Brides Helping Brides ™ - very upset..need to vent!!!! – Page 2

Gigi08 Posted: Jul 13, 2008 12:38 AM

Re: very upset..need to vent!!!!

Well, that's the thing...you have to decide if it's important enough to you to put your foot down, or just let it go to spare yourself the aggravation. I just find it very rude. If I offered to do something for someone, it would be important to me that they would be happy with what I was doing...'I' would run it past someone first and ask them to be honest with me. No, I don't think it's bridezilla because in a situation like this, it becomes more about the fact that you are being totally disregarded...not so much about the box anymore! Like I said, I feel for you. I guess you'll have to pick your battles...save it for something more important to get the message across to her.

normally I would agree with this but the op said that she 'didn't mind' allowing her fmil have her way until this problem with the favor box. So the first time she has a problem with something they flip out and basically try to run her over and bully her? Those women are control freaks and they feel they can get away with it. She needs to stand up for herself every time something like this happens.

I don't know -- maybe that's just my personality. What does FH say, by the way?

Well, unfortunately I guess it set the tone throughout the planning process. You want to be nice, and then you end up being taken advantage of...it's so typical. I agree that they are controlling, but the idea is at this point, does she let it go so she's not miserable. Going forward, yes I agree she definitely can't continue to be manipulated by her. Sometimes it takes time to get the message across to people like that. I hear you though...

melissatam2008 Posted: Jul 13, 2008 12:41 AM

Re: very upset..need to vent!!!!

Posted by FutureMrsCarrieri

Posted by Gigi08

Posted by melissatam2008

i know i gotta stand up, is just hard because my FMIl is all about drama and i dont wanna deal with that
...especially now that we r onyl 6 days away from the wedding..i got so much **** to do,...and this is goin on..
the boxes are plain white and now sent a ribbon to put on around but stilli dont like them and i might sound like a bridezilla but is my wedding...

Well, that's the thing...you have to decide if it's important enough to you to put your foot down, or just let it go to spare yourself the aggravation. I just find it very rude. If I offered to do something for someone, it would be important to me that they would be happy with what I was doing...'I' would run it past someone first and ask them to be honest with me. No, I don't think it's bridezilla because in a situation like this, it becomes more about the fact that you are being totally disregarded...not so much about the box anymore! Like I said, I feel for you. I guess you'll have to pick your battles...save it for something more important to get the message across to her.

normally I would agree with this but the op said that she 'didn't mind' allowing her fmil have her way until this problem with the favor box. So the first time she has a problem with something they flip out and basically try to run her over and bully her? Those women are control freaks and they feel they can get away with it. She needs to stand up for herself every time something like this happens.

I don't know -- maybe that's just my personality. What does FH say, by the way?

he talked to his parents about it, and he was on my my side, however, now he says just to leave them like that because this woman is flipping out and his mom is nagging him too...so im kind of upset with him too and told him that if they do those boxes like that, i wasnt gonna help..n he said fine

FutureMrsCarrieri Posted: Jul 13, 2008 12:50 AM

Re: very upset..need to vent!!!!

Posted by Gigi08

Well, that's the thing...you have to decide if it's important enough to you to put your foot down, or just let it go to spare yourself the aggravation. I just find it very rude. If I offered to do something for someone, it would be important to me that they would be happy with what I was doing...'I' would run it past someone first and ask them to be honest with me. No, I don't think it's bridezilla because in a situation like this, it becomes more about the fact that you are being totally disregarded...not so much about the box anymore! Like I said, I feel for you. I guess you'll have to pick your battles...save it for something more important to get the message across to her.

normally I would agree with this but the op said that she 'didn't mind' allowing her fmil have her way until this problem with the favor box. So the first time she has a problem with something they flip out and basically try to run her over and bully her? Those women are control freaks and they feel they can get away with it. She needs to stand up for herself every time something like this happens.

I don't know -- maybe that's just my personality. What does FH say, by the way?

Well, unfortunately I guess it set the tone throughout the planning process. You want to be nice, and then you end up being taken advantage of...it's so typical. I agree that they are controlling, but the idea is at this point, does she let it go so she's not miserable. Going forward, yes I agree she definitely can't continue to be manipulated by her. Sometimes it takes time to get the message across to people like that. I hear you though...

