want to KILL FH

ostrichhh Posted: Jul 11, 2007 01:22 PM

want to KILL FH

because he wont do the mother/son dance. he is from ireland (his mom and all his fam are flying in for the wedding) and says this isnt an irish tradition so why should he do it? he is shy and doesnt want the attention. i say this is BS and it makes me NUTS. we just had a huge fight about it but he refuses to budge. if he doesnt, would it look stupid if i danced with my father and he didnt dance with his mother? am i overreacting? i feel like every day i have another thing to cry about.

lredhead79 Posted: Jul 11, 2007 01:23 PM

Re: want to KILL FH

DH and his mom didnt dance.
I know we all want our day to be perfect and we want what we want but try and remember....this is his day too.

rkl1130 Posted: Jul 11, 2007 01:25 PM

Re: want to KILL FH

I don't think it will look stupid if he doesn't do the dance.

WilliesBride Posted: Jul 11, 2007 01:25 PM

Re: want to KILL FH

My FH is not going to be dancing with his mother.......but I will be dancing with my father.....I don't think it will look stupid either way though

August12 Posted: Jul 11, 2007 01:26 PM

Re: want to KILL FH

If his mom is from Ireland and unaware of our practices, then I wouldnt be too concerned.

I would be more concerned about her feelings. (if she knew about it)

lilangel Posted: Jul 11, 2007 01:28 PM

Re: want to KILL FH

My FH never heard of it and doesn't want to do it either. However lucky me ... FMIL heard of it and is already picking out a song.

AMANDA2378 Posted: Jul 11, 2007 01:29 PM

Re: want to KILL FH

oh boy!!! My FH has been a pain in the arse about a few traditions and most of them luckily he's backed down and there are not issues anymore.

I would maybe explain to him without starting another argument that you picture your dance with dad then his with mom and you think it would be nice for him to dance with his mom considering, but if he still refuses to do it......then let it be.

thats his choice and it wont look silly. I hate to say it, but Most ppl think of the bride dancing with the father.

Honestly, I think most ppl think about only the bride.....the groom is just there to make it all happen!!

Dont freak out about it and try not to get upset.....everything will work out in the end!!!!

Kara and Todd Posted: Jul 11, 2007 01:29 PM

Re: want to KILL FH

It's fine, so long as he and his mother are both fine with it.

My brother danced with my mom, but his wife did not dance with anyone. Her father died 3 months before the wedding and she didn't want to dance with anyone in place of him.

There are plenty of people who don't do the mother-son dance - So as long as he and his mother are fine with it, then that's all that matters. It's THEIR decision and theirs only.

ostrichhh Posted: Jul 11, 2007 01:31 PM

Re: want to KILL FH

thanks you guys. i feel less like a psychopath with every post. i have to remember to breathe.

drpepper318 Posted: Jul 11, 2007 01:32 PM

Re: want to KILL FH

If they really don't want to dance (him and his mom), I don't think you should try to force him into dancing with her. He'll just be uncomfortable with it and that would show in the pictures anyway.
Don't worry! It'll look FINE if you just dance with your dad!

Colette Posted: Jul 11, 2007 01:34 PM

Re: want to KILL FH

Awww don't cry!! My FH is ALSO from Ireland. He ALSO doesn't dance!! He's ALSO very shy!!

Hey are we marrying the same guy? hahahaha.

I'm taking a zen approach to the whole thing. It will NOT be weird if they don't dance. Everyone will love you with your dad, and I guarantee you most people WONT EVEN NOTICE that FH & MIL don't dance. And the ones that do won't even question it...

My dad has a hip problem and we might not be able to dance bride/dad; if that's the way it is, its fine with me.

At some point in the night, i can almost guarantee he WILL dance with his mom, just not as a 'SOLO' event, so make sure your photog. gets a pic of that and let him off the hook on this one!

Best of luck!!

twinkle164 Posted: Jul 11, 2007 04:53 PM

Re: want to KILL FH

Posted by lilangel

My FH never heard of it and doesn't want to do it either. However lucky me ... FMIL heard of it and is already picking out a song.

Lily092207 Posted: Jul 11, 2007 05:07 PM

Re: want to KILL FH

aww..don't be upset. I mean there are alot of things we brides want done but we can't always expect it. It's his day just as well and as long as you both are happy..that's what counts. Don't let this one thing upset you and don't let it drag you both down. I'm doing a dance with my brother but my FH isn't dancing with his mom. It's ok..It's going to be happy and enjoyable at the same time.

Mmnnng Posted: Jul 11, 2007 05:48 PM

Re: want to KILL FH

Odds are the only one who will realize it was missing is you! We stress so much that others won't even notice....but hey we're brides thats our job!!

Good Luck!

shelby34 Posted: Jul 11, 2007 05:56 PM

Re: want to KILL FH

If he really doesn't want to do it, I wouldn't push the issue. If he is close to his mom, maybe she can speak with him and say it would mean a lot to her (if that is the case). If not, then you should still go ahead and dance with your dad...

portjeffbride Posted: Jul 11, 2007 05:56 PM

Re: want to KILL FH

it's not that bad.... don't let yourself get tied in knots over anything in the reception. it's simply not worth it.

you see the irony in this don't you? you're arguing about what happens when you celebrate your union, and that argument is affecting your union....

the reception is merely a party... if you want to do a father/bride dance, do it. You don't have to force FH to do likewise if he doesn't want to. after all, it's his wedding too

soon2BmrsG Posted: Jul 11, 2007 05:58 PM

Re: want to KILL FH

Hey, maybe you guys can do a dance where FH and his mom come out to join you and your dad?
I did this, we used the song: Somewhere over the rainbow/WHat a wonderfull world by Israel Kamakawiwo and when what a wonderful world started playing, thats when DH and his mom came out, he might feel a bit more comfortable this way?

diva7531 Posted: Jul 11, 2007 06:09 PM

Re: want to KILL FH

I agree with Iredhead, It's his day too, he doesn't want to dance, so don't make him. Would you want him to make you do dome kinda tradition you couldn't wrap your head around? I do not think it will look siily or stupid if there is only one parent dance. Take a deep breath, does it truly matter, sometimes in the moment I get very stubborn/animated about an idea, but the next day I wonder why I was so crazy about it?!?!?!?!?! Give it a day or 2 and see how you feel. Good Luck and we'll bail you out if need be