woman feelings, but what about me?? is my wedding i should be able to pick the stuff i like. The whole time, My fh's mom have tried to be controlling, and i didnt say anything cuz she is paying for most of it and i didnt mind, but now im tired of it and cant take it......thanks for reading, i know is kind of long, bu i really needed to vent.
UPDATE so i got into a fight w Fh cuz of this..he told me to just quitted it, but i cant....is not even about the boxes anymore.. is BOUT THE fact that i always listen to her mom advices and try to please(im too nice sometimes , plz someone smack me) and now she cant consider my opinion and freakin slap her friend for being so stupid...???? all Fh could say is that his mom doesnt wanna cause a big trouble with her friend.that they been friends for so long and y bother so much about the boxes???? i dont agreee p.s this woman is insane...
bluegreen08
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Re: very upset..need to vent!!!!
its your wedding.... and are they plain white boxes? what exactly did she do?
FutureMrsCarrieri
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Re: very upset..need to vent!!!!
she's upset about a plain white box? I say wrap them anyway.
melissatam2008
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Re: very upset..need to vent!!!!
Posted by FutureMrsCarrieri
she's upset about a plain white box? I say wrap them anyway.
thats what i want to do..im just so upset, i feel like crying, ..=( thsi whole thing got me so frustated already, my Fh's mom always want to decide and pick what she likes......,and now this, but this is too much alread..
FutureMrsCarrieri
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Member since
Re: very upset..need to vent!!!!
Posted by melissatam2008
Posted by FutureMrsCarrieri
she's upset about a plain white box? I say wrap them anyway.
thats what i want to do..im just so upset, i feel like crying, ..=( thsi whole thing got me so frustated already, my Fh's mom always want to decide and pick what she likes......,and now this, but this is too much alread..
listen, I don't know you but i feel like I have to say this. You absolutely MUST stand up for yourself. If you don't, things will only get worse. Before you know it she will be in your house picking your furniture and telling you how to raise your children. I understand that she paid for the wedding and you don't want to fight with her but making you feel like sh!t because you have an opinion is unacceptable. If this is what you want, be firm. It's a plain white box and it doesn't look good to you. So you are going to WRAP it. People will see the amazing plain white box when they unwrap it.
bensgirl
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Member since
Re: very upset..need to vent!!!!
Posted by FutureMrsCarrieri
Posted by melissatam2008
Posted by FutureMrsCarrieri
she's upset about a plain white box? I say wrap them anyway.
thats what i want to do..im just so upset, i feel like crying, ..=( thsi whole thing got me so frustated already, my Fh's mom always want to decide and pick what she likes......,and now this, but this is too much alread..
listen, I don't know you but i feel like I have to say this. You absolutely MUST stand up for yourself. If you don't, things will only get worse. Before you know it she will be in your house picking your furniture and telling you how to raise your children. I understand that she paid for the wedding and you don't want to fight with her but making you feel like sh!t because you have an opinion is unacceptable. If this is what you want, be firm. It's a plain white box and it doesn't look good to you. So you are going to WRAP it. People will see the amazing plain white box when they unwrap it.
i totally agree with this. in fact, i think you should just do what you want and don't worry about other people's reactions. they will get over it. they will have to! no matter who is paying for the wedding, it is still YOUR wedding--it is a day for you and your FH!!
can you tie ribbons around the boxes? we used plain white favor boxes but used colored ribbon and a monogram sticker and they looked really cute....could you do something like that?
i really sympathize with your stress right now....i went through a BUNCH of drama right before our wedding, but when your day comes, just focus on FH and everything will be amazing!!
Gigi08
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Member since
Re: very upset..need to vent!!!!
Wow! People just never cease to amaze me. That's why I am so glad I am paying for my own wedding...I would never tolerate that!! People need to get over themselves. I understand you trying to keep peace, but there comes a point where enough is enough. It is YOUR wedding...you should be able to have some input. It seems to become more about control I find with a lot of people. I'm sorry, I don't care who this woman is to them...she should not even be involved...period. I'm just a little confused though...they're just plain white gift boxes? What is the problem then...what is special about them? I agree, at some point, you will have to assert yourself if your FMIL continues to dominate things that go on in your life. I feel for you though, because I know it's not easy.
