Wedding Gift

FH & I have a wedding to go to for FHs friend.

They live on LI but are getting married in Pennsylvania. We have been debating what we should give as a gift.. FH thinks we should give less than usual (I would've given $300 since its a somewhat close friend) since we have to drive to Pennsylvania and stay at a hotel. Do you factor in travel expenses when going to a wedding?? help!!

TIA

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Posted by FutureMrsGTL

FH & I have a wedding to go to for FHs friend.

They live on LI but are getting married in Pennsylvania. We have been debating what we should give as a gift.. FH thinks we should give less than usual (I would've given $300 since its a somewhat close friend) since we have to drive to Pennsylvania and stay at a hotel. Do you factor in travel expenses when going to a wedding?? help!!

TIA

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It depends on how much the other stuff costs as well as how close? were you invited to the shower/bparty...

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Posted by AngnShaun

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Posted by FutureMrsGTL

FH & I have a wedding to go to for FHs friend.

They live on LI but are getting married in Pennsylvania. We have been debating what we should give as a gift.. FH thinks we should give less than usual (I would've given $300 since its a somewhat close friend) since we have to drive to Pennsylvania and stay at a hotel. Do you factor in travel expenses when going to a wedding?? help!!

TIA

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It depends on how much the other stuff costs as well as how close? were you invited to the shower/bparty...

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FH has been friends with the groom since they were kids.. I wasn't invited to the shower or anything I don't know the bride, I think FH and I met the bride once. FH was invited to the bachelor party but couldn't make it.

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Posted by FutureMrsGTL

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Posted by AngnShaun

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Posted by FutureMrsGTL

FH & I have a wedding to go to for FHs friend.

They live on LI but are getting married in Pennsylvania. We have been debating what we should give as a gift.. FH thinks we should give less than usual (I would've given $300 since its a somewhat close friend) since we have to drive to Pennsylvania and stay at a hotel. Do you factor in travel expenses when going to a wedding?? help!!

TIA

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It depends on how much the other stuff costs as well as how close? were you invited to the shower/bparty...

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FH has been friends with the groom since they were kids.. I wasn't invited to the shower or anything I don't know the bride, I think FH and I met the bride once. FH was invited to the bachelor party but couldn't make it.

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I'd probably do $200 - $250

I voted for $200 because of a few factors...

1. My step-sister and her husband were married in Pennsylvania. They do weddings A LOT DIFFERENTLY there than they do here on Long Island. They say to make sure when giving a wedding gift that you cover your plate...which, IMO, $200 for the both of you will cover it and more.

2. You do have to factor in that you are traveling and that is an added expense. They will def. appreciate and realize that you went out of your way to make their wedding.

3. You do not know the bride and are not as involved in the wedding details, so $200 should be just fine.

HTH

p.s. I went to a wedding in pittsburgh, pa -- instead of having a cocktail hour, the tradition there was for the families to bring cookies in leu of a cocktail hour. No hot food. Yikes!! Also, the bar closed when introductions and first dances and all that was happening, so if people wanted a drink, they had to go to the cash bar at the hotel. lol.

I wouldnt not factor in the hotel costs into your wedding gift. It's a gift. They are paying per plate and you are going to celebrate with them and give a gift towards their future as a couple. It is your decision to go to the wedding.

Give the whole gift!! It will come back to you!

XX

it depends... we just went to a wedding in york and gave them $100 but they also gave us a bunch of random stuff for our wedding totalling $20 in value. the other friends at our wedding from york gave us $40 for them and their dates....


eta: i also knew that they weren't spending very much money per person so $100 covered us both plus some

My sister got married in the Bahamas & you would not believe the amount of money she got.

EMBARASSING!!!!!!!

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Posted by jetersgirl216

My sister got married in the Bahamas & you would not believe the amount of money she got.

EMBARASSING!!!!!!!

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i think that's a little different... people have to pay THOUSANDS of dollars to go to a wedding there, and people who don't go to weddings don't generally give as much as they would if they went. i think if you decide to have a destination wedding you should expect to get significantly less money in gifts than you would if you had a wedding at home!

you're not supposed to give a gift just to cover your plate ... you're supposed to give a gift because you're celebrating that person's wedding and you're happy for them!

if you can afford $250, that's what i'd give (a little less than the 'normal' $300 because of your driving and hotel expenses). otherwise, $200 is fine too.

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Posted by AwaitingAugust

you're not supposed to give a gift just to cover your plate ... you're supposed to give a gift because you're celebrating that person's wedding and you're happy for them!

if you can afford $250, that's what i'd give (a little less than the 'normal' $300 because of your driving and hotel expenses). otherwise, $200 is fine too.

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ITA... I dont want to just 'cover our plates' we made a choice to go to an out of state wedding and I don't want to be cheap as im learning very quickly weddings are costly no matter what the per plate is!

It has always been my opinion that you should give what you can afford. You do not want to go broke because you gave someone a wedding gift that you thought would be impressive. As the fact that you are driving to PA & staying at a hotel has nothing to do with the wedding gift. When you replied Yes you knew where the wedding was being held.

And to the person who said, you get back what you give, thats not always the case. Sometimes it happens, but more often it doesn't happen.

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Posted by hartleyalana117

I wouldnt not factor in the hotel costs into your wedding gift. It's a gift. They are paying per plate and you are going to celebrate with them and give a gift towards their future as a couple. It is your decision to go to the wedding.

Give the whole gift!! It will come back to you!

XX

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I agree! They invited you b/c they want you there but would understand if you could not make it. Plus...are you inviting them to your wedding? How much do you want to see in your envelope? I keept track of all the gifts from the engagement party and wedding. We have wedding coming up..you get what you give. Unless of course you are in a bind.

Thats very true.. thanks for all the great advice girls... now I just need to convince FH to stop being a cheap-o!

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Posted by MrsHandsome2Be

i would give the same amount i would give even if i didn't have to travel if it was a close friend IMO

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ITA