I agree, it will take time.
Honestly, if it were me, I'd wrap those f-in boxes just to piss them off.

melissatam2008 Posted: Jul 13, 2008 01:12 AM

Re: very upset..need to vent!!!!

Gigi08 Posted: Jul 13, 2008 01:14 AM

Re: very upset..need to vent!!!!

Posted by FutureMrsCarrieri

Posted by Gigi08

Well, that's the thing...you have to decide if it's important enough to you to put your foot down, or just let it go to spare yourself the aggravation. I just find it very rude. If I offered to do something for someone, it would be important to me that they would be happy with what I was doing...'I' would run it past someone first and ask them to be honest with me. No, I don't think it's bridezilla because in a situation like this, it becomes more about the fact that you are being totally disregarded...not so much about the box anymore! Like I said, I feel for you. I guess you'll have to pick your battles...save it for something more important to get the message across to her.

normally I would agree with this but the op said that she 'didn't mind' allowing her fmil have her way until this problem with the favor box. So the first time she has a problem with something they flip out and basically try to run her over and bully her? Those women are control freaks and they feel they can get away with it. She needs to stand up for herself every time something like this happens.

I don't know -- maybe that's just my personality. What does FH say, by the way?

Well, unfortunately I guess it set the tone throughout the planning process. You want to be nice, and then you end up being taken advantage of...it's so typical. I agree that they are controlling, but the idea is at this point, does she let it go so she's not miserable. Going forward, yes I agree she definitely can't continue to be manipulated by her. Sometimes it takes time to get the message across to people like that. I hear you though...

I agree, it will take time.
Honestly, if it were me, I'd wrap those f-in boxes just to piss them off.

I would probably agonize over it the way she is...but then maybe do what I wanted. I still struggle with that, but I think it has gotten a little easier than when I was younger. I feel much better now when I find a way to stand my ground with something. It gets to a point where you get so tired of the same old story...you know? I just want some peace in my life.

melissatam2008 Posted: Jul 13, 2008 01:16 AM

Re: very upset..need to vent!!!!

Posted by Gigi08

Posted by FutureMrsCarrieri

Posted by Gigi08

Well, that's the thing...you have to decide if it's important enough to you to put your foot down, or just let it go to spare yourself the aggravation. I just find it very rude. If I offered to do something for someone, it would be important to me that they would be happy with what I was doing...'I' would run it past someone first and ask them to be honest with me. No, I don't think it's bridezilla because in a situation like this, it becomes more about the fact that you are being totally disregarded...not so much about the box anymore! Like I said, I feel for you. I guess you'll have to pick your battles...save it for something more important to get the message across to her.

normally I would agree with this but the op said that she 'didn't mind' allowing her fmil have her way until this problem with the favor box. So the first time she has a problem with something they flip out and basically try to run her over and bully her? Those women are control freaks and they feel they can get away with it. She needs to stand up for herself every time something like this happens.

I don't know -- maybe that's just my personality. What does FH say, by the way?

Well, unfortunately I guess it set the tone throughout the planning process. You want to be nice, and then you end up being taken advantage of...it's so typical. I agree that they are controlling, but the idea is at this point, does she let it go so she's not miserable. Going forward, yes I agree she definitely can't continue to be manipulated by her. Sometimes it takes time to get the message across to people like that. I hear you though...

I agree, it will take time.
Honestly, if it were me, I'd wrap those f-in boxes just to piss them off.

I would probably agonize over it the way she is...but then maybe do what I wanted. I still struggle with that, but I think it has gotten a little easier than when I was younger. I feel much better now when I find a way to stand my ground with something. It gets to a point where you get so tired of the same old story...you know? I just want some peace in my life.

i agree w u..i just want fck peace in my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gigi08 Posted: Jul 13, 2008 01:24 AM

Re: very upset..need to vent!!!!

I agree, it will take time.
Honestly, if it were me, I'd wrap those f-in boxes just to piss them off.

I would probably agonize over it the way she is...but then maybe do what I wanted. I still struggle with that, but I think it has gotten a little easier than when I was younger. I feel much better now when I find a way to stand my ground with something. It gets to a point where you get so tired of the same old story...you know? I just want some peace in my life.

i agree w u..i just want fck peace in my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Definitely...especially during this special time! You know how they say, pick your battles. If you decide to let this one go, try not to worry about the boxes too much. Most people won't notice, and if they do, they will understand why. It's just one of those little things that you would like to be some of 'you'. People will be paying more attention to you that day...try and keep that in mind.