Gigi08
Posted:
Member since
Re: very upset..need to vent!!!!
Posted by bensgirl
Posted by FutureMrsCarrieri
Posted by melissatam2008
Posted by FutureMrsCarrieri
she's upset about a plain white box? I say wrap them anyway.
thats what i want to do..im just so upset, i feel like crying, ..=( thsi whole thing got me so frustated already, my Fh's mom always want to decide and pick what she likes......,and now this, but this is too much alread..
listen, I don't know you but i feel like I have to say this. You absolutely MUST stand up for yourself. If you don't, things will only get worse. Before you know it she will be in your house picking your furniture and telling you how to raise your children. I understand that she paid for the wedding and you don't want to fight with her but making you feel like sh!t because you have an opinion is unacceptable. If this is what you want, be firm. It's a plain white box and it doesn't look good to you. So you are going to WRAP it. People will see the amazing plain white box when they unwrap it.
i totally agree with this. in fact, i think you should just do what you want and don't worry about other people's reactions. they will get over it. they will have to! no matter who is paying for the wedding, it is still YOUR wedding--it is a day for you and your FH!!
can you tie ribbons around the boxes? we used plain white favor boxes but used colored ribbon and a monogram sticker and they looked really cute....could you do something like that?
i really sympathize with your stress right now....i went through a BUNCH of drama right before our wedding, but when your day comes, just focus on FH and everything will be amazing!!
Great idea! I love the idea of really pretty ribbon with those stickers...that way her stupid white box is still showing, but it has your touch to it too! And, it would probably be easier than wrapping all of them.
FutureMrsCarrieri
Posted:
Member since
Re: very upset..need to vent!!!!
I know a 'FMIL' that was totally dominating her son's wedding and the bride was too afraid to stand up to her. FMIL even went so far to 'refuse' to allow the bride to pick her own flowers. So the bride's family finally had enough and they began to argue for the bride. The 'FMIL' was pissed but she got the message -- she couldn't have everything her way.
melissatam2008
Posted:
Member since
Re: very upset..need to vent!!!!
i know i gotta stand up, is just hard because my FMIl is all about drama and i dont wanna deal with that ...especially now that we r onyl 6 days away from the wedding..i got so much **** to do,...and this is goin on.. the boxes are plain white and now sent a ribbon to put on around but stilli dont like them and i might sound like a bridezilla but is my wedding...
mnd1202
Posted:
Member since
Re: very upset..need to vent!!!!
i say thank her but plain white is not goin to do anything, i would wrap them anyway and not tell anyone its your wedding
melissatam2008
Posted:
Member since
Re: very upset..need to vent!!!!
Posted by Gigi08
Posted by bensgirl
Posted by FutureMrsCarrieri
Posted by melissatam2008
Posted by FutureMrsCarrieri
she's upset about a plain white box? I say wrap them anyway.
thats what i want to do..im just so upset, i feel like crying, ..=( thsi whole thing got me so frustated already, my Fh's mom always want to decide and pick what she likes......,and now this, but this is too much alread..
listen, I don't know you but i feel like I have to say this. You absolutely MUST stand up for yourself. If you don't, things will only get worse. Before you know it she will be in your house picking your furniture and telling you how to raise your children. I understand that she paid for the wedding and you don't want to fight with her but making you feel like sh!t because you have an opinion is unacceptable. If this is what you want, be firm. It's a plain white box and it doesn't look good to you. So you are going to WRAP it. People will see the amazing plain white box when they unwrap it.
i totally agree with this. in fact, i think you should just do what you want and don't worry about other people's reactions. they will get over it. they will have to! no matter who is paying for the wedding, it is still YOUR wedding--it is a day for you and your FH!!
can you tie ribbons around the boxes? we used plain white favor boxes but used colored ribbon and a monogram sticker and they looked really cute....could you do something like that?
i really sympathize with your stress right now....i went through a BUNCH of drama right before our wedding, but when your day comes, just focus on FH and everything will be amazing!!
Great idea! I love the idea of really pretty ribbon with those stickers...that way her stupid white box is still showing, but it has your touch to it too! And, it would probably be easier than wrapping all of them.[/QUOTE
she sent some ribbons today , but it doesnt really makes a difference to me...they just dont look elegant..=(
bensgirl
Posted:
Member since
Re: very upset..need to vent!!!!
