what are the five things you wish you knew before your wedding?(bump for 09's)

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Posted by MyLobster

Ok well I'm not married yet...BUT here are 5 things I wish I knew before I started planning....

1- DO NOT tell anyone about any extras at the wedding bc then ppl expect it...we told everyone about the cigar roller then turned out we couldn't do it but guests keep saying they are excited about it so now we are setting up a cigar table so they're not let down.

2- Don't choose your bridal party IMMEDIATELY especially if you have a long engagement. A lot can change.

3- Look into several vendors before you put a deposit down. I was SURE I chose the perfect photo but was unaware of some details.

4- Don't send STD's or have an engagement party far before the wedding...again...a lot can change over a long period of time and then you HAVE to invite those ppl

5- Start buying the little things right away...RB pillow, pew bows, shoes, unity candle etc. I did this and if I didn't, I'd be scrambling and spending big $$ right about now

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I wish I'd known about #4....there are about 4 people I would have not sent them to today.

I really didn't overdue DiY's or go nuts overspending on everything but what I did learn is:

1) when picking out a photography company make sure you are happy (i was) with the entire work shown. Don't look at one album look at them all. Always research on these vendors! If I could have I probably would of picked blue daisy or AG (if i had the money) but our photographer was perfect for our budget and what we wanted but I didn't know of BD until way after we booked.

2) Bp as someone said HOLD OUT, don't need to pick them until a year not a year and half and plus. We did and it worked out best, no drop outs, no aggro except for the fact no one showed up to my fittings except for the first one which did nothing for me IoI Also PICK THE DRESSES YOU WANT, i let the girls talk me into black dresses which I do like but I really wanted green since they claimed they could wear the dress again, have they - no! SO go with what you want.

3) Don't over buy present for BP and parents. I had gone through so many diff. presents for the bp just pick one thing that is nice but not over priced. To be honest they typically never use it/wear it after the wedding is said and done. Parents do the same thing!

4) Alterations, become a complete tyrant on them. I didn't I am a nice person and it bit me big time. My dress was not fitted correctly and I should of spoken up before I left the store with my dress. So speak up!

5) Don't go nuts with tons of extra's, people still talk about our wedding and we didn't add anything extra to the reception. We had friends who did diff. dessert bars, huge tv's/slides shows, extra foods, etc and people still say our wedding was so amazing compaired to ....

Wanted to add: Don't go nuts buying a 3k dress, I hate the fact my dress cost $1,200 (this included a custom jacket, alterations, bustle) because its sitting in a freaking box! Yes pick something you love and like but don't go by price buy what you love. I keep finding posts of my dress needs to be a top designer where do you get good designer dresses - no one gives a flying F who your dress is made from!

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by bluegreen08

i'd agree with waiting on asking your BP... I asked people the night I got engaged and it was a mistake for the most part. I ended up losing one BM (definitely for the best), adding one BM 9 months after I got engaged and 6 months before the wedding (best thing i ever did -- and before I lost the other BM) and I couldn't be happier with my bridal party on my wedding day.

my only regret is that I asked girl 1, and waited to ask girl 2. don't rush with the BP stuff!!!!

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either way its not easy. I was told to wait to ask the bridal party bc things can quickly change and after you are engaged you see peoples true colors bc you get to see who really is happy for you and will be there for you and who won't. So i waited, but then i had ppl asking me about this alot and telling me i need to ask soon and that people need to save from ahead of time. But i guess in the end it did work out for me bc i know ppl always say that big bridal parties just cause headaches but i honestly had none at all. I had 9 girls and dh had 11 guys. I had not one problem with any of my girls. There was no problems with getting bm dresses, we picked it in half an hour. None of them gave me a problem about it. It was funny bc it was my bm's who started harassing me about us going to look at bm dresses and that we need to do it soon. SO finally after being told alot we finally went hahaha. They were great and didnt cause any problems at all, not for the shower or bp or anyting wedding related. Infact they kept asking me if im sure that its ok they can do whatever they want with their hair bc if not to let them know and it would be ok if i had a preference, i kept saying just do what you want. Same with shoes, they asked a few times if they really could get whatever they want and i kept having to say that i trust their style and im sure they will look great so to go with what they like.