FutureMrsCarrieri Posted: Jul 13, 2008 01:27 AM

Re: very upset..need to vent!!!!

Posted by melissatam2008

Posted by Gigi08

Posted by FutureMrsCarrieri

Posted by Gigi08

Well, that's the thing...you have to decide if it's important enough to you to put your foot down, or just let it go to spare yourself the aggravation. I just find it very rude. If I offered to do something for someone, it would be important to me that they would be happy with what I was doing...'I' would run it past someone first and ask them to be honest with me. No, I don't think it's bridezilla because in a situation like this, it becomes more about the fact that you are being totally disregarded...not so much about the box anymore! Like I said, I feel for you. I guess you'll have to pick your battles...save it for something more important to get the message across to her.

normally I would agree with this but the op said that she 'didn't mind' allowing her fmil have her way until this problem with the favor box. So the first time she has a problem with something they flip out and basically try to run her over and bully her? Those women are control freaks and they feel they can get away with it. She needs to stand up for herself every time something like this happens.

I don't know -- maybe that's just my personality. What does FH say, by the way?

Well, unfortunately I guess it set the tone throughout the planning process. You want to be nice, and then you end up being taken advantage of...it's so typical. I agree that they are controlling, but the idea is at this point, does she let it go so she's not miserable. Going forward, yes I agree she definitely can't continue to be manipulated by her. Sometimes it takes time to get the message across to people like that. I hear you though...

I agree, it will take time.
Honestly, if it were me, I'd wrap those f-in boxes just to piss them off.

I would probably agonize over it the way she is...but then maybe do what I wanted. I still struggle with that, but I think it has gotten a little easier than when I was younger. I feel much better now when I find a way to stand my ground with something. It gets to a point where you get so tired of the same old story...you know? I just want some peace in my life.

i agree w u..i just want fck peace in my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want peace in my life too -- but not at my expense. Or at least not always at my expense.

I am also confrontational -- probably a little more than I need to be. I just have this thing inside me that says that if I don't stand up for myself then I am in essence agreeing with their actions. I know this isn't true but I can't help feeling that way.
wow -- I need therapy
Give me those damn boxes! I'll wrap them for you, lol

Gigi08 Posted: Jul 13, 2008 01:32 AM

Re: very upset..need to vent!!!!

I want peace in my life too -- but not at my expense. Or at least not always at my expense.

I am also confrontational -- probably a little more than I need to be. I just have this thing inside me that says that if I don't stand up for myself then I am in essence agreeing with their actions. I know this isn't true but I can't help feeling that way.
wow -- I need therapy
Give me those damn boxes! I'll wrap them for you, lol

Ha...see that's the thing, I'm not confrontational and that's why I've always struggled with dealing with people like that. Sometimes it's just not worth fighting with people over certain things. And, like you said before, it has a lot to do with your (not you, but generally) personality and how you respond to situations. It's not easy... It just bothers me more to hear about things like this and how selfish people can be when it comes to a wedding. It should be a happy time.

FutureMrsCarrieri Posted: Jul 13, 2008 01:38 AM

Re: very upset..need to vent!!!!

Posted by Gigi08

I want peace in my life too -- but not at my expense. Or at least not always at my expense.

I am also confrontational -- probably a little more than I need to be. I just have this thing inside me that says that if I don't stand up for myself then I am in essence agreeing with their actions. I know this isn't true but I can't help feeling that way.
wow -- I need therapy
Give me those damn boxes! I'll wrap them for you, lol

Ha...see that's the thing, I'm not confrontational and that's why I've always struggled with dealing with people like that. Sometimes it's just not worth fighting with people over certain things. And, like you said before, it has a lot to do with your (not you, but generally) personality and how you respond to situations. It's not easy... It just bothers me more to hear about things like this and how selfish people can be when it comes to a wedding. It should be a happy time.

Even at work, I'm known for speaking my mind. It's not always a good thing. I guess moderation is the key here. And you're right -- this should be a happy time for the OP.

OP -- I hope you work it out. Keep us posted and don't let those b----'s ruin your day.

Gigi08 Posted: Jul 13, 2008 01:40 AM

Re: very upset..need to vent!!!!

Posted by FutureMrsCarrieri

Posted by Gigi08

I want peace in my life too -- but not at my expense. Or at least not always at my expense.

