Wedding Gifts

I was wondering if anyone has an idea of the best way (if there is one) to request monetary donations instead of creating a wedding registry. My fiance and I have had a house for the last 4 years, and really don`t need any gifts, but could use some help with finances. Is this a tacky thing to do? Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

What we did.......

we wrote a funny poem to go with my shower invites. Hopefully people will get the idea. We live together also, so there's nothing we need.. except money! Lisa

Wedding gifts...

In general, I don't think it's appropriate to 'request' money as your gift of choice. While money is sometimes the 'traditional' gift at weddings, other guests might like to have a choice. It is up to your guests to decide what they would like to give at your shower or wedding, and you should be gracious to accept whatever they choose. Having a registry certainly makes it easier for everyone. But, if you don't want to register for household items, consider registering at a non-conventional store like sporting goods, home depot or something else that you think you might need/enjoy more. I think it is in very poor taste to put a request for money in writing. In the very least, have your family tell guests about your desire for monetary gifts, or have them suggest gift certificates to an alternative store (as suggested above). But, this suggestion should only be made by your family if the guest ASKS! Check out Emily Post's rules on etiquette... http://www.emilypost.com/etiquette_index.htm Good luck!

W.O.M. is the only acceptable way to *suggest* cash gifts..

Word of mouth. I agree with Claud that it is very poor taste to put it in writing, particularly in the Northeast! We got just one non-cash gift for our wedding, a beautiful Waterford bowl that my sister gave me from her 3 children that were in my wedding party because she wanted us to always remember it's from the kids (they picked it out & were so excited! but I digress...lol) Anyway, you'll more than likely get money for your wedding. But, for your shower, you definitely should register. Even if it's for your honeymoon (I've seen this somewhere). Do you already have your china, silver & crystal? If you don't register, you're likely to get 3 toasters, 4 crockpots, or worse... Good luck!

How About a Honeymoon Registry...

I totally understand where you're coming from. Me & my FI live together & have a house too. But it's true - a lot of people think it's in poor taste and will take offense. What about a honeymoon registry? There are websites like Honeyluna.com (I think) that set up a registry for airfare, hotel upgrades, activities to do on your honeymoon, etc. Since sites like this charge about 10% of what you receive, I'm going to create a wedding website and include registry information on it. There I'm going to post contact information for my travel agent and give her a list of things I want and work it that way.

Home Depot

I agree about the word of mouth...but please think about why you want money for wedding gifts. Is your wedding costing too much? Just something I am doing. I am acting like no one will get me anything for the wedding (but yes I did register ;) ) and their gift will be spending this day with me. that way anything I do get will be extra and a surprise.

Don't tell anyone you want money...

if they ask. I had a friend do this and it totally offended me. So much so, that I bought her a gift instead of giving her cash! Here's an idea, upgrade appliances. Register for the Kitchen Aid you can't afford on your own, etc. If not, the honeymoon registry is a great idea. Asking for money can seem rude.

Don`t tell anyone you want money...

It is just rude. Also, you should never include registery information in your wedding invitation. Well, the truth is your registery info should not be included in your shower invite either, but everyone does it so it is up to you. Most people will call your Mom or sisters or BMs to RSVP and usually ask about where you are registered. I know that some of my close family asked me when I first got engaged where I was going to register. Not everyone likes to give money. Register for a variety of things, special lines, kitchen gadgets, Christmas/ Holiday China, folding chairs, beautiful tableclothes (that you would never buy for yourself). Try to include a variety of price ranges sot that all of your guests can get you things from it. Close family will probably know that you need money and may give it to you for that reason. But asking for it is rude.

Wedding gifts

Thank you all so much for your responses. After reading them, I realized how rude it would be to ask for money outright. I will talk to my fiancee about registering for a few household items we might not buy for ourselves. The honeymoon registry is also a great idea. I never thought of that! Thanks again.