I just received a response from my very close cousin that her and her husband will not be able to attend my wedding. I knew that she was not able to go because she had planned a vacation with her IL's for the holiday weekend way before I got engaged. I actually tried to change my wedding date to accommodate them once she told me, but I couldn't. That is not the issue because we knew she could not make it. I was just wondering if she should have sent a present with her response. I have to admit that I was totally expecting one. FH said he did not think that we would get one since they can't make the wedding. Now his cousin is getting married a week after us and we can not make their wedding because we will be on our HM, and I said to him, 'what do you think we are not giving them a present?'. The gift is not because we went to the wedding and we need to cover our plate, it is a present because we love you and would like to give you something to say congrats! At least that is the way I look at it. I definitely was completely shocked that she did not send anything. Am I wrong to feel this way? Would you girls have expected a present from your family member (CLOSE family) if they could not make your wedding?
tracy2246
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Re: Wedding Present
Some people send gifts after they send the response or closer to the wedding date it self. I know that is what we do if we can not mak ethe wedding-
GabrielleandJohn
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Re: Wedding Present
No, I don't expect presents from people who don't come. Times are tough for people and they may not be able to afford a present right before their wedding.
leshellem
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Re: Wedding Present
I would personally send a gift whether I was going or not, but not everyone thinks that way. I don 't think a gift is the only way someone says I love you. I wouldn't be upset about it. You be surprise how many people show up to weddings without a gift.
NovemberBride06
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Re: Wedding Present
I understand how you feel. We have gotten a few no's and no gift from people that 'should' have given something. We didn't even get a card. And these are people that are close family, friends and people that we gave a nice gift to them for their wedding recently. What can you do? If people don't want to give a gift, you can't make them!
I am definitely disappointed in a lot of people these days!
drpepper318
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Re: Wedding Present
Yeah I totally understand your feelings! I'd be surprised too. But, they still might send a gift with a card closer to your wedding date. So I'd just wait it out and see what happens.
neener1211
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never expect a present...because when you get them, they will that much more exciting and rewarding...
Michy
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She may end up sending one at a later date. I don't think I would mind if she did not give me a gift b/c they are not going to be there. If someone responded yes and never showed up than I would expect something b/c you paid for their plate and they never showed.
Tiggeruth
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Re: Wedding Present
Maybe she will be sending you a card seperately. I think that people do that, they RSVP no, but then will still send you a nice wedding card seperately. Plus on all technical accounts people have 1 year to give you a present so I wouldn't assume you aren't getting a present just because it didn't arrive wiht the RSVP.
jenn122397
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Re: Wedding Present
well maybe they will send a present when it gets closer to the wedding. I know i would have done that.
DandS
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Re: Wedding Present
I know for a fact the people will show up to the wedding and not give us a present, and I will not be shocked because I know some people will not be able to. I want people to be there because they love us and want to celebrate this day with us, not to get presents. But my cousin I am shocked at. They definitely CAN afford to give us something. They own a multi-million dollar company and actually FH works for her husband. I don't know why this is bothering me. I think that more then the present I am upset that they did not even write anything on the response card. Not 'congrats' or 'we will miss you but have a great day', nothing! I just feel like they treated me like I was just a friend they were saying no to. You have to understand my family is VERY close. We get together every Sunday night for pasta night (60 of us). Her and I grew up together. She was my sponsor for Confirmation, so she treats me like I am her godchild.
Oh well, I am not going to let it get to me too much. I am sure their was a reason for it. Thanks for letting me vent!!!
TnOiOnL
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Re: Wedding Present
She probably sent back the response card as a no so you know shes not coming, but will most likely give you something when she SEES you... From what it sounds like- being very close, and wealthy, im SURE they will give you a gift.. Probably wont mail it though...
Either way, I never expect gifts, when theyre recieved its just that much more special!
TreAnt425
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Re: Wedding Present
When I responed no to a wedding a sent a gift the week of the wedding
stephanielyse
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Re: Wedding Present
I usually send a gift separate from the response, closer to the actual wedding date. But some people don't send gifts if they don't go. Just wait and see.
DandS
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Re: Wedding Present
I know you are all right and I should wait to see what happens after the wedding, I guess I was just shocked at first when I got her response. Thank you for letting me vent and basically calming me down. I was so upset before (more so about how she just checked off 'will not be able to attend' and did not write anything), but now I know I should wait until the wedding day.
