Wedding drama!! advice needed *UPDATED BELOW*

long story short.... my FH has these buddies from TX that he grew up with. 2 of them are invited to the wedding, 1 is not (FH doesn't like him and never did). So even though we sent out STD's, I guess this 1 guy assumed he was invited too.

you know how it is when there's a group of friends. you tolerate people by association, especially when you're in high school.

yesterday, FH's brother was hanging out with 1 of these guys and he told my FH's brother that the one that's not invited is coming to NY for the wedding

FH is SOOOOOO pissed off! now he has to figure out how to do damage control.

do you ladies have any advice?

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Posted by EmberLynn

Let your FH handle this. You DON'T want to get involved.

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You got it!

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Posted by BJandDan

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Posted by EmberLynn

Let your FH handle this. You DON'T want to get involved.

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You got it!

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I'm definitely not getting involved, I just wanted advice on how he should handle this. we are totally maxed out in terms of inviting anyone else. we're already over.

'I'm sorry for the misunderstanding but unfortunately, we are keeping our wedding to close family and friends.' There will definitely be hurt feelings but it can't be avoided. Good luck!

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Posted by jimmysgrl

'I'm sorry for the misunderstanding but unfortunately, we are keeping our wedding to close family and friends.' There will definitely be hurt feelings but it can't be avoided. Good luck!

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This sounds like that most diplomatic way to handle it!

What a bad situation...how can someone assume they are invited??

Good Luck to you and your FH

I would also let him deal with it.

Is it just me or do all of these 'friends' come out of the woodwork when it comes to weddings? Why does everyone assume they will be invited? I hate that. I see people at work getting all chummy on me all of a sudden. When I was asking for addresses, I was very discreet and asked people not to talk about it because we have a limited list. I dont know if that worked but I tried.

I think the only way to deal with this is directly. I would let him know a wedding on LI is expensive, and you can only invite close family and friends.

I have a similar situation. One of my co-workers thinks they are invited and they are not. When the invites go out, he'll know he's not invited. If I have to, I will be direct and honest.

Does it matter how your FH does this? Does he care if he never sees this dude again? that's what I ask myself. If I didn't speak to this person ever again in my life, does it matter what they think of you and how you 'said' it?

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Posted by M&LSept1606

I think the only way to deal with this is directly. I would let him know a wedding on LI is expensive, and you can only invite close family and friends.

I have a similar situation. One of my co-workers thinks they are invited and they are not. When the invites go out, he'll know he's not invited. If I have to, I will be direct and honest.

Does it matter how your FH does this? Does he care if he never sees this dude again? that's what I ask myself. If I didn't speak to this person ever again in my life, does it matter what they think of you and how you 'said' it?

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well, FH only sees him when he goes to TX, which isn't very often. But obviously after this, I don't think this guy will go out of his way to come see FH. No loss from FH's perspective.

there are so many other people we would invite before him, if we could.

this just escalated!

according to FH's sister in law, they already BOUGHT THEIR AIRLINE TICKETS!!!!!!!!

what the hell?! why do people ASSume?!

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Posted by dleeny

this just escalated!

according to FH's sister in law, they already BOUGHT THEIR AIRLINE TICKETS!!!!!!!!

what the hell?! why do people ASSume?!

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It sounds to me like invite or not (I mean, how could they ASSume? They didn't even get an STD!) you may have wedding crashers. I'm sorry! I know if it was my DH in this situation (world's biggest wimp when it came to telling people they weren't invited) he would havr them come.

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Posted by SomethingBlu

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Posted by dleeny

this just escalated!

according to FH's sister in law, they already BOUGHT THEIR AIRLINE TICKETS!!!!!!!!

what the hell?! why do people ASSume?!

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It sounds to me like invite or not (I mean, how could they ASSume? They didn't even get an STD!) you may have wedding crashers. I'm sorry! I know if it was my DH in this situation (world's biggest wimp when it came to telling people they weren't invited) he would havr them come.

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I already told my FH (who tends to be a softie) to stand his ground. there are 50 other people we would rather have at the wedding before this guy. He's got to tell him 'sorry man, we're having a small wedding and we're already way over'. I told him to add that if we get a lot no's, then we can add him and his wife.

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Posted by cjb88

maybe he will get a clue when he does not recieve an invite in the mail!!!

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That's what I was thinking. We had a similar situation with a woman that lives near us...not sure why she assumed she would be invited. Sad, but she figured it out.