So definitely wait until you find out peoples reactions and seeing who is there for you and who has no interest in your wedding. But also give them enough time to save money.

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Yeah... to be honest I had no problems with anyone except for one college friend (who had a problem with EVERYTHING) and immediately regretted asking her. Also regretted NOT asking a different college friend but I felt bad because she knew I had already asked people. I'd just say think it over carefully and wait maybe a week before making any decisions. In the end everything turned out right but it would have saved me a lot of frustration (dealing with BM1 until 4 months before) and guilt (over asking BM2 later than the rest -- 6 months before the wedding). my mistake!

This post is great. I love one's with advice for us future brides. It's all really helpful and good things to remember. Keep it coming please.

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Posted by soontoobemrsk

Do any of you regret inviting people just bc you felt obligated to...people that you had remotely no relationship with or people who you didnt even know??

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nah, you won't even notice them!

1) It is okay to negoiate with vendors. They actually expect this if something is not in your budget talk it out.

2) Do not purchase wedding items impulsively. As soon as I got engaged (even though it was a short engagement) I immdediately purchased church programs and never used them. After figuring out our theme they just didn't go. I had to stop buying things.

3) The show must go on no matter what. If people are having issues (whatever they maybe) no matter what you are still getting married. I tend to get overly involved and want to help everyone. Somethings should just be left untouched. Your emotions get the best of you and in the end it seems to work out fine.

4)You are not an exception to this rule. People will RSVP late for that matter they may not RSVP at all. Some will even tell you maybe. Be prepared

5) My whole motto was to be a laid back bride. I was for the most part. It is okay to tell vendors and the Bridal Party what you want. I think I was too concerened that they were going to think I was being a B!tch if I asked for something or if I made a suggestion. It is okay to speak your mind and tell them what you want.

1. No matter what goes wrong the day of...LET IT GO! This is your one and only day. Keep a smile on your face and if it really bothers you, deal with it after the HM. At our wedding everyone commented on how relaxed the bride & groom were and that was reflected in their attitudes. Believe me, when I do my review, you'll see I have plenty of vendors that are getting D's and below....but I did not let it bother me the day of...go with the flow!

2. You do not need a cigar roller...get a cigar table going, personalized matches and have the hall put cognac and it's just as effective. I was so stressed over us not having a cigar roller but in the end, everyone loved the cigars and noone missed the roller!

3. Make sure you see the way the floor is set up for a wedding beforehand. Crescent didn't let us into a room when they were set up and the most important people in our wedding were stuck in a corner!!!! The table sheet was definitely not always accurate...

4. Make sure you ask whether the limos have A/C. You don't want to be sweating like a madwoman when you are walking into the ceremony! I relied too much on LIW and should have asked more questions to Camelot limos....

5. Make sure you see a sample of your centerpiece. I let too much time go and Pedestals didn't get me my sample til 2 weeks before the wedding.....I hated them and I told them I do not want any green in the centerpiece....needless to say, it was full of green and not what I wanted. I wish I insisted on a 2nd sample!

1. You are NEVER going to make everyone happy and as long as you and your DH are happy, that's all that matters. That's not to say that you shouldn't try to please your family but that they aren't getting married no matter how much they are helping you pay for it. There were a few things that I flat out said no I'm not doing that. My seating chart was done (2 glasses of wine later ) and my mom wanted to see it and make changes. I said no and you know what, everyone was just fine with where they were seated. And if they weren't, they didn't tell me so that's all I need to know.

2. Don't compare your wedding to your friends', cousins', LIW brides, etc. The one thing we all have in common is that we found the One!!! As soon as I stopped comparing our wedding to every other wedding I've ever been to or heard about, I was so much less stressed. I got my dress at David's Bridal...I didn't even look anywhere else because I thought that's all I could afford. I kind of regret not looking more. Before I had any of my fittings I was having second thoughts and wishing my dress had more detail like some other wedding dresses I've browsed online. Everytime I look at my pictures I think that dress was made for me and it was so unique. I've gotten so many compliments on my dress and I truly love it so I know that I made the right choice.

