Wedding vs. Marriage

Does anyone else agree that the marriage is more important than the wedding? and that there should be more focus on getting ready and preparing for the lifelong marriage and less on the one day?

I would love to hear everyone's thoughts on this... because it seems that sometimes people get out of hand for one day and I honestly don't understand it!

Re: Wedding vs. Marriage

I agree 100%. We as brides (myself included) worry about the slightest little details but ultimately those dont matter- whats important is that you and FH are uniting in one and starting your lives together.

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Well of course.

Wedding is one day. But, in defense of those that do get out of hand, its the one day that is the gateway to the rest of your marriage. Of course the marriage is more important. I would rather have a $100 wedding on the beach with 10 people and a happy, long and fruitful marriage as opposed to a 60k wedding and a miserable marriage.

I do think sometimes people lose sight of the big picture. Because Marriage 'should' be forever. And wedding is one day..but again....one very special, important, life joining, binding day.

But how well can you really prepare for marriage? I mean..besides Pre-Cana and FOCCUS, and maybe counseling and books. Marriage is something that has to be worked on everyday. Its a learning experience and we learn and love more as we go. I think thats what makes the marriage strong. Just like parenting...there is no book or Doctor to remedy your issues...its all about you.

So while yes...marriage is much more important...you can only prepare so much for it. The rest is trial and error, and it has to be worked on every day. As for the wedding..Ha..I'm sure thats easier to plan than the marriage!!

Sorry Nina..I'm not even answering your question..I'm bored in my contemporary legal issues class and I'm just typing off thoughts

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No this helps, Nina!
I am more just bringing up discussion, because I think its important for us to think about these things...


I agree with you and you analyzed that quite well!
Your professor would be proud!


I guess I also am in that phase where I am realizing I don't want to go all out and then reading some posts where people do (but of course, everyone has different incomes and can afford the $8,000 gowns...)

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You are taking alot of law classes, do you want to go to law school?

Also, I agree that there is no real way to prepare for marriage... FH and I did the pre-cana and FOCCUS and did not really find it helpful....

And obviously everyone is going to say the marriage is more important but I do think some people lose sight of the marriage and then when they are done with the wedding planning and the wedding has passed, they have a lot of damage control to do with their now DH.

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I think marriage is much more important than a wedding. I am so thrilled for the wedding, but much more excited for the marriage, since for starters my FH and i can finally (ahem) do certain thigns that we have not done since we are not man and wife.

I think ppl get caught up in the wedding because they DO believe and intend to remain married forever, so they know that they can never have another wedding, and they give the planning and the details all their energy Thats how i look at it...

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I agree... and I am not judging those who go all out for their special day... I guess FH and I are just WAY more excited about starting our lives together than the stresses of the one day....

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Well ...I got accepted to UNM Law in the fall.
But...um....I've kind of decided I'm not interested anymore. But I'm fickle, that might change next week

You know what I think Nina, the fact that you think already about not going all out and realize whats important...thats all you need Still have your wedding day..but when you start to get all stressed or bridezilla about things...just think of the big picture

Lately, I've woke up in the mornings when I have not spoken with Peter for awhile and I'm like 'Screw this whole big wedding thing, I DO want ten people on a beach. I dont' care about the wedding, so long as I'm with him!'

And that is whats important. Of course I hope on LIW later and snap out of it...but so long as you know in your heart what is most important.....you can do whatever you want with your wedding

and ps....my teacher thinks i'm taking super notes right about now!!

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Posted by NinaChris07

I agree... and I am not judging those who go all out for their special day... I guess FH and I are just WAY more excited about starting our lives together than the stresses of the one day....

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And thats the way it should be......and at least you know whats important

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I totally and completely agrree that the marriage is so much more important than the wedding day!! it has to be! i think so many people get caught up in planning the wedding, they forget about the true meaning of marriage.... it is something that must be worked on everyday for the rest of your life. i am lucky in the fact that FH agrees with me that marriage is a sacrament and we are earrgerly awaiting that time when we will be married.... in fact, most days, we just want the engagement to be over and just start our lives together.

