weekday church rehearsal problems

lpk586 Posted: Jan 27, 2010 02:01 PM

weekday church rehearsal problems

Haven't even booked a venue yet and in throwing around dates to friends and family, we're already getting moans and groans about the church rehearsal being at 4 on the Thursday before a Friday night wedding. We'd love to do a Sat but can't afford it. Besides, evidently my church only has rehearsals on Thursdays! I do have out of town BMs and know it's annoying. I def get it, but what can I do? Is this unusual and way too much to ask?

halfbaked Posted: Jan 27, 2010 02:32 PM

Re: weekday church rehearsal problems

I'd try to make it a little later, maybe 6 or 7 PM?

AngnShaun Posted: Jan 27, 2010 02:33 PM

Re: weekday church rehearsal problems

like jill said... the only issue would be to make it later...

brittndave Posted: Jan 27, 2010 02:34 PM

Re: weekday church rehearsal problems

i would make it later. if you have oot bms then they would have to take 2 whole days off of work for a 4 p.m. rehearsal

lpk586 Posted: Jan 27, 2010 02:37 PM

Re: weekday church rehearsal problems

I can't! They have some other kind of meeting or something every Thurs pm so we have to be out by 5 or 5:30. It's my family church so I hate to go elsewhere but I don't want to totally inconvenience everyone either. Still going to be an inconvenience at 7 at another church. Any other Friday brides have this problem?

nicopico13 Posted: Jan 27, 2010 02:49 PM

Re: weekday church rehearsal problems

And the fun begins! Sorry you're getting grief! Who is invited to the RD? I know who is invited varies person to person. Is it the bridal party giving you a hard time or just friends and family invited to the dinner? If your wedding is on a friday were they planning on driving down the day of the wedding? I would think that they would have to travel the day before regardless.

cleokizzy Posted: Jan 27, 2010 02:50 PM

Re: weekday church rehearsal problems

i agree with the others... how bout moving it to a much later time? 4pm is early...

brittndave Posted: Jan 27, 2010 03:12 PM

Re: weekday church rehearsal problems

do you have to have your rehearsal at the church? personally, i think rehearsals are silly. they take 10 minutes, everyone walks down the aisle, you're done. can you maybe just have everyone meet before or after the rd and tell them the order they are going to line up in and let that be it?

lpk586 Posted: Jan 27, 2010 04:00 PM

Re: weekday church rehearsal problems

Neg feedback is from wedding party members, most of whom are out of towners- not like California, but def not on Long Island. Like I said, I can't blame them but it's not my choice. So now I guess I have to look for a church other than my family's. My mom's going to FREAK.

nicopico13 Posted: Jan 27, 2010 04:21 PM

Re: weekday church rehearsal problems

Posted by brittndave

do you have to have your rehearsal at the church? personally, i think rehearsals are silly. they take 10 minutes, everyone walks down the aisle, you're done. can you maybe just have everyone meet before or after the rd and tell them the order they are going to line up in and let that be it?

this might not be a bad idea. Maybe the people who can make it go to the church and then at the RD you can fill in the people who couldn't on where they go. My readers werent able to come to the rehearsal and the Deacon signaled when it was time to go up. We just told them who went first and it was fine. I hate to see you change the church you want because you have people complaining.

halfbaked Posted: Jan 27, 2010 04:24 PM

Re: weekday church rehearsal problems

Posted by nicopico13

Posted by brittndave

do you have to have your rehearsal at the church? personally, i think rehearsals are silly. they take 10 minutes, everyone walks down the aisle, you're done. can you maybe just have everyone meet before or after the rd and tell them the order they are going to line up in and let that be it?

this might not be a bad idea. Maybe the people who can make it go to the church and then at the RD you can fill in the people who couldn't on where they go. My readers werent able to come to the rehearsal and the Deacon signaled when it was time to go up. We just told them who went first and it was fine. I hate to see you change the church you want because you have people complaining.

