We've officially hit our first bump in the road.....

prncssrachel Posted: May 08, 2004 10:28 PM

We've officially hit our first bump in the road.....

SO, granted it's not the worst thing in the world, but it's something. Here's my situation and I need a little LIW help!

We've been planning on having the ceremony at the Bourne Mansion, then going directly into the coctail hour from there, but after speaking with our photographer, this does not really make much sense. By the time we rounded up the troops for pictures after the ceremony, my entire family, bridal party and JT's family would miss the coctail hour. I don't want my parents to miss eating the food they are paying for, and I have some people in the BP who might go nuts if they don't get to eat SO........here's my dilemma, we need to find another place to get married. We were both raised Catholic, but we refuse to have our ceremony in a Catholic church. So where else can we have it that we don't have to have a religious affiliation with? I was wondering about Episcopalian and Unitarian churches. AND, are we going to have a huge problem because we already have our reception planned? I know they get pissy about that. Thanks for any help!

jill13bean Posted: May 08, 2004 10:30 PM

Re: We've officially hit our first bump in the road.....

we are taking pictures before the ceremony so everyone can enjoy the cocktail our

04Bride Posted: May 08, 2004 10:31 PM

Re: We've officially hit our first bump in the road.....

maybe you are against doing this but what about taking pics before the ceremony. Thast what we are doing and i had a friedn who did that and she made sure the photo/viddeo guygot a shot of her FH seeing her for the first time. so if your worried about missing that special moment you can still capture it and the whole family and you two can be at your cocktail hour.

dm24angel Posted: May 08, 2004 10:31 PM

Re: We've officially hit our first bump in the road.....

Well I am an episcopalian and can tell you they are kinda strict...we are getting married during Lent and they refused at my church to have a wedding during that period...meanwhile Fh's Roman Catholic chursh didnt blink an eye at it, so my suggestion would be somewhere like Luthern , here's a link to some churches mentioned when I was having trouble....good luck! Churches

laudipop Posted: May 08, 2004 10:33 PM

Re: We've officially hit our first bump in the road.....

Unfortunately, I don't have any advice, but I can sympathize. I'm in the same situation--we're getting married at our hall.

I guess I just figured the bridal party usually does miss most of the cocktail hour. At least that's how it's been at other weddings I've been a BM at.

I wonder if there's a place outside you can get married at earlier in the day. I'll be interested to see what suggestions everyone has!

Boop2704 Posted: May 08, 2004 10:35 PM

Re: We've officially hit our first bump in the road.....

You have to look for a community church. I am catholic, DH is not, so catholic church was out for us. However, I still wanted a church. So we looked around at non-denominational and community churches. We ended up getting married at Parkway Community Church in Hicksville. They welcome all !! Try looking for community churches around where you live or near the Bourne Mansion! Good Luck!!

prncssrachel Posted: May 08, 2004 10:38 PM

Re: We've officially hit our first bump in the road.....

Posted by Boop2704

You have to look for a community church. I am catholic, DH is not, so catholic church was out for us. However, I still wanted a church. So we looked around at non-denominational and community churches. We ended up getting married at Parkway Community Church in Hicksville. They welcome all !! Try looking for community churches around where you live or near the Bourne Mansion! Good Luck!!

I think this is what I will do. tHat's more like what I was thinking of.
I am vehemently against seeing JT before the ceremony. It's the ONE tradition we are actually keeping
Thanks girls!

AJsMommy122 Posted: May 08, 2004 11:50 PM

Re: We've officially hit our first bump in the road.....

Can you extend the cocktail hour into 2 hours instead? so you only miss half?

LImom Posted: May 08, 2004 11:56 PM

Re: We've officially hit our first bump in the road.....

Missing the food at the cocktail hour is not the only downside to this situation. Your family will be missing out on the time they might mingle with the guests. They will have to do that during the reception. If you can, I advise you to find a way around this dilemma.
Good luck.

MCDO15 Posted: May 09, 2004 01:27 AM

Re: We've officially hit our first bump in the road.....

not sure where reception (bourne mansion) is but the Interfaith Center is great and can hold any religous ceremony....

Marisa&Brian Posted: May 09, 2004 12:22 PM

Re: We've officially hit our first bump in the road.....

My friend is getting married @ the country club - She is taking all of her pictures before. - What she is going to do is take all of the Bridal pictures - anything she can do w/o her FI, then let the photographer take all of HIS picture. - So that once the ceremony is over, they'll only need us (the BP) for a few shots, as well as their parents - and eveyone else can get to the cocktail hour while they take their husband/wife pics. - She REALLY just didin't want him to see her before she walked down the aisle

Janine24 Posted: May 09, 2004 03:58 PM

Re: We've officially hit our first bump in the road.....

why dont you go to a park area and have a reception outdoors? That may be hard to pull off but I think it would look absolutely beautiful...

jam1223 Posted: May 09, 2004 04:12 PM

Re: We've officially hit our first bump in the road.....

I'm not sure where the Bourne Mansion is but there is the Historical Chapel in Woodbury that will have any kind of ceremony you like.

ETA: it's on Jericho Turnpike

ThongLori Posted: May 09, 2004 05:22 PM

Re: We've officially hit our first bump in the road.....

Anytime I have been in a BP where we missed some or most of the cocktail hour (which is EVERY time I was a BM), a mini one was set up for us in the bridal suite... all the same food. We did not miss eating a thing, just the socializing part of it.

pschica Posted: May 09, 2004 05:55 PM

Re: We've officially hit our first bump in the road.....

is it possible for you to just make the ceremony a litlle earlier and hold a pre cocktail hr - we had one for guests who were out of town so they didnt have to go back to their hotels.....it was in another smaller room at our hall!

prncssrachel Posted: May 09, 2004 10:15 PM

Re: We've officially hit our first bump in the road.....

First of all, thank you to everyone who responded. Secondly...I really do not want my guests waiting around at the Mansion before the start of the coctail hour, and I really would like my family and BP to enjoy themselves. I feel like the coctail hour is a good time for my parents to shmooze it up with people so that they do not need to do it at the reception, so the search will officially begin for an alternate location starting tomorrow. If anyone has any concrete suggestions for a place that is relatively close to Oakdale, I would love to know about them. Thanks so much, again!

Corduroy94 Posted: May 10, 2004 10:02 AM

Re: We've officially hit our first bump in the road.....

We had the same problem & on top of it I was getting a HUGE headache from hearing how much everyone hates the huge gaps between the CH & RC. We are going to do our ceremony at the RH & pictures before the ceremony & then take a few at the CH so this way we wont miss much.

When we didn't have the issues with the gap I looked at these 2 churches & they were a huge help!

The Community Church of East Williston ( a little $$)
Locust Valley Reformed Church **VERY helpful**http://www.lvrchurch.org/index.htm

Nora101004 Posted: May 10, 2004 01:07 PM

Re: We've officially hit our first bump in the road.....

Take the pics before the ceremony.

snowprincess805 Posted: May 10, 2004 01:14 PM

Re: We've officially hit our first bump in the road.....

the suggestion about adding an extra hour to your cocktail hour -might work - Ben threw an extra hour into our pricing for free - we are not adding to the cocktail hour- but for an after party - but that might work better for you -

tourist Posted: May 10, 2004 01:14 PM

Re: We've officially hit our first bump in the road.....

We were raised Catholic but we don't really relate to it at all & are getting married in an Episcopal Church. Some refused, b/c we aren't members. This one is nice, we just have to meet the priest a few times first.

Methodis& Presbyterian I've heard are also very welcomeing.

I considered a Community Church, but that was so far removed from what my family was used to, I figured that would be more of a last resort.