WELL NOW LET'S GET JOKES! KNOW ANY GOOD ONES! COME IN AND SHARE! may05 has got some good ones! ty may05!
Original post by janet
May05Bride
Posted:
Member since
Re: WELL NOW LET'S GET JOKES! KNOW ANY GOOD ONES! COME IN AND SHARE! may05 has got some good ones! ty may05!
Stage 2 - UGLY
Never entirely happy with the effects of the bathroom mirror, the first thing you are horrified to discover is that you have now become even UGLIER than you previously thought possible. Not only have you got bloodshot eyes and a glorious collection of spots but you are shaking so much that your grandfather probably looks healthier. Unfortunately you are still too STUPID to know better than to try to shave while still shaking.
May05Bride
Posted:
Member since
Re: WELL NOW LET'S GET JOKES! KNOW ANY GOOD ONES! COME IN AND SHARE! may05 has got some good ones! ty may05!
Stage 3 - POOR
Having crawled out of bed and got dressed, you are about to shamble out the door when you discover that the money that was to last you the week is now missing from your wallet. Being STUPID, you have no idea what happened to it but the traces of pizza on your clothes allow the possibility that you might have treated everyone to a takeout at some point. Alternatively your pocket could have been picked or you might have given the taxi driver a fifty dollar note by mistake. Rationionalizing that you couldn't possibly have been that STUPID and that you would remember being robbed, you come to believe that you were the only one who bought any food or drinks all night and start to loathe all your friends.
May05Bride
Posted:
Member since
Re: WELL NOW LET'S GET JOKES! KNOW ANY GOOD ONES! COME IN AND SHARE! may05 has got some good ones! ty may05!
Stage 4 - FRAGILE
As you are now STUPID, UGLY and POOR, your consequently FRAGILE self-esteem plummets. Your already FRAGILE physical condition ensures that you feel liable to shatter if anyone even speaks to you
May05Bride
Posted:
Member since
Re: WELL NOW LET'S GET JOKES! KNOW ANY GOOD ONES! COME IN AND SHARE! may05 has got some good ones! ty may05!
Stage 5 - CONSPICUOUS
This is the final stage of sobering up. Unfortunately, everyone can spot this CONSPICUOUS condition and its cause from a great distance. Even worse, they know that they can complete your misery by making fun of you, and that you are too STUPID to retaliate, too FRAGILE to hit them, too POOR to bribe them and too UGLY to hide.
May05Bride
Posted:
Member since
Re: WELL NOW LET'S GET JOKES! KNOW ANY GOOD ONES! COME IN AND SHARE! may05 has got some good ones! ty may05!
when we were in college, we had nothing else to do than collect jokes. So, now, I am spitting out all my old jokes.
I like it! It sounds new to you!
May05Bride
Posted:
Member since
Re: WELL NOW LET'S GET JOKES! KNOW ANY GOOD ONES! COME IN AND SHARE! may05 has got some good ones! ty may05!
what do you call a blond who colored her hair brunette?
janet
Posted:
Member since
Re: WELL NOW LET'S GET JOKES! KNOW ANY GOOD ONES! COME IN AND SHARE! may05 has got some good ones! ty may05!
been there done that ! lol
May05Bride
Posted:
Member since
Re: WELL NOW LET'S GET JOKES! KNOW ANY GOOD ONES! COME IN AND SHARE! may05 has got some good ones! ty may05!
Virtual Intelligence.
janet
Posted:
Member since
Re: WELL NOW LET'S GET JOKES! KNOW ANY GOOD ONES! COME IN AND SHARE! may05 has got some good ones! ty may05!
i am bad likei said when it come's to joke! and yes they are all new to me! i love it!
May05Bride
Posted:
Member since
Re: WELL NOW LET'S GET JOKES! KNOW ANY GOOD ONES! COME IN AND SHARE! may05 has got some good ones! ty may05!
A cop is staking out a bar for drunk drivers. At closing time, he sees a guy stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and fumble for his keys for five minutes. When he finally gets in, it takes him another five minutes to get the key in the ignition. Meanwhile, everybody else leaves the bar and drives off.
When he finally pulls away, the cop is waiting for him, pulls him over, and gives him a Breathalyzer test. The test shows he has a blood alcohol level of 0.0.
The cop says, 'How is this possible?' The guy says,'Tonight I'm the designated decoy.'
May05Bride
Posted:
Member since
Re: WELL NOW LET'S GET JOKES! KNOW ANY GOOD ONES! COME IN AND SHARE! may05 has got some good ones! ty may05!
A russian, italian and a an french are lost on a island. They find a whole bunch of liquer. They figure they might as well drink, since they will die anyway.
Amongst drinking and opening the bottle they find a genie. A genie says since there is 3 of them, they each get a wish.
Italian goes first, wishes for a huge villa in Rome, lots of money, cars, ladies and servants. Poof, wish comes true.
French guy goes next. He wants a Place in paris, with lots of money, girls, cars, planes and everything else.
Than goes the Russian. By than, he has drunk a LOT of vodka bottles! He thinks 'man, they were all such great company!!! ' His wish : Bring them all back here to drink with me!
janet
Posted:
Member since
Re: WELL NOW LET'S GET JOKES! KNOW ANY GOOD ONES! COME IN AND SHARE! may05 has got some good ones! ty may05!
i love all your jokes i am gonna have to print some of these out !
janet
Posted:
Member since
Re: WELL NOW LET'S GET JOKES! KNOW ANY GOOD ONES! COME IN AND SHARE! may05 has got some good ones! ty may05!
109 more post to go for me to get 1000 yuppie! it only took me almost 3 years! do you know if they still give out a tee shirt for 1000 post?
May05Bride
Posted:
Member since
Re: WELL NOW LET'S GET JOKES! KNOW ANY GOOD ONES! COME IN AND SHARE! may05 has got some good ones! ty may05!
Should I have a baby after 35? A: No, 35 children is enough
May05Bride
Posted:
Member since
Re: WELL NOW LET'S GET JOKES! KNOW ANY GOOD ONES! COME IN AND SHARE! may05 has got some good ones! ty may05!
Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
May05Bride
Posted:
Member since
Re: WELL NOW LET'S GET JOKES! KNOW ANY GOOD ONES! COME IN AND SHARE! may05 has got some good ones! ty may05!
Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex? A: Childbirth.
May05Bride
Posted:
Member since
Re: WELL NOW LET'S GET JOKES! KNOW ANY GOOD ONES! COME IN AND SHARE! may05 has got some good ones! ty may05!
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational. A: So what's your question?
May05Bride
Posted:
Member since
Re: WELL NOW LET'S GET JOKES! KNOW ANY GOOD ONES! COME IN AND SHARE! may05 has got some good ones! ty may05!
Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right? A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
May05Bride
Posted:
Member since
Re: WELL NOW LET'S GET JOKES! KNOW ANY GOOD ONES! COME IN AND SHARE! may05 has got some good ones! ty may05!
Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor? A: Not unless the word 'alimony' means anything to you.
May05Bride
Posted:
Member since
Re: WELL NOW LET'S GET JOKES! KNOW ANY GOOD ONES! COME IN AND SHARE! may05 has got some good ones! ty may05!
Q: Do I have to have a baby shower? A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.
