Okay, so my wedding is about seven months away and I still don't have a dress. I am torn between a couple of dresses, but the biggest problem is me. I am my own worst critic. I am a plus size bride. I wear about a size 16 jeans so I have been trying on 16W and 18W dresses. They aren't so bad it's just that there are hardly any dresses out there with sleeves. It's like they don't exist anymore. Every dress is strapless or has spaghetti stirings. I don't like my fat arms.
I found a dress with short sleeves that is really beautiful with a gorgeous train. But I think I want to extend the sleeves to go past the elbow. I would just feel more comfortable if my arms were covered. But I am afraid that if they mess with the existing sleeves it will ruin the dress.
I am sorry I am babbling. Anyway, my question is do I ignore the critic in my head and go with the gorgeous dress that my sister and mother say I look great in, or do I get a strapless and try to find a bolero or other type of wedding jacket for it, or do I continue to look for a dress with the appropriate sleeves (which is extremely hard to find.)
I don't know I am just so confused. I have gone to so many different bridal stores and I think my inner voice is holding me back. HELP!
Ms Sawney
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Re: Wedding dress blues
I am sorry you are going through this stress what you can do is ask the dress maker how much it will cost to add sleeves to the gown you love or like alot if that doesn't work for you do a search online of wedding gowns with sleeves or that comes with a beautiful jacket. when you put your gown on you should feel its the one when you feel that way and you have everything you want go for it if not do not settle
NYCGirl2008
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Re: Wedding dress blues
There are beautiful lace wedding jackets available now that look amazing (and very stylish/trendy) ... so should you feel beautiful on your wedding day (which you will both look and feel) you have the option to take it off and have a strapless or spaghetti strapped gown underneath. If you don't feel great you could always leave it on ... I think that's what you should do. You will look amazing, trust your mom!
BunnyBears
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Re: Wedding dress blues
only you can be happy with your dress dont listen to others if u know its beautiful then u buy it if u compare every other dress to it then its it
any seamstress can add sleeves and fix what they mess up don't worry about that !
nifheim
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Re: Wedding dress blues
I am not a fan of showing my arms. I hate them in fact so much that I couldn't find a dress that was lace with sleeves that I liked on me.
So what I did in the end was purchase a dress that had a designer who customized the dress but it was still with in my budget. I had them make a balero jacket for me (see in my album) so i can wear it as much as I want and when I am dancing and really don't care about wearing it or my arms i can take it off.
You have to be very detailed in what you want and specific and if it is not your designer making your jacket but a seamstress all they would do is take the sleeve off and get more fabric to make it long and i honestly have to say it probably is the easiest of jobs to do on a dress. I think you will love it and be more importantly comftable in you dress.
mRm2008
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Re: Wedding dress blues
I am so sorry you are feeling the blues over getting your dress! I would do what makes you feel best as the bride. IMO you have a few options. I have seen MANY beautiful dresses w/ jackets! I have also seen brides wear a fur wrap or pashmina! Its your day, if you want to wear that over your gown for the entire time, who's to say that isn't right
Also, if you love a gown and it doesn't come with a jacket, ask them to order you about a yard and a half of matching fabric. If you know someone that sews or a seamstress in your area they can whip one up for you and it will match perfectly!!
Lots of luck Meg
bluekat16
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Re: Wedding dress blues
I'm a plus size bride also, but I haven't started loking for my dress. I know EXACTLY how you feel about the arms. I'm sorry that you are under stress about this all.
I looked online for the very limited 3/4 legnth sleeve and long sleeve options and there are sooo few, but I saw two options that I really liked.
Arlington - Blue by Enzoani, http://www.bluebyenzoani.com/
Style #921 - Anjolique, http://www.anjolique.com/
Hope this is of some help.
ON a personal note, I'm glad you posted this message becuase its helpful to hear everyone's suggestions before I even start heading out to the stores.
Good luck and just make sure you are happy with the dress.
GraceAndAdam
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Re: Wedding dress blues
try not to criticize yourself too much! You will look gorgeous, just try to have fun with picking out your dress! pick whichever dress you love and feel most beautiful in. And then I'm sure a seamstress could add sleeves if you feel more comfortable with them.
Future Mulligan
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Re: Wedding dress blues
dont be too hard on yourself - you are the bride and you are going to look gorgeous!
we all have parts of our bodies that we dont like - and if for you its your arms thats okay - you do have options.....what style dresses are you looking at? they have gorgeous lace boleros that look gorgeous on lace dresses and they also have plain bolero jackets to match dresses...you can even wear a wrap - my Mom is also concerned about her arms and she might have the seamstress have the wrap attached to the dress so it will stay around her arms without her having to hold it....maybe if you post some pictures of the style of dresses you like we can help you find something...
