Wedding BS - min rant

Fh and I got a invite by his second cousins up comming wedding. As happy I am to get this invite they enclosed a note on a index card saying that they are sorry they didn't send this out originally but we were 'forgot' not in exact words but basically means that. We didn't get a response card just on this index card they said to call them to tell them if we are comming or not. I DO NOT MIND the fact we were kinda forgotten not at all but its like can't you write a note on nice stationary or on a piece of paper. It is a index card!

Fh doesn't want to go and I am not sure because we only sent their parents (fh's first cousins) a STD for our wedding and had no plans to invite their children ( one married, one who just invited us to their wedding, one just engaged).

Now since we are invited to this wedding do we have to invite them to ours???? We can't afford to invite anymore people at all. That is the only reason fh doens't know if we are going or not because he doens't want to go then have to invite them.

What should i do?

Decline with regrets and no, dont invite them.
Sounds like you may have even been ontheir B list.. so I dont think its a big deal.

Don't invite them... not a big deal. If they give a fuss, honestly tough shiit.

I don't understand people. How can things like a wedding be such a big deal.

I don't know about your family, but my family talks behind each other's backs. Like, 'Jenn and Alfonse didn't send an invite to me, I can't believe it.' Of course it will get back to you... so if that happens, call them out on it. 'I didn't invite you because I can't afford it. I hope you understand, and if you are upset about anything else that I do please tell me and not Aunt Cathy.'

honest gut feeling is you were b-listed, maybe (hopefully) i am wrong, me being the insane woman that i am wouldn't be able to go bc my pride would get the best of me

oh yeah, i wouldnt invite them...maybe put them on my b-list, bwahahahaha (kidding i am not making a b-list)

yea, you were b-listed., which is a bunch of b.s. because your family... why are you on the B-list .?.ok whatever...

I think IMO** you should invite them., because they are family. Im sure others will decline and you can fit them in there.

But...maybe they felt aqkward...maybe their parents got the invite and told them to send you guys an invite..get me? not sure if im doing a good idea at describing but maybe they thought they left you out....and now your leaving them out and that was the right thing to do???

the thing is fh is not close to his family at all, he has seen these people twice in his lifetime (35 years old) and he only has seen the parents a few times over his life. I know we were on the b-list or even a last invite since we didn't get a repsonse card at all and the wedding is a month away.

I figured if we accept then we have to invite them.
If we decline send a small gift (under $30) then we have no guilt in NOT inviting them to our wedding.

Honestly my mom and fh's sister thinks we should go but still not invite them and i am not sure if i am comftable with that.

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Posted by Mizzdimple

yea, you were b-listed., which is a bunch of b.s. because your family... why are you on the B-list .?.ok whatever...

I think IMO** you should invite them., because they are family. Im sure others will decline and you can fit them in there.

But...maybe they felt aqkward...maybe their parents got the invite and told them to send you guys an invite..get me? not sure if im doing a good idea at describing but maybe they thought they left you out....and now your leaving them out and that was the right thing to do???

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She said they were second cousins i believe...
which while yes, is still family, i don't think you should feel obligated to invite them over people they are close with.

I have 32 first cousins. I am inviting all of them. However if I invited them with their spouses and all of their children it would almost double my entire guest list.
we are inviting my parents cousins (which are my second cousins) but are arent inviting their children for the same reason.

When $$ is an issue there really isnt much you can do. Inviting extra people based solely on the fact that they are family regaurdless of your relationship with them sounds silly, a waste of money, and in some situations looks like you're just asking for a gift.

So to the original poster... you can decline with regrets and no do not feel obligated to invite them to your wedding.

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Posted by nifheim

the thing is fh is not close to his family at all, he has seen these people twice in his lifetime (35 years old) and he only has seen the parents a few times over his life. I know we were on the b-list or even a last invite since we didn't get a repsonse card at all and the wedding is a month away.

I figured if we accept then we have to invite them.
If we decline send a small gift (under $30) then we have no guilt in NOT inviting them to our wedding.

Honestly my mom and fh's sister thinks we should go but still not invite them and i am not sure if i am comftable with that.

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it totally depends on the size of your wedding.... if you arent having a huge wedding and are not inviting everyone else they are related to or on the same level of relation to, then you can go to their wedding and not feel guilt at all about not inviting them to yours.

weddings should not be a tit for tat kind of event. you can invite whom ever you want, and not invite others.
it's fine.

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Posted by LuvMyAlfonse

Don't invite them... not a big deal. If they give a fuss, honestly tough shiit.

I don't understand people. How can things like a wedding be such a big deal.

I don't know about your family, but my family talks behind each other's backs. Like, 'Jenn and Alfonse didn't send an invite to me, I can't believe it.' Of course it will get back to you... so if that happens, call them out on it. 'I didn't invite you because I can't afford it. I hope you understand, and if you are upset about anything else that I do please tell me and not Aunt Cathy.'

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Well said!! if people have issues, they need to tell it to us, not other people. i hate that.

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Posted by bemyyoko

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Posted by Mizzdimple

yea, you were b-listed., which is a bunch of b.s. because your family... why are you on the B-list .?.ok whatever...

I think IMO** you should invite them., because they are family. Im sure others will decline and you can fit them in there.

But...maybe they felt aqkward...maybe their parents got the invite and told them to send you guys an invite..get me? not sure if im doing a good idea at describing but maybe they thought they left you out....and now your leaving them out and that was the right thing to do???

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She said they were second cousins i believe...
which while yes, is still family, i don't think you should feel obligated to invite them over people they are close with.

I have 32 first cousins. I am inviting all of them. However if I invited them with their spouses and all of their children it would almost double my entire guest list.
we are inviting my parents cousins (which are my second cousins) but are arent inviting their children for the same reason.

When $$ is an issue there really isnt much you can do. Inviting extra people based solely on the fact that they are family regaurdless of your relationship with them sounds silly, a waste of money, and in some situations looks like you're just asking for a gift.

So to the original poster... you can decline with regrets and no do not feel obligated to invite them to your wedding.

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O ok, i guess its just an IMO type of thing. b/c to me..family first even if second cousin,

SO nifeim...if he isnt close then forget it.,