I do believe that planning a wedding should be a fun, joyous time for couples, but it can't take away what you're getting yourself into.... it's ONE day.... not 40 years or more!

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Posted by Nina

Well ...I got accepted to UNM Law in the fall.
But...um....I've kind of decided I'm not interested anymore. But I'm fickle, that might change next week

You know what I think Nina, the fact that you think already about not going all out and realize whats important...thats all you need Still have your wedding day..but when you start to get all stressed or bridezilla about things...just think of the big picture

Lately, I've woke up in the mornings when I have not spoken with Peter for awhile and I'm like 'Screw this whole big wedding thing, I DO want ten people on a beach. I dont' care about the wedding, so long as I'm with him!'

And that is whats important. Of course I hope on LIW later and snap out of it...but so long as you know in your heart what is most important.....you can do whatever you want with your wedding

and ps....my teacher thinks i'm taking super notes right about now!!

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Exactly, we all go through those phases and now is when I am going through mine!

But I did think it was an interesting subject to discuss!

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Marriage is definitely more important

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I agree 10000%. as much planning as we put into this...I am not doing all the little specific projects because it doesnt mean anything to me. I want the marriage and being a wife, mother, and having a successful life. the wedding is just a celebration of the start of all the wonderful things to come!!

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Posted by Nina

Well ...I got accepted to UNM Law in the fall.
But...um....I've kind of decided I'm not interested anymore. But I'm fickle, that might change next week

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That's awesome Nina!
Would you go there for all three years or transfer? (bc I think you guys are moving to NY?

If you have ANY questions about law school, FM me - I have been through three years of the torture!!!

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Posted by lilred13

I agree 10000%. as much planning as we put into this...I am not doing all the little specific projects because it doesnt mean anything to me. I want the marriage and being a wife, mother, and having a successful life. the wedding is just a celebration of the start of all the wonderful things to come!!

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I agree too!!

Can't wait to be married! and start our life together and start on all our goals!

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yes i agree! and every now and then i put myself in check!!!! the wedding is very impt to me bc in reality i do not ever want another one........i guess i put my heart and soul into everything!

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I totally agree! That's part of the reason I wanted a DW so badly, the wedding, spending all the money, it really doesn't matter. We've been together for 8 years already, we know each other very well and we've asked the hard questions, where will we live? how we want to live? kids? how many? how we'll raise them, finances and who'll handle those. I think we've taken everything into consideration but I would feel more comfortable if we did take some kind of marriage class or something.

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Posted by NinaChris07

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Posted by lilred13

I agree 10000%. as much planning as we put into this...I am not doing all the little specific projects because it doesnt mean anything to me. I want the marriage and being a wife, mother, and having a successful life. the wedding is just a celebration of the start of all the wonderful things to come!!

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I agree too!!

Can't wait to be married! and start our life together and start on all our goals!

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If I decide to go....it is three years....
But I'm still undecided. I just found out last week I was accepted.
This is what I've wanted to do all my life..and all of a sudden..I'm not sure its for me..I hate this feeling

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Posted by Nina

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Posted by NinaChris07

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Posted by lilred13

I agree 10000%. as much planning as we put into this...I am not doing all the little specific projects because it doesnt mean anything to me. I want the marriage and being a wife, mother, and having a successful life. the wedding is just a celebration of the start of all the wonderful things to come!!

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I agree too!!

Can't wait to be married! and start our life together and start on all our goals!

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If I decide to go....it is three years....
But I'm still undecided. I just found out last week I was accepted.
This is what I've wanted to do all my life..and all of a sudden..I'm not sure its for me..I hate this feeling

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Well congrats!!!

FM me if you have questions about law school life and getting a job out of law school, etc bc its basically the same everywhere!

Re: Wedding vs. Marriage

Well congrats!!!

FM me if you have questions about law school life and getting a job out of law school, etc bc its basically the same everywhere!

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Thanks Nina