JoesFutureWife
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Re: Wedding dress blues
You are right by saying you are your own worst critic. So often we are so hard on ourselves that we lose sight of what's really important. In this case, the fact that no matter which dress you choose, you will be a beautiful bride!!! There's only one thing you're forgetting...almost any dress today can have sleeves added. The type of dress that makes this the easiest is a dress with some kind of strap such as a wide tank top strap. Because attatching the material for the sleeves will be easier. They can even add the crystals from the dress to match so it looks like it was always part of the dress. I'm not sure where you live but i do suggest making an appt with MaryEllen of Bay Shore Bridal Suite. She was able to look at my body and find a dress that complimented my shape. HTH if you need more info, fm me. GL!!!
lizzzie35
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Re: Wedding dress blues
Don't worry! You will find something! Because if you don't find something, there's no hope for me!! I am planning my wedding far in advance so I have time to lose weight because my biggest fear is not finding a dress that I love that won't fit right or won't have the sleeves to cover at least the top half of my arms. I know Davids Bridal has a selection of dresses that they can add sleeves to. I'm just really hoping that a seamstress will be able to add sleeves because most dresses these days are strapless. Best of luck and let us know what you end up choosing! You will look fabulous no matter what!
hyphenbride
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Re: Wedding dress blues
You need to get a dress that YOU like and will feel happy with. If you get one that your mom and sister like, but you don't, you may look great, but you'll feel awkward (which will not make you look great!). It's hard nowadays, since the style is dominantly strapless. I even had a hard time finding a dress with straps (which I insisted on, since I have nightmares of my chest popping out)! I have two suggestions:
1.) indiebride.com message boards have a lot of dress forums that talk about plus sized brides and how they found their dresses. A lot of the women use dress makers and there may be some designers there that you haven't heard of yet.
2.) I would suggest looking at bridal salons in areas with a high population of Orthodox Jews. I know Orthodox Jewish brides need to cover their arms and wear either jackets or dresses with sleeves. Do some calling around and ask if they have what you need or can work with you!
HamptonsBride
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Re: Wedding dress blues
I am sure you look beautiful in the dress and are being very critical of yourself...however when you see yourself in your dress you should love how you look! ShortyMcBride an 07 bride had a beautiful Maggie dress with sleeves that went past the elbows...maybe if you can try this style on it will help you decide??? Good luck and don't be so hard on yourself!!
Pic of Shorty McBride (Nicole) in her dress...
Just found another bride with 3/4 sleeves! plunker8 on the 07 boards..
SummerBride10
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Re: Wedding dress blues
I hate how ALL dresses are completely strapless now! I have big arms and broad shoulders that need to be hidden somehow
Maybe you can find a place that will add sleeves on for you? I was thinking of doing something like that if I find a beautiful dress that was strapless
oldladybride
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Re: Wedding dress blues
I too know how you feel. I actually found my dress at Estelle's dressy dresses in Farmingdale. Now I wanted a short sleeve but I think they had longer too. If you see a style you like but not your size, they said they can order for you but i bought mine off the rack.
Also someone on this site mentioned this site: http://mydreamweddingdresses.com/
they have plus size and modest dresses and another category for jackets. I don't know any more about this site - - it's reputation, problems what have you other than the girl seemed to like it. you might want to search here for her original post. Anyway, HTH
MrsK2008
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Re: Wedding dress blues
Oh sugar, you can have sleeves added to just about every style, or a sleeve shrug!
disneefan
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Re: Wedding dress blues
Thank you everyone for all your support and kind words.
I know I can have sleeves added to any dress which is probably what I will end up doing. I just want to make sure that it doesn't change the look of the dress too much and that the sleeves actually match the beadwork and design on the dress.
This is one of the dresses I am looking at from David's. I think I want to extend the sleeves though.
There is also this sample dress from Burton's that has like tank top straps that I can add sleeves to. I don't know. I am very confused right now but I will hopefully figure it out very soon.
I hope you find something that you absolutely love! Keep us posted on what you find! Best Wishes, Meg
LuckyMe
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Re: Wedding dress blues
Im a plus size bride too and I felt the same way you do until I tried on THE gown. Iam a size 18 also so I was so unhappy about not fitting into sample dresses and I hate seeing myself in the mirror, etc. I put it in my mind the day I went dress shopping that I would try on everything, even what I thought would be ridiculous and then it happened the very first dress I put on was THE dress. It is strapless(which I was dead set against). Try on everything is my advice and go shopping on a good mood day and just have fun with it and you'll know if you found it or not. No one will have to talk you into it or out of it. Good Luck
I am sure you look beautiful in the dress and are being very critical of yourself...however when you see yourself in your dress you should love how you look! ShortyMcBride an 07 bride had a beautiful Maggie dress with sleeves that went past the elbows...maybe if you can try this style on it will help you decide??? Good luck and don't be so hard on yourself!!
Pic of Shorty McBride (Nicole) in her dress...
Acually I know just how you feel about finding a dress with sleeves or a jacket.. I have the same gown as ShortyMcBride (Maggie Sottero's Rosemary Leigh) and it has 3/4 sleeves already on it. I love it and I'm a size 24!
There are many options- I got my gown from Lillette's in Baldwin and they have options where for a little more can add sleeves to a gown and/or have a jacket made.
Don't feel bad if you have a bridal shop add on sleeves to a strapless gown either- I was also very picky and need to have sleeves on my gown (because it's a Jewish ceremony as well as I hate my arms as well).
If you have any questions feel free to FM me.
Edit: I just wanted to add links of other designers that offer plus size gowns with sleeves/jackets:
