ok, so I have a bunch of questions about this, but here is the background.
I live with my mom and dad. They live together, but hate each other. He does a lot of stupid stuff that I won't get into here. But I know what he does because i hear them fighting through the house and my mom tells me some other things. Most of the time, it is because he was drinking too much. And honestly, he has pretty much sucked as a father through my whole life.
We have sat down and talked about it, and he refuses to admit that there has ever been a problem or that our relationship is barely existing.
Now that I pretty much hate him and he is doing nothing to address my feelings or change, I don't want to go through the motions at the wedding with him. I don't want him walking me down the isle, father daughter dance or anything like that. But I don't want my mom to be left out. And I want to do a dance with her, and FH wants to dance with his mom. But I just don't know how to go about any of this, or if it is even possible.
I don't even know what i'm really asking, but i know if anyone is going to help me out with theis, its you guys
megzzie
Posted:
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Re: Wedding day Father problem (kinda long-sorry)
I'm so sorry you're going through this!
It's common for a mom to walk her daughter down the aisle and have a dance.
My uncle past away, so when my cousin got married, she danced with her mom. It was really nice.
Julybride08
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Re: Wedding day Father problem (kinda long-sorry)
Posted by LT708
The problem is that my dad still thinks there is no problem with him, that he is this great and wonderful father/husband (so far from it, it must be the alcohol talking) and I don't want to cause even more problems than there already is between him and my mom
Maybe once he hears that you don't want him to be a part of it he will realize. and maybe want to change. I would have my mom do it if you don't want your dad to do any of it. Its your wedding and you do what will make YOU happy.
kimnsteve
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Re: Wedding day Father problem (kinda long-sorry)
i have the ssame situation in my house ....i am having both of them walk me down the aisle ...and having seperate dance for both also ...i am also have like a lil speech for my mom ....with a poem ...then giving her my bo-k....to honor her
smjack
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Member since
Re: Wedding day Father problem (kinda long-sorry)
I am sorry that you have to go through this right now.... I think all the advice you have gotten so far is great. I do think that you should talk to your father about it. The last thing you want to do is leave things unresolved and have their be tension. I know the hardest thing is to say those first few sentences to start the conversation but once its out, i think everyone feels better.
as for walking down the aisle and tradition and all that, I say you do what makes you feel comfortable. You shouldn't worry about the tradition of it. My parents have been divorced since i was 3 so I am having both my parents walk me down, one on each side.
good luck and i am sure that things will work out just the way you want them!
LT708
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Re: Wedding day Father problem (kinda long-sorry)
Kim and Jennifer, I have never heard of that speech for mom and bo-k presentation. I really like that idea. That is a great way to give her some of the credit she deserves for being the strongest person i know (i'll probably start bawling with the first word )
And Kerry, I never thought of that. If I mention how I don't want him involved in any part of the wedding, he might finally realize how important it is to me for him to realize that there is a problem here. I've sat down with him to talk before, but the wedding day traditions that i don't want him to be a part of might really get to him and even help him to change
All of you girls are such a big help.
Thanks again to everyone! I love you girls
beachbum05
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Member since
Re: Wedding day Father problem (kinda long-sorry)
Lisa - hi there! Merry Merry and Happy New Year!
Ugh - family problems. We all have them. I think you're right in seeing his reaction to the news that he isn't going to be involved. Obviously, you want to curb as much drama as possible. While right NOW you might not want him to be involved, there'a a year+ before your day. Maybe I'm an optimist, but hey, things could get better!
If it doesn't (and I hope that isn't the case ), I agree with Jenn. I'd walk myself down the aisle and I wouldn't do the family dances at all.
But here's that everythng will work out before your wedding.
kimnsteve
Posted:
Member since
Re: Wedding day Father problem (kinda long-sorry)
do u have brothers that can walk u down the aisle???
