Wedding Costs (VENT)

I don't know if anyone else is feeling like me; but the thought of wedding costs is making my head explode!

I'm still searching for a venue; trying to find a beautiful hall on a budget-my list is narrowed down to 3 tops choices that i will be taking FH with me to see. Over the phone/e-mail I've discussed rates with the halls but will realyl need to see what their final offers are and what they can include to help us cut costs.

I have a vision in my mind of the type of wedding I want and i'm willing to try to work hard to make it happen within my budget (a lot DIY; negotiating) just wondering how everyone else is making their days special without breaking the bank! I've got 22 months until i get married. Starting with next weeks paycheck I'm putting a certain amount of money in a seperate account and that will be the start of my wedding fund.

I used the budget calculator on TheKnot and when i put my budget in and it calculated everything it said i could only spend some crazy low number like $30pp for the reception-that's not even possible!

Sorry just venting my frustration with weddng costs!!

weddings are expensive ... it really is very sad how we brides-to-be are being used by the vendors ... they don't HAVE to be so expensive ... it's sooooo annoying ... yes, my head's going to explode too.

You may have to change your vision a little bit to stay in your budget ... one thing i read in a wedding magazine is that people often think of prices in 'wedding money' ... sure $500 is not much considering what you're paying for everything else ... but that is still a 'real' $500 that you have to spend ... that's a lot of hours/days of work! so you really need to think of all prices in terms of real money, not wedding money. That really helped me stay within my budget ....

good luck with everything!

ITA.. and a big part of that is where we live. Just about any other place in the country would be less then half.. its just not fair

---

Posted by AwaitingAugust

weddings are expensive ... it really is very sad how we brides-to-be are being used by the vendors ... they don't HAVE to be so expensive ... it's sooooo annoying ... yes, my head's going to explode too.

You may have to change your vision a little bit to stay in your budget ... one thing i read in a wedding magazine is that people often think of prices in 'wedding money' ... sure $500 is not much considering what you're paying for everything else ... but that is still a 'real' $500 that you have to spend ... that's a lot of hours/days of work! so you really need to think of all prices in terms of real money, not wedding money. That really helped me stay within my budget ....

good luck with everything!

---

That's so true-it's easy to say oh the dress is only $500-but that's still a lot of money! LOL!

To be 100% honest; i'm keeping things very simple and definetely staying within the budget that i have set as much as possible!! I will haggle and negotiate as much as I can. I don't need a limo; or extravagent centerpieces; those things aren't as important to me as the actual reception and the food/drinks. I can definetely try DIY invitations i've seen some really great ones here on this site and i've got plenty of time to look around at photographers because it's also very important for me to capture all the memories of this day.

---

Posted by dianeb888

ITA.. and a big part of that is where we live. Just about any other place in the country would be less then half.. its just not fair

---

So true!!!

My wedding is going to cost more than 2x what I take home in a year... *hyperventilates*

We feel you!!!!!

I have been feeling the exact same way. my dad is recently on disability and my parents have 3 daughters , they arent going to mortgage there house to give me a wedding so we are doing everything on our own.

i have been planning on getting engaged for over 2 years I had spreed sheets prepared and everything. and now that i can finally plan i realize that my budget is not going to cover the dreams that i had :(

---

Posted by FututeMrsDe

i have been planning on getting engaged for over 2 years I had spreed sheets prepared and everything. and now that i can finally plan i realize that my budget is not going to cover the dreams that i had :(

---

I understand EXACTLY what you mean-how do people do it? Do they save up before they're even engaged?? FH & I bought a house 2 years ago so the savings we had we put into the house. I'm even trying to get a 2nd job just to put some extra money towards the wedding/honeymoon fund!

not sure what your occupation is, but if you qualify join the Nassau Educators Federal Credit Union (NEFCU) they have a Go Green Checking Account that gives you 4% if you have a direct deposit in it and make either 1 online bill payment or 12 debit transactions per month.

Prior to October I was using an FNBO and and ING Direct Online Savings Accounts and they were barely giving me 1.5% interest so we switched to NEFCU it was good for 2 reasons: the interest rate and the fact that we know have a joint checking account and can write all payments via checks from that account.

What we do to keep track of the debit transactions is that we have a rule it cant be more than $10 and you must repay it prior to the end of the month. Its pretty easy, it just means instead of filling up my tank I get $10 of gas at a time.

Hope it helps, 4% interest can help your a lot when you talk about saving up for a wedding.

---

Posted by Notwedyet08

---

Posted by FututeMrsDe

i have been planning on getting engaged for over 2 years I had spreed sheets prepared and everything. and now that i can finally plan i realize that my budget is not going to cover the dreams that i had :(

---

I understand EXACTLY what you mean-how do people do it? Do they save up before they're even engaged?? FH & I bought a house 2 years ago so the savings we had we put into the house. I'm even trying to get a 2nd job just to put some extra money towards the wedding/honeymoon fund!

---

ITA. i might be doing the same thing. we are in the same boat. we bought a house about 2yrs ago, and its hard to save up $$ now!
and ITS about the Wedding money too! I saw a dress for 1,200... which everyone tells me isn't bad for that particular dres... but I jsut keep saying.. BUT ITS 1,200! lol
CRAZY! We have changed our budget about two or three times already. its becoming more and more unrealistic!

---

Posted by mrsq2be

---

Posted by Notwedyet08

---

Posted by FututeMrsDe

i have been planning on getting engaged for over 2 years I had spreed sheets prepared and everything. and now that i can finally plan i realize that my budget is not going to cover the dreams that i had :(

---

I understand EXACTLY what you mean-how do people do it? Do they save up before they're even engaged?? FH & I bought a house 2 years ago so the savings we had we put into the house. I'm even trying to get a 2nd job just to put some extra money towards the wedding/honeymoon fund!

---

ITA. i might be doing the same thing. we are in the same boat. we bought a house about 2yrs ago, and its hard to save up $$ now!
and ITS about the Wedding money too! I saw a dress for 1,200... which everyone tells me isn't bad for that particular dres... but I jsut keep saying.. BUT ITS 1,200! lol
CRAZY! We have changed our budget about two or three times already. its becoming more and more unrealistic!

---

DITTO!! I saw some gorgeous dresses online and they were all $900-$1200 i just can't spend that much. According to the KNOT budget calculator I shouldn't spend more than $400! MAYBE if i find one on sale but that's going to be hard!! I guess i should start looking now to try to find the best deal. Maybe if i see something now; it will eventually go on sale??

If i'm learning anything it's don't be afraid to negotiate. I've been dealing mainly with Westbury manor; douglaston Manor; The Watermill & the Swan club (all via e-mail) I plan to visit all 4 places between this month & next month and discuss pricing; what's included what is not included and i'll pick the place that gives the most for the least amount of costs. If i book a place soon that gives me anywhere between 18-22 months to pay for it. I can easily do that just putting $150 aside each paycheck (and that's only my share that not including with FH can save). With the extra money (FH savings) we should be able to cover the costs of flowers; DJ; Transportation; stationary. I just figure if i'm planning it THIS far in advance i (hopefully ) won't feel the full affect of having to pay for so much at once. Any other suggestions?? OH and this board is the BEST have a TON of DIY ideas for invitations; favors. I'm not doing a program and if the hall can include place cards; table numbers, menus and directional cards i'll use theres! or try to do all of those myself...love DIY!

weddings are def expensive. When I got engaged in 2008, I basically thought I could do a simple wedding for like $ 5,000!! once I did my research, I learned a REALISTIC budget for a DECENT wedding (RH, good vendors for photo, video, flowers and church costs, etc) would be more like $ 15-25K.

So thats why I opted to do a 2 year engagement. I know people who are engaged for as long as 8 or 9 YEARS just so they can save up ~25-50K for the wedding of their dreams. Right now, I am estimating my wedding costs to be around $16-20K (total of $12K balances due to vendors the week of the wedding) which is about right, and I was fortunate enough to land a good paying part time job so I could stash away 15K in my wedding fund.

If costs are a major concern, you can trim the budget in various ways.

