Wedding Blues Please advice...**UPDATE**

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Posted by Glamorousbride

I am it's just hard because I know I'm hurting my mother and even when she is wrong, she's still my mother and she did pay for me to go to college, bought me a car, etc.

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Hurting your mother?? what? Girl, wow, this is no good. Seriously, if your mom isn't paying for it how in the helll is it hurting her for you to have a less than top notch wedding???

A whole bunch of fabulous people are giving you some fabulous advice. You are shooting so much of it down. Get in your car and go and speak to each one of these vendors personally. Explain your situation. So you guaranteed a room - WHATEVER - change it!
THIS IS YOUR WEDDING!!! You have all this time to make it work so make it work!

***I'm sorry, I'm in a mood tonight. I'm tired of this. You have so many options here to fix this. It's your money. Don't just assume things. Go talk to people. The vendors you have booked with I am sure are nice, understanding people. They want you to be happy. They will (mostly) bend over backwards to make you happy. YOU are paying THEM! Shiit I'LL call them for you, I really am in that place right now. I'll talk to your mom too... . Ok I am truly losing my mind tonight. You can fix this and you can cut down your list. I know that right now it seems that is just not possible, well, it is. Keep it to family, or only immediate family and close friends. Put your number down to 75 and keep it there. It will suuck having to cut out people but it is possible you just have to be creative.

Candles make great centerpieces.

Get your flowers at Costco the day before the wedding and have all your party get together and make the bouquets.

Look over your contract with your hall again. Can you get out of it? If you can, DO IT! There are plenty of places you can have a beautiful wedding for a lower cost. Are you doing it on a Friday or Saturday night? Change the time of the wedding - daytime is usually cheaper. Change the menu - keep the cocktail hour limited. Heck - keep it to just cocktails. Have wine and beer only, hire a DJ - no live music. Find a very simple wedding cake and decorate it yourself with fresh flowers. Make your own invites. Make your own everything. FORGET the favors - not that important. If you really want them make your own CD's. Everyone loves those. No rehearsal dinner, find a friend to do your hair and makeup, go to davids bridal for a dress.

You can make this work. Good luck and I'm sorry for being biitchy...

Sorry that you are feeling down about paying for everything!!! I think everyone feels this way at some point, but whatever you do or decide, don't let anyone make you feel bad for things you cannot afford to do or have at the wedding!!

My FH is also in local 3......may I ask what division your FH is in? Is he an apprentice? if so, what year? I asked FH and he was saying something about the union hall mailing you bonds that enable you to take out loans, we haven't utilized loans through the union so our info on them is kind of limited, but he thinks that the amount they allow you to take out depends upon the length of time he's been in the union......he suggested that your FH call the union hall and speak with someone there about how you go about getting a loan.

But honestly, you can definitely scale some things back to keep within your budget, and keep pushing to find a summer job!! Or maybe you should try working through the fall 07 semester to earn even more? Taking one semester off isn't bad!! You have options!! Take a breather, and it will all be ok!! I think your family is making this harder on you than it needs to be. Let me know if you need to talk, or if you have any questions my FH could possibly help with on local 3.

ouch. that really wasn't fair of your mom to say even if she was feeling hurt. after all, you're not asking her to pay for the whole wedding, you're just looking for some kind of clue as to why everyone kept suggesting you go all out when they weren't going to chip in. a lot of girls have already made good suggestions about ways to save on costs - there are plenty of ideas and DIY's to try that will look great and everyone will think you're creative and unique, not cheap.

i know you feel like **** right now - just take a deep breath and let everyone cool off for a few days. you are right that you don't want to start off a marriage being worried about $$$. go with your gut and we are all here to help!

I did not shoot anything down! I did cut down my guest list dramatically, and it was hard to do but I did it. I booked all basic packages. It's not that my wedding is anything extravagent, it's an average wedding. I'm not doing centerpieces, I used money I got for Christmas for my favors, I'm trying!

I do work, part-time though. I student teach mondays and fridays and have full class schedules tues-thursday.

I just want it to be clear that I don't ignore the good advice I am given!!!

You can get really nice invites from michaels or AC moore. And you can download and print a coupon from AC moore and get 40% off your invitations. Bring your bridal party, each with their own coupon and you can save so much! Know that you are doing the best you can. Family is so lose to you sometimes you can't help but not be able to see the whole picture. I'm sure your mom wanted to help, but maybe part of her frustration is she wanted to but now cannot. Maybe she is over extended too, but doesn't know how to tell you. Parents can't tell their kids things like that at times. If you need anything, let us/me know. We all know what you are going through!

i think you should stop wprrying about what everybody else wants and do what you & FH want...if you cant afford a big wedding then you just cant big deal...you can still have a beautiful day eith something simple or you can go to the caribbean and get married on the beach...that way you dont have to worry about guest just go with people closest to yo..hope it helps

I would scale back. Cut your guest list, see if your RH will budge a little on your minimum.Anywhere you can save-do it. Cut out limos, make a lot of DYI items, and either skip the HM, get a HM registry, or choose something like a road trip to cut costs.

Don't put yourself in debt over a wedding, the marriage is much more important.

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Posted by snydl40

Cut your guest list, see if your RH will budge a little on your minimum

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When we were first looking at halls that had high minimums, many of them were willing to reduce the minimum # by just increasing the price per person a couple of dollars. It definitely worked out in our favor that way ...

I am taking all of your advice and trying to apply it to my wedding..but I am lost I did everything I can possibily think of:

Cut down guest lists
no centerpieces or DIY
getting single roses instead of boquet for bms
booked the min. packages with my vendors
Doing my own invites
bought cheap favors and fixing them myself
Cheap!!! Limo
Inexpensive BM's gifts- great quality just got an amazing sale.


I guess when I really think about it--- it's not a huge wedding it just feels like it to me.