Wedding Etiquette - Gifts - Please Help

summerbride20 Posted: Sep 01, 2009 11:21 PM

Wedding Etiquette - Gifts - Please Help

If you are going to a destination elopement (just a ceremony, no reception) where you have to spend 1/4th of your own meager wedding budget just to attend, (when you don't even have a job)- what do you do about giving a gift? Any suggestions?

kellylee418 Posted: Sep 01, 2009 11:27 PM

Re: (Long) Wedding Etiquette - Gifts - Please Help

Hmmm.... I would think you still need to give a gift. Thats prob. not what you want to hear but maybe you can give them something other than $.

For instance, I got a basket of wine bottles at my shower that I LOVE that has a different bottle of wine for each big moment in our lives like first dinner party, first fight, etc. Each had a little saying that went with it as well. It keeps the cost of your gift down but is still something nice that they can enjoy.

Nina1010 Posted: Sep 01, 2009 11:41 PM

Re: (Long) Wedding Etiquette - Gifts - Please Help

I would still give a gift. Or I would opt not to go to the wedding, giving the lack of funds, they should understand, and give them a nice gift instead.

springsandra Posted: Sep 01, 2009 11:43 PM

Re: (Long) Wedding Etiquette - Gifts - Please Help

You have up until their first anniversary to give a gift. Why don't you give them a card for now and write something in it about how you are still searching for something appropriate and they'll get it during their newlywed year? Then you can also gauge how your finances are after your wedding and your other friend's wedding.

summerbride20 Posted: Sep 01, 2009 11:48 PM

Re: (Long) Wedding Etiquette - Gifts - Please Help

Thanks for the advice so far. I love the wine bottle gift idea, but it might be difficult getting 8-10 bottles shipped with me to vegas. Any other gift ideas?

FutureJOC Posted: Sep 02, 2009 07:21 AM

Re: Wedding Etiquette - Gifts - Please Help

Posted by springsandra

You have up until their first anniversary to give a gift. Why don't you give them a card for now and write something in it about how you are still searching for something appropriate and they'll get it during their newlywed year? Then you can also gauge how your finances are after your wedding and your other friend's wedding.

I agree... I would wait until after the wedding to give a gift.

kris_gets_hitched Posted: Sep 02, 2009 08:02 AM

Re: Wedding Etiquette - Gifts - Please Help

I'd definitely take advantage of the old-school rule of 'you have a year to give a gift'.

You can always give them the wine basket when they're back home! Also along those lines would be a wine-of-the-month club.

halfbaked Posted: Sep 02, 2009 09:24 AM

Re: Wedding Etiquette - Gifts - Please Help

Posted by kris_gets_hitched

I'd definitely take advantage of the old-school rule of 'you have a year to give a gift'.

You can always give them the wine basket when they're back home! Also along those lines would be a wine-of-the-month club.

Ditto, you have a year to send it!

jcreilly Posted: Sep 02, 2009 09:33 AM

Re: Wedding Etiquette - Gifts - Please Help

I would give the gift when you come home or honstly I would buy a card and just give them a check but thats me, but not a lot!

Tracey1979 Posted: Sep 02, 2009 09:41 AM

Re: Wedding Etiquette - Gifts - Please Help

They are making people come to Vegas and aren't even paying to take you to dinner or anything?

summerbride20 Posted: Sep 02, 2009 09:46 AM

Re: Wedding Etiquette - Gifts - Please Help

Posted by Tracey1979

They are making people come to Vegas and aren't even paying to take you to dinner or anything?

Nope...

Corinne Ann Posted: Sep 02, 2009 10:11 AM

Re: Wedding Etiquette - Gifts - Please Help

honestly i wouldnt go.... not now.... with all the $$ you need to be saving for your own wedding... i would just send a gift (whatever you can afford)

ourwedding9510 Posted: Sep 02, 2009 10:16 AM

Re: Wedding Etiquette - Gifts - Please Help

Posted by Corinne Ann

honestly i wouldnt go.... not now.... with all the $$ you need to be saving for your own wedding... i would just send a gift (whatever you can afford)

I agree with this but if you HAVE to go (like a sister or someone you are REALLY close to) I would think they would understand that you are coming to Vegas during planning your wedding and not working and you just simply can't afford to give a gift. There is probably something you can do that is DIY and you can give that to them. I was tight for money at one of my friends weddings (and in the bridal party) so instead of a gift I made the 'bathroom baskets' for her instead and it was VERY convinient and she didn't have to worry about that. They are going to Vegas to 'elope' and not taking you to dinner or anything afterwards so it's not like 'they have to make their money back'. I think a simple card with an 'IOU' would be fine.

marinai7 Posted: Sep 02, 2009 10:20 AM

Re: Wedding Etiquette - Gifts - Please Help

I just re-read it - so it's only a ceremony and no reception? If it's really that expensive for you to go, I would just not go (unless it's someone you're really close with and you have to go). If you do have to go, I would just give a card and something small off the registry (if they're registered) or wine like someone suggested. I can't imagine they're expecting huge gifts especially if you have to travel there an there is no reception. Good Luck.

EsquireBride Posted: Sep 02, 2009 10:23 AM

Re: Wedding Etiquette - Gifts - Please Help

I wouldn't go the wedding in the first place.

Mrs Z To Be Posted: Sep 02, 2009 10:25 AM

Re: Wedding Etiquette - Gifts - Please Help

Posted by EsquireBride

I wouldn't go the wedding in the first place.

ITA.

We had to decline a destination wedding due to finances,..

we still gave them a $100 check though....But that was a heck of a lot cheaper than paying for tickets, food, and then the gift on top of that.