ITA. I mean, it's kinda idiot-proof y'know?

lpk586 Posted: Jan 27, 2010 04:34 PM

Re: weekday church rehearsal problems

Yeah, I do agree to an extent. My only concerns are: 1) as soon as we say, 'For those of you who can make it...' the translation will be 'optional.' 2) at my sister in law's wedding, some of the guys were missing and they had no idea where to be or what to do the next day. Stand in front? Escort guests down? It was actually really funny. Not the end of the world, though, I know.

halfbaked Posted: Jan 27, 2010 04:36 PM

Re: weekday church rehearsal problems

Posted by lpk586

Yeah, I do agree to an extent. My only concerns are: 1) as soon as we say, 'For those of you who can make it...' the translation will be 'optional.' 2) at my sister in law's wedding, some of the guys were missing and they had no idea where to be or what to do the next day. Stand in front? Escort guests down? It was actually really funny. Not the end of the world, though, I know.

Yeah, I know you don't want to have a 3-ring circus on your wedding day. Do you have a DOC? If so, then I def. wouldn't be too concerned about the rehearsal. If not, maybe do it in your backyard or something like that, just so people get the flow.

ttdiff11 Posted: Jan 27, 2010 06:08 PM

Re: weekday church rehearsal problems

we did ours the night b4 our wedding, but at 6:00

lpk586 Posted: Jan 27, 2010 07:52 PM

Re: weekday church rehearsal problems

Nope, no DOC. I wish!

HSsweethearts Posted: Jan 27, 2010 08:02 PM

Re: weekday church rehearsal problems

Can't you mke it later?

or just tell them to **** it up.

FinallyMrsB18 Posted: Jan 27, 2010 08:05 PM

Re: weekday church rehearsal problems

It is what it is. It isn't like you can control it kwim?

KerriJohnS Posted: Jan 27, 2010 08:07 PM

Re: weekday church rehearsal problems

i think it is a PIA!! Pain in the ASSSSS.. haha.. sorry I'm blunt. But they have to take off work for the wedding (I'm assuming) so making them take off the 2 days in a row... can be a bit much for some people... esp if you have people who don't get a lot of time off.

I would make it later.

then in the end if you decide to go for the 4pm.... just know there's a possibility some just won't make it... I would DEF NOT start a fight with them over it. It is what it is.

I did mine on a sunday for a Fri wedding because of this reason. We also tossed around doing it on a Wednesday... but we would have done it no earlier than 6pm. the rehearsal is only about a half hour.

KerriJohnS Posted: Jan 27, 2010 08:11 PM

Re: weekday church rehearsal problems

Posted by lpk586

I can't! They have some other kind of meeting or something every Thurs pm so we have to be out by 5 or 5:30. It's my family church so I hate to go elsewhere but I don't want to totally inconvenience everyone either. Still going to be an inconvenience at 7 at another church. Any other Friday brides have this problem?

so let me get this straight.... your church ONLY does the rehearsal's on Thursdays... which is ALSO the same day they have an event there after 5:30? this doesn't add up. Who did you speak to at the church? they are notorious for being a pain and giving wrong information out. Maybe, call back and talk to someone else. This just doesn't seem right.

And if you have an option of doing it at another church versus making them go at 4... I'd go with doing it at the other church. Going to another church at 6 or 7 pm is much less of an inconvenience as going at 4 to the day of church would me. And it's an equal inconvenience to go to the day of church or another church at the same time.... so I don't see the problem with another church at all.

dCa51899 Posted: Jan 27, 2010 08:18 PM

Re: weekday church rehearsal problems

Posted by FinallyMrsB18

It is what it is. It isn't like you can control it kwim?

i agree...i completely understand where you (and ur BMs) are coming from. I hate to inconvenience ppl too, but I mean this is your wedding! I'd hope your bridesmaids would understand that and if they love you, they'd be there for you! I was just in a wedding a few months ago for my best friend from college. We live about 2 hours apart and I made a lot of sacrifices to be in her wedding - I feel like its just what you do if they're your good friend. I'd hate for you to have to change your family church just to try to make ppl happy. You can never please everyone. hth & good luck!