3. Have a plan but don't think that the plan won't change. As brides we think about, plan for, and obsess about every single little detail for our wedding day. Planning ahead made my wedding planning process so much easier, but there are things that didn't go according to plan. Roll with the punches. There are things that are completely out of your control and you can get yourself all stressed out-like when your dad decides after you've ordered your invitations that he has a list of 10 more people for the guest list. I did get stressed out about it-mostly because I was afraid I was going to run out of invitations. I was really frustrated about it for a few days but then I let it go and those people had a great time and there are great pictures of them dancing.

For girls getting married in the afternoon, do a timeline for your morning getting ready and give yourself extra time. We all got ready in time, photographer was on time, limo was on time. We were all set on the way to the dock to take pictures and we got stuck at the railroad tracks for not one but two trains. We were a little late and that got us off to a little bit later start. We still got to the hall on time and took some pics before the ceremony but still had to take pics during the CH but we made it work and I didn't get upset about it.

4. Don't go from table to table if you don't want to. I made sure to stop at some tables by myself-especially my co-workers and family from oot but I really wanted to dance! There are so many great pictures of me dancing with my bms and just rocking out. It was so nice not stressing about who's table to be at next and I haven't heard of anyone being upset that we didn't stop at every table.

5. If you aren't happy with something or you need something, speak up. When I went for alterations, I was really firm with the seamstress. She was pinning the bustle and it was uneven in the back. I kept telling her to fix it. She said there's so much material it will never be straight. I said well it needs to be fixed. She fixed it and it still didn't look right so I asked her again to fix it. Finally it was right. I only needed one fitting-just the hem and bustle. It was perfect because I made sure she fixed it.

One of my bridesmaids just had her hair done and she was worried that it was lopsided. She didn't want to say anything because the hairdresser was working on someone else but I told her to speak up. She told the hairdresser and she fixed it in one minute. If she hadn't said anything, her hair would have looked funny and she would have been thinking about it all day.

great thread! 5 simple things i wish i followed before my wedding:

1) make a detailed must-take list. i havent seen my proofs yet but looking back i dont remember taking pictures i wanted but thought were standard. i didnt give the photog a full list because i didnt want to seem controlling. just do it, or youll be sorry later.

2) dont go too tight on the bra/spanx. i had my long line bra notched to the smallest and being s*cked in like that all night gave me stomach pains. i couldnt figure out what was causing the pain so i didnt eat and drank only water the entire reception. when i undressed, i realized it was all because my bra was too tight & i was kicking myself! i would have rather looked a few inches thicker than be in pain.

3) dont be too hasty choosing your bridal party. i know other girls said it but seriously only choose people you can COUNT ON, and who you know WANT TO BE THERE and not out of obligation. if you decide not to ask someone, dont feel bad about it. theyll get over it and you wont have to deal with them months down the line causing drama.

4) see more than 2 vendors for big ticket items. DH & I limited our meetings because we were lazy about having to go over the same stuff with different people. but i wish i had sat down with more vendors. we only met 1 or 2 for major parts of the wedding. some turned out amazing, others not so much. if anything it gives you bargain advantage. you know the competition

5) if youre having an ice-cream wedding cake, like we did, let it sit out for 30 min before the cake cutting ceremony. we couldnt cut that thing! it was like a rock!! it had us cracking up though



oh ETA: one last thing, get your dress altered a bit shorter than the seamstress wants it. youre going to take off your shoes, and even with platform sandals the dress will be toooo longggg and youll be tripping over it all night.

1. Your day of time line is VERY important. Stick to it and don't be late!
2. Make sure you set aside time to EAT lunch!!
3. Always have a back up plan for pictures in case it rains. It freaking poured on my wedding day!
4. If you're taking photos before your ceremony, your dress will get dirty. I walked down the aisle with stains on my train.
5. Make sure you pack everything the next morning when you leave the hotel or RH. I left some expensive items behind and never saw them again.

Great tips..thank you guys