Well the cat is out of the bag...

Because of a brewing world war 3 I now know everything about my shower. It all started when my mom and sister,moh, began planning my shower. I knew they had started planning and urged them several times to contact all the girls when planning. Obviously, they didn't listen, as they booked a date without the other girls knowing. Then when they told them, via e-mail(all of my BMs are in different states) it turns out that one couldn;t make it on that day. Also my sister assigned jobs for each BM to be responsible for. Two of my BMs did not want to chip in for a BP gift and prefered to buy their own gift. They also did not want to divide all the money equally and would absorb the cost for their job, so they could spend more on my gift. I guess people began taking things the wrong way and the 2 bms began getting very heated with my moh. Today I get a call from one of the bms saying that they are having a problem with my sister and that they had to call me beacause it was getting out of hand. To my sister's credit, this the first time she has ever done anything like this, and I led her into this whole arrangement of assigning jobs because that is how I did it for FSIL's shower. She was working really hard to give me the shower I really wanted. So I call my mom and tell her all of this and she gets mad at the BMs for involving me and in the middle of all of this slips that my shower is on April 30th. Now everyone is mad, I'm upset and they have to change the date. And to top it off FSIL wrote a very condescending email to my sister probably because she wasn't in control of everything.

So now I am in the middle. Mom and MOH were wrong not to ask before booking, they know that now. But I also feel the 2 BMS were wrong involving me. Part of me feels that they are doing this to get out of this. (remember the post, I can't stand my bridesmaids, yeah that was about them).

Now everything *****. I don't even want a shower. Sorry this is so long. Thanks for reading.

I'm sorry for you. My shower was a disaster in the planning too. I cried like 1,000 times over it. Try not to let it get to you.

that was totally wrong to involve you lisa!!!!!! don't worry, i'm sure it'll all work out just fine

they shouldnt of called you. they are all adults and could of worked it out between themselves. why get the bride in the middle of it????? thats just wrong! i am sorry you are going through this! try not to let it get to you!!

Sorry!


Try to get out of being in the middle. Let them sourt this out.

ugh - that's rough - hang in there!

That is really tough and I am really sorry you had to find out! I too found out about when and what my showers was and I am pretty upset about it. I haven't told anyone that I do know and I won't but I know it won't be the same....

They shouldn't have put you in the middle...shouldn't have even called you! sorry this is happening to you!

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Posted by Future_Mrs_B

they shouldnt of called you. they are all adults and could of worked it out between themselves. why get the bride in the middle of it????? thats just wrong! i am sorry you are going through this! try not to let it get to you!!

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ditto!

Wow! THey shouldn't have involved you in the drama!!

Hope it all works out!

I'm sorry! That *****.

Lisa -
I am so sorry you are dealing with this. I also dealt with being in the 'middle'. I ended up in tears, telling my MOH and MOB that I didn't want a shower and no longer wanted them at my wedding if they couldn't get things together for a SMALL shower!

Hopefully they will work it out amongst themselves and leave you out of it so you can actually enjoy your day

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

WHY OH WHY do a few BMs feel the need to complain about the shower planning, or any other wedding duties?

I was a BM and a MOH last summer, and of course had issues (like two BMs stiffing me for costs they promised to pay), but did the brides know about this stuff? NO. Because I felt it was my duty as a BM/MOH to give my friends as perfect a day as I could, b/c I recognized (unlike your BMs) that this day is about YOU. Not them. YOU. I hate to say it, but I think your mom and sister, while overzealous, were less wrong than your BMs for blabbing about it. But, what's done is done. I am sorry you're going through this. Maybe you could ask your BMs to find a way to get along with your sister and mom - tell them that would be the greatest gift they could give you. And, the bow on that gift? Leaving you out of it from here on until the wedding day. Good luck!!!!

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Posted by stacy&joe

Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.

WHY OH WHY do a few BMs feel the need to complain about the shower planning, or any other wedding duties?

I was a BM and a MOH last summer, and of course had issues (like two BMs stiffing me for costs they promised to pay), but did the brides know about this stuff? NO. Because I felt it was my duty as a BM/MOH to give my friends as perfect a day as I could, b/c I recognized (unlike your BMs) that this day is about YOU. Not them. YOU. I hate to say it, but I think your mom and sister, while overzealous, were less wrong than your BMs for blabbing about it. But, what's done is done. I am sorry you're going through this. Maybe you could ask your BMs to find a way to get along with your sister and mom - tell them that would be the greatest gift they could give you. And, the bow on that gift? Leaving you out of it from here on until the wedding day. Good luck!!!!

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In the end I feel it is a control issue. Because they weren't in charge or in control of the shower they felt threatened and lashed out at my sister. They were wrong to involve me. Now I feel that all the hard work that has been done was all for nothing.

I just wrote something meaningful and mind blowingly great and I got logged out

Okay maybe great is an overstatement. I just want to give you big hugs Seems like it's rare for the bride not to be stressed by her own 'surprise' shower lately. I'm hoping that the talk about changing the date will work out for everyone - you can be surprised once again and maybe everyone will learn from the mistakes the first time around.