Posted by melissatam2008
i know i gotta stand up, is just hard because my FMIl is all about drama and i dont wanna deal with that ...especially now that we r onyl 6 days away from the wedding..i got so much **** to do,...and this is goin on.. the boxes are plain white and now sent a ribbon to put on around but stilli dont like them and i might sound like a bridezilla but is my wedding...
you don't sound like bridezilla!! if you'd rather have the boxes wrapped then you should seriously just do it! don't even tell anybody--they'll figure it out at the wedding and by then it's too late
if wrapping them is too much work right now, maybe there is something else you can do so that you really like them? do you have a pic? maybe we can help?
Gigi08
Posted:
Member since
Re: very upset..need to vent!!!!
Posted by melissatam2008
i know i gotta stand up, is just hard because my FMIl is all about drama and i dont wanna deal with that ...especially now that we r onyl 6 days away from the wedding..i got so much **** to do,...and this is goin on.. the boxes are plain white and now sent a ribbon to put on around but stilli dont like them and i might sound like a bridezilla but is my wedding...
Well, that's the thing...you have to decide if it's important enough to you to put your foot down, or just let it go to spare yourself the aggravation. I just find it very rude. If I offered to do something for someone, it would be important to me that they would be happy with what I was doing...'I' would run it past someone first and ask them to be honest with me. No, I don't think it's bridezilla because in a situation like this, it becomes more about the fact that you are being totally disregarded...not so much about the box anymore! Like I said, I feel for you. I guess you'll have to pick your battles...save it for something more important to get the message across to her.
Gigi08
Posted:
Member since
Re: very upset..need to vent!!!!
Posted by melissatam2008
Posted by Gigi08
Posted by bensgirl
Posted by FutureMrsCarrieri
Posted by melissatam2008
Posted by FutureMrsCarrieri
she's upset about a plain white box? I say wrap them anyway.
thats what i want to do..im just so upset, i feel like crying, ..=( thsi whole thing got me so frustated already, my Fh's mom always want to decide and pick what she likes......,and now this, but this is too much alread..
listen, I don't know you but i feel like I have to say this. You absolutely MUST stand up for yourself. If you don't, things will only get worse. Before you know it she will be in your house picking your furniture and telling you how to raise your children. I understand that she paid for the wedding and you don't want to fight with her but making you feel like sh!t because you have an opinion is unacceptable. If this is what you want, be firm. It's a plain white box and it doesn't look good to you. So you are going to WRAP it. People will see the amazing plain white box when they unwrap it.
i totally agree with this. in fact, i think you should just do what you want and don't worry about other people's reactions. they will get over it. they will have to! no matter who is paying for the wedding, it is still YOUR wedding--it is a day for you and your FH!!
can you tie ribbons around the boxes? we used plain white favor boxes but used colored ribbon and a monogram sticker and they looked really cute....could you do something like that?
i really sympathize with your stress right now....i went through a BUNCH of drama right before our wedding, but when your day comes, just focus on FH and everything will be amazing!!
Great idea! I love the idea of really pretty ribbon with those stickers...that way her stupid white box is still showing, but it has your touch to it too! And, it would probably be easier than wrapping all of them.[/QUOTE
she sent some ribbons today , but it doesnt really makes a difference to me...they just dont look elegant..=(
Aww. Yes, but what if YOU pick out some pretty ribbon that YOU like...again SHE sent it. Sorry...
Gigi08
Posted:
Member since
Re: very upset..need to vent!!!!
Posted by FutureMrsCarrieri
I know a 'FMIL' that was totally dominating her son's wedding and the bride was too afraid to stand up to her. FMIL even went so far to 'refuse' to allow the bride to pick her own flowers. So the bride's family finally had enough and they began to argue for the bride. The 'FMIL' was pissed but she got the message -- she couldn't have everything her way.
OMG, you've got to be kidding! Oh, absolutely not! Good for the bride's family.
melissatam2008
Posted:
Member since
Re: very upset..need to vent!!!!
