what about not inviting the cousin??

butterfly20 Posted: Mar 18, 2003 05:08 PM

what about not inviting the cousin??

my fiance family lives fairly close and see's each other enough. There is one cousin who had done unforgivable things years ago(but thats not the issue). a couple years ago she decided to stop talking to my fiance, and said that my fiance is dead to her. She hasn't even said congradulations to us, and has never even said Hi to me in the years of family events that i have gone to. For the familys sake she will be invited to the wedding(which is enough people invited that we wont have to spend time near her). But I really feel I should not have to invite her to my bridal shower(it will only be 30-35 people invited). How do I nicely explain this to the grandmother, to not upset her?I know I should be the better one and invite this girl but it is sickening just to see her face.

Fran M Posted: Mar 18, 2003 05:24 PM

Re: What should I do about inviting mute cousin

Do you really think she will come? Does the family realize that this girl has never even spoken to you and vice versa. Do they think an invitation to your wedding will change the situation? You are essentially offering a truce with your invitation. There is no nice way to tell a Grandmother that you really dont want her Granddaughter around but you invited her to your wedding anyway.

LizD Posted: Mar 18, 2003 05:27 PM

Re: What should I do about inviting mute cousin

Since you invited her to the wedding, I would invite her to the shower also. 10 to 1 she won't come anyway, and you will be the bigger person for extending the invite.

butterfly20 Posted: Mar 18, 2003 05:38 PM

Re: What should I do about inviting mute cousin

my fiance has offered to explain it to his grandmother(he and I agree 100%), but i want him to have a prepared explanation.
The family knows that they dont talk to each other. the grandmother was notified when the cousin said my fiance was dead to her, and she also knows of the other bad things that would make me feel uncomfortable.
No invitations have been sent out yet. We dont even want her at the wedding, but are doing that as a favor to the family to keep peace(and wont be spending time with her there. but the bridal shower is my day(and not a very significant celebration compared to the wedding). Most websites say a shower is for the bride and people Close to the bride, which she obviously is not)