# 1: ALWAYS negotiate with FH IN PERSON. I don't recommend dealing with them over e-mail because RH's never want to go lower than they have to. If an RH says in an email 'ok we can do $78/per person' that email has the potential of being sent to other brides and then the RH is stuck on that quote. RH's never want to give you a good price unless you really put your foot down!! I negotiated with Leonards in person and they managed to throw in a few 'freebies' that could have cost me an additional $300 or 400.

# 2 - plan on a Friday or Sunday afternoon wedding. Sundays are cheaper. Anything during the week is always cheaper (Monday night - Thurs night) because RH's have more availability and want your business.

# 3 - research vendors and only go for necessary services. A Basic DJ package can cost only $800. You can DIY florists and favors, even invitations, programs, menus and so forth. That's about $3K right there. Hair and makeup? a lot of people do it themselves. DOJ? you can get pretty cheap fancy jewelry at mall kiosks for like $20.

# 4: have a small bridal party. For every bridesmaid/groomsman you add to the Bridal Party, you have to account for $$ to pay for dressesm gifts, and possibly hair.makeup.

---

Posted by FutureMrsLMS

weddings are def expensive. When I got engaged in 2008, I basically thought I could do a simple wedding for like $ 5,000!! once I did my research, I learned a REALISTIC budget for a DECENT wedding (RH, good vendors for photo, video, flowers and church costs, etc) would be more like $ 15-25K.

So thats why I opted to do a 2 year engagement. I know people who are engaged for as long as 8 or 9 YEARS just so they can save up ~25-50K for the wedding of their dreams. Right now, I am estimating my wedding costs to be around $16-20K (total of $12K balances due to vendors the week of the wedding) which is about right, and I was fortunate enough to land a good paying part time job so I could stash away 15K in my wedding fund.

If costs are a major concern, you can trim the budget in various ways.

# 1: ALWAYS negotiate with FH IN PERSON. I don't recommend dealing with them over e-mail because RH's never want to go lower than they have to. If an RH says in an email 'ok we can do $78/per person' that email has the potential of being sent to other brides and then the RH is stuck on that quote. RH's never want to give you a good price unless you really put your foot down!! I negotiated with Leonards in person and they managed to throw in a few 'freebies' that could have cost me an additional $300 or 400.

# 2 - plan on a Friday or Sunday afternoon wedding. Sundays are cheaper. Anything during the week is always cheaper (Monday night - Thurs night) because RH's have more availability and want your business.

# 3 - research vendors and only go for necessary services. A Basic DJ package can cost only $800. You can DIY florists and favors, even invitations, programs, menus and so forth. That's about $3K right there. Hair and makeup? a lot of people do it themselves. DOJ? you can get pretty cheap fancy jewelry at mall kiosks for like $20.

# 4: have a small bridal party. For every bridesmaid/groomsman you add to the Bridal Party, you have to account for $$ to pay for dressesm gifts, and possibly hair.makeup.

---

Great suggestions!! I also agree about the negotiating w/RH in person. I've been e-mailing a lot of places just to see what they're prices are like. If they tell me $75pp over e-mail; i'm definetely going to see if i can get them down in person. I'm sure like you said they're not going to want to talk $$ over e-mail but at the same time i don't want to waste their time or mine meeting with them in person if i already know they're out of my budget.

and HA i also thought i could do something for $5K but now i'm seeing the reception alone with cost $5K!!

And I'm only have 1 MOH & 1 BM so hopefully that will keep bp costs low.

I have a large guest list and a small budget. I was as flexible as I could be with my date (in 2011 I am graduating college, my brother is graduating high school, my FH's father is retiring as well as my father, and my FH's older sister is also getting married so it's going to be a busy year)

I am having my wedding on a Thursday night over the summer. It took cost down from 170 a head to 65 a head! I am in love with my venue and at first I felt awkward about the Thursday thing but then I thought 'If I decided to get married at city hall on a Tuesday, everyone who mattered would show up'

Obviously you don't want to step on people's toes, but I am giving so much notice and just putting it into the whole 'it's a good excuse for a three day weekend' perspective.

Toy around with ideas like that and remember, flowers die, your vows are forever - that is what it is all about!!