Posted by Gigi08
Posted by melissatam2008
i know i gotta stand up, is just hard because my FMIl is all about drama and i dont wanna deal with that ...especially now that we r onyl 6 days away from the wedding..i got so much **** to do,...and this is goin on.. the boxes are plain white and now sent a ribbon to put on around but stilli dont like them and i might sound like a bridezilla but is my wedding...
Well, that's the thing...you have to decide if it's important enough to you to put your foot down, or just let it go to spare yourself the aggravation. I just find it very rude. If I offered to do something for someone, it would be important to me that they would be happy with what I was doing...'I' would run it past someone first and ask them to be honest with me. No, I don't think it's bridezilla because in a situation like this, it becomes more about the fact that you are being totally disregarded...not so much about the box anymore! Like I said, I feel for you. I guess you'll have to pick your battles...save it for something more important to get the message across to her.
thats what i think too. this woman is mad at it, but if she doing a favor for us and she offered herself because she wanted to make us happy...shouldnt she consider my opinion and try to please me ???
melissatam2008
Posted:
Member since
Re: very upset..need to vent!!!!
Posted by bensgirl
Posted by melissatam2008
i know i gotta stand up, is just hard because my FMIl is all about drama and i dont wanna deal with that ...especially now that we r onyl 6 days away from the wedding..i got so much **** to do,...and this is goin on.. the boxes are plain white and now sent a ribbon to put on around but stilli dont like them and i might sound like a bridezilla but is my wedding...
you don't sound like bridezilla!! if you'd rather have the boxes wrapped then you should seriously just do it! don't even tell anybody--they'll figure it out at the wedding and by then it's too late
if wrapping them is too much work right now, maybe there is something else you can do so that you really like them? do you have a pic? maybe we can help?
im gonna try to post a pic of the boxes, without the ribbon cuz i was so mad that i didnt even took one with me( she sent them to Fh's house) however, the ribbons dont even have a bow or anything...
Gigi08
Posted:
Member since
Re: very upset..need to vent!!!!
Well, that's the thing...you have to decide if it's important enough to you to put your foot down, or just let it go to spare yourself the aggravation. I just find it very rude. If I offered to do something for someone, it would be important to me that they would be happy with what I was doing...'I' would run it past someone first and ask them to be honest with me. No, I don't think it's bridezilla because in a situation like this, it becomes more about the fact that you are being totally disregarded...not so much about the box anymore! Like I said, I feel for you. I guess you'll have to pick your battles...save it for something more important to get the message across to her. thats what i think too. this woman is mad at it, but if she doing a favor for us and she offered herself because she wanted to make us happy...shouldnt she consider my opinion and try to please me ???
Yes, I would think so. If it was something incidental that she was doing...something personal from her to both of you...not something like the favors maybe you could appreciate the gesture more. But, it's being pushed on you, and it shouldn't be that way...then the nice gesture is lost. Again, I know they're only boxes... I'm curious, do you have a picture? Maybe we could give you some more ideas if we see it.
FutureMrsCarrieri
Posted:
Member since
Re: very upset..need to vent!!!!
Posted by Gigi08
Posted by melissatam2008
i know i gotta stand up, is just hard because my FMIl is all about drama and i dont wanna deal with that ...especially now that we r onyl 6 days away from the wedding..i got so much **** to do,...and this is goin on.. the boxes are plain white and now sent a ribbon to put on around but stilli dont like them and i might sound like a bridezilla but is my wedding...
Well, that's the thing...you have to decide if it's important enough to you to put your foot down, or just let it go to spare yourself the aggravation. I just find it very rude. If I offered to do something for someone, it would be important to me that they would be happy with what I was doing...'I' would run it past someone first and ask them to be honest with me. No, I don't think it's bridezilla because in a situation like this, it becomes more about the fact that you are being totally disregarded...not so much about the box anymore! Like I said, I feel for you. I guess you'll have to pick your battles...save it for something more important to get the message across to her.
normally I would agree with this but the op said that she 'didn't mind' allowing her fmil have her way until this problem with the favor box. So the first time she has a problem with something they flip out and basically try to run her over and bully her? Those women are control freaks and they feel they can get away with it. She needs to stand up for herself every time something like this happens.
I don't know -- maybe that's just my personality. What does FH say, by the way?
