Wedding Gift question

Danielle2207 Posted: Jun 28, 2005 08:38 AM

Wedding Gift question

Just a question. If you are unable to attend to someone's wedding who your are not really that close with, should you send a gift?

Soccer_Girl Posted: Jun 28, 2005 08:43 AM

Re: Wedding Gift question

I think you should send a gift, but depending on how close you are depends on how much you should spend.

Tough question since I think some people send out invites to people they know won't be able to attend just so they get stuff.

That I think is just wrong.

Danielle2207 Posted: Jun 28, 2005 08:46 AM

Re: Wedding Gift question

It is a friend of my FH that he hasn't spoken to in over a year. Now unfortunatley we cannot go to the wedding because of a prior engagement. We are inviting them to our wedding now mostly because we got invited to theirs. We were shocked that we even got an invitation.

suven Posted: Jun 28, 2005 08:50 AM

Re: Wedding Gift question

We sent invites to people we knew couldn't make it because they were close to us. It wasn't an issue of wanting a gift, but more of an etiquette issue. If we were going to invite 2 siblings, but knew the 3rd couldn't make it, the proper way to handle it was to still invite all 3.

I doubt you were sent the invite soley in the hopes of a gift.

But, etiquette says that you are not obligated to send a gift for an event that you cannot attend. It's a nice thing to do.

For us, we give what we were given at our wedding. In the past, I had always sent gifts, even when I couldnt' attend. And, would you believe, most of those people sent us nothing!

So, now we are a lot more frugal with gift giving.

DayBeforeThanksgiving Posted: Jun 28, 2005 08:52 AM

Re: Wedding Gift question

If I can't make it to a wedding, I usually give a gift off of their registry or something like that,not money.

piat79 Posted: Jun 28, 2005 08:56 AM

Re: Wedding Gift question

I dont understand why people think that just because they were invited to a wedding, they must send a gift if they cant attend.

I think it's ridiculous that people think it's odd if they dont get a gift from somone who couldnt attend their wedding.

I think that you should send a gift only if you want to, but not feel like you are obligated to do so.

BlondeJD Posted: Jun 28, 2005 08:59 AM

Re: Wedding Gift question

I sent a gift to a co-worker whose wedding I couldn't attend. The total was about $125. We aren't 'close' but we do hang out occasionally and she's coming to my wedding. I did the same for another co-worker who got married out of state as well.

SeptWed Posted: Jun 28, 2005 09:25 AM

Re: Wedding Gift question

I just sent a gift to a friend who made it to my wedding that i cannot make to hers...i sent her back the same amount.

In the past i have used my discretion on when to send a gift. If i can't go and am close to the person i have sent a gift, but i have been invited to two weddings that i didn't really talk to the people and sent nothing.

As for my wedding, we got gifts from a lot of people who could not make it - some of it money and some of it off our registry. I think there were maybe 2-4 that did not send anything to us and those people we are not very close to so i totally understood.

LFitzy79 Posted: Jun 28, 2005 09:30 AM

Re: Wedding Gift question

Posted by DayBeforeThanksgiving

If I can't make it to a wedding, I usually give a gift off of their registry or something like that,not money.

That's a nice idea, I usually send money, less than what I would have given if I had attended...but I like the idea of a registry gift!

july06bride Posted: Jun 28, 2005 10:32 AM

Re: Wedding Gift question

i am glad you asked this question, cause i have the same dilemma... a 'friends' wedding in DEL. that i havent seen in about two years and i havent spoken to her in about a year, I dont know if i should send anything, i wasnt planning on inviting her to my wedding...

i personally think it is a case by case thing... if it were someone you were very close to and couldnt go to the wedding i would send a gift, but if you are wondering why you are even invited to begin with, MAYBE you can give a small registry gift or a small monetary gift...or nothing

Danielle2207 Posted: Jun 29, 2005 10:03 AM

Re: Wedding Gift question

Thanks ladies. I decided i am going to send a gift off their registry.

LaLa Posted: Jun 29, 2005 10:17 AM

Re: Wedding Gift question

I think you should send a gift.

SuzBride Posted: Jun 29, 2005 10:20 AM

Re: Wedding Gift question

I think it depends on the relations. If I couldn't attend a close friend/family members wedding, I would still get them a large gift/contribution. For an individual who I was less close with, I would still definitely send a card congratulating them and perhaps a small gift (unless it was clear I was B/C list, then maybe just a card )

cjik Posted: Jun 29, 2005 10:28 AM

Re: Wedding Gift question

I agree, a gift should be sent, but it could be less since you are not that close. Or are they registered? You could choose an item from the registry.