I am also confrontational -- probably a little more than I need to be. I just have this thing inside me that says that if I don't stand up for myself then I am in essence agreeing with their actions. I know this isn't true but I can't help feeling that way.
wow -- I need therapy
Give me those damn boxes! I'll wrap them for you, lol

Ha...see that's the thing, I'm not confrontational and that's why I've always struggled with dealing with people like that. Sometimes it's just not worth fighting with people over certain things. And, like you said before, it has a lot to do with your (not you, but generally) personality and how you respond to situations. It's not easy... It just bothers me more to hear about things like this and how selfish people can be when it comes to a wedding. It should be a happy time.

Even at work, I'm known for speaking my mind. It's not always a good thing. I guess moderation is the key here. And you're right -- this should be a happy time for the OP.

OP -- I hope you work it out. Keep us posted and don't let those b----'s ruin your day.

Yes, let us know what you end up doing, Melissa! Sorry if we took over the post!

melissatam2008 Posted: Jul 13, 2008 09:48 AM

Re: very upset..need to vent!!!! UPDATE

Posted by melissatam2008

omg grls im so upset..i cant believe that no even because is my wedding i cant decide things....ON MY OWN WEDDING!!!!!
let me start from the beginning..
my FH's parents have this friend which FH called aunt becuase they have been friends for so long, she pratically saw my FH be born. when she found out about the wedding, she offered herself to do the boxes for the favors and candies that are gonna be place on the tables. she just sent the boxes this week , when we are 6 days away from the wedding, and the boxes have to be ensemble ,. the boxes are plain white, nutting special and i dont really like them like that...so i decided to buy paper wrap and wrap them. i wrapped a couple and everyone liked them. however, My FH's mom told her and the woman flipped out. she got so mad about it, because she said that she took so much time, desgining them and we are gonna change wha she did. they are fck white boxes, how much thought can u put to make them?????so FH;s mom told me not to wrap them...so i have no say on it and cant wrap them. this is horrible, the only thing i really wanna decide , i cant...the whole wedding i have let FH's mom give her opinion , which meant decide a lot of stuff and i didnt mind, and now when i want to decide something i just cant at all, cuz i cant hurt the woman feelings, but what about me?? is my wedding i should be able to pick the stuff i like. The whole time, My fh's mom have tried to be controlling, and i didnt say anything cuz she is paying for most of it and i didnt mind, but now im tired of it and cant take it......thanks for reading, i know is kind of long, bu i really needed to vent.

UPDATE
so i got into a fight w Fh cuz of this..he told me to just quitted it, but i cant....is not even about the boxes anymore.. is BOUT THE fact that i always listen to her mom advices and try to please(im too nice sometimes , plz someone smack me) and now she cant consider my opinion and freakin slap her friend for being so stupid...???? all Fh could say is that his mom doesnt wanna cause a big trouble with her friend.that they been friends for so long and y bother so much about the boxes???? i dont agreee
p.s this woman is insane...

jeanne08 Posted: Jul 13, 2008 10:09 AM

delete

soon2BMrsin08 Posted: Jul 13, 2008 10:24 AM

Re: very upset..need to vent!!!!

I dont want to be to blunt but I am. I had to learn this lesson the hard way but IT IS YOUR DAY. these people had their wedidngs and their day. You have been kind enough to not only listent others thoughts but agree to them as well. Well this time your not and honestly this woman should have notified you first re what the boxes will look like and what you would like etc. wrap the damn boxes the way you want them.

LoriBeth2728 Posted: Jul 14, 2008 01:13 PM

Re: very upset..need to vent!!!!

Just wrap them then the fmil that when people unwrap them they'll see the boxes! Stand up for yourself!!!

kellyannebrennan Posted: Jul 14, 2008 01:23 PM

Re: very upset..need to vent!!!!

I say wrap them. Or... mysteriously forget to even drop them off at the RH and don't give out any damn favors. FH's 'aunt' would really get the message then.

Kerin2804 Posted: Jul 14, 2008 02:19 PM

Re: very upset..need to vent!!!!

Wrap the boxes with the pretty paper you picked and if it works, add in the ribbon she sent, if not leave it off. Pack your wrapped favors in a big box and deliver to the hall - If anyone dares to make a comment to you on your wedding day simply tell them to keep it to themselves - this is not the time or place.