what are the five things you wish you knew before your wedding?(bump for 09's)

thanks for all the advice this is great I am getting so excited 09 is right around the corner

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Posted by MyLobster

Ok well I'm not married yet...BUT here are 5 things I wish I knew before I started planning....

1- DO NOT tell anyone about any extras at the wedding bc then ppl expect it...we told everyone about the cigar roller then turned out we couldn't do it but guests keep saying they are excited about it so now we are setting up a cigar table so they're not let down.

2- Don't choose your bridal party IMMEDIATELY especially if you have a long engagement. A lot can change.

3- Look into several vendors before you put a deposit down. I was SURE I chose the perfect photo but was unaware of some details.

4- Don't send STD's or have an engagement party far before the wedding...again...a lot can change over a long period of time and then you HAVE to invite those ppl

5- Start buying the little things right away...RB pillow, pew bows, shoes, unity candle etc. I did this and if I didn't, I'd be scrambling and spending big $$ right about now

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thank u..I just bought a pillow from ebay because of this post..so one more thing down!

Thanks so much for all the amazing advice!!! Very helpfu!

Great thread!!!!!

1 - I wanted to be a laid-back bride, but at times I wished I didnt go with the flow of things and spoke up a little more and made sure some of my vendors were doing exactly what I wanted. Because of this I had a horrible experience with my limo company and I also didnt get a chance to take pictures with my BP before the ceremony because we didnt follow the timeline and I didnt speak up about it

2 - Dont feel obligated to invite everyone you were close to at every point in your life. I invited a few friends from college who I am not as close to anymore and there are other people who I wish I could have invited. Not to mention a few people who my DH's family made a big deal about inviting and then they didnt even show up.

3- Let the negativity roll off your back, before, during, and after the wedding. Not everyone is going to be happy with everything, and somepeople just might tell you how they feel....I wish I could just let it go.

4 - DELEGATE!! I learned this lesson a little late. Any person that asks to help, there is something that they can do. my Sister in law saved the day by putting together my programs at the last miniute!

5 - Dont sweat the small stuff, no one is going to know about what you were supposed to have at the wedding. No one knows that were were going to have a Haitian jazz band for CH, they just know about the jazz band playing. I think I got 5 grey hairs before the wedding stressing...

Remeber to have fun....years from now that is what you will remember!!

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Posted by songwriterchic

1. Don't Over Spend on the DJ...we spent about $3000 on ours because of all the fancy upgrades...plasmas, lights, etc...they did a good job and it looked great but it turned out they were rude to us and even my BIL at the wedding. I wish I only spent the bare minimum.

2. Don't Over Stress Over the Music. I spent a lot of time and stressed over the ceremony music selections and the reception playlist and honestly, no one's going to remember the music. Before the wedding I thought I'd be heartbroken if the DJ didn't play certain fav songs of mine, the day of when a few weren't played, I didn't even notice.

3. Don't Over Buy: Favors, Invitations, various supplies, etc. I was so worried I wouldn't have enough that I ended up with 30 extra favors, probably like 50 extra invites, extra save the dates, leftover rice bags, tons of extra craft supplies from Michaels...luckily some supplies I handed over to my FSIL when she got engaged but still, I really wasted money.

4. Don't Stop & Chat Too Often: I feel like I spent most of my reception chatting with people, most of whom skipped out on my church ceremony. If I could go back, if they weren't there for the receiving line, then too bad I'm enjoying my reception.

5. Don't Worry Be Happy: I was so stressed most of the planning process, I can kick myself not for enjoying it more. I now look back at my engagement as a mostly miserable time, I was so worried about every little detail, nothing went wrong that I worried about, and anything that did go wrong was beyond my control anyway.

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I am the same way. I stress and obsess over every little detail. Thanks for the reminder...

Don't choose your bridal party IMMEDIATELY especially if you have a long engagement. A lot can change. definately true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Very true about photographer also!

1 - DON'T spend a lot of $$ on favors and extras - nobody will notice and it quickly adds up.

2 - Don't spend a fortune on flowers - don't get me wrong I LOVE FRESH FLOWERS but my hubby asked me if there was anything we could do for centerpieces so we wouldn't spend a fortune on flowers that were going to be dead within 3 days. I took his advice and went on the hunt after the holidays last year and ended up with silk centerpieces from Pier 1 that were great. I even went so far as to make the bouquets with silk roses from Pier 1 - so instead of spending more than $1K on flowers - we spent about $300. Oh and call BURTON'S if you are getting real flowers - they're fabulous!

3 - Talk to your photographer about any photos you MUST have prior to the day and make sure he has a list. I had a few I forgot to mention to him and figured I'd just remember to ask that day - there's so much going on you won't remember anything!

4 - Take a few ballroom lessons for your first dance if you're nervous...it makes a BIG difference and you'll look great! Plus it's something fun for you to do with your FH before the big day!

5 - Don't leave anything to the last minute - make sure you have all your lists written out, envelopes for vendors completed, bag packed, and anything else you need for that day is done THE DAY BEFORE THE WEDDING. That way you can get a little sleep before your big day and can actually RELAX while everyone does your hair, makeup, etc!

1.) I truly believe the photographer is the MOST important thing at the wedding. If you were planning on spending less on the photos and more on like the favors or something miniscule, I say go for the photographer! Some photographers do an excellent job and you could end up spending only about 2k and that's awesome! I wish I had shopped around more. DH and I paid 6K for our photo/videographer and I am so displeased with the proofs. Actually, I hate them! Make sure you shop around for this, because I would hate to see anyone feel like I do right now. I didn't personally know anyone who had used the same company before, so recommendations are important. I wish I had paid more attention to them!

2.) Your limos. Make sure you hire a reputable company that has great recommendations and is well known. I had caos on my wedding day because of this. Again, DH and I overpaid and we got screwed in the end. We paid about 3K for 2 excursions (for BP), an Excalibur for us and a Lincoln stretch (to pick drive us from RH to the hotel). On the morning of my wedding when the limos arrived, they were a half our late, and the owner sent 2 lincolns to my DH instead of the excursion. My DH had a fit and he called my house looking for me screaming and yelling about it. All he cared about was the cars (typical man)! He wanted to go to the headquaters before the wedding. I was going crazy crying because I thought he wasn't going to show up lol.

Then, the driver of the Excursion, stole money from my BM's wallets. When our limos arrived at the RH, my girls went in to take pictures and the limo drivers carried there belongings in to the bridal suite. I thought that was nice of them, until my cousin told me that the envelope she was going to give me, was ripped open and the cash was stolen out of it! I was morified to say the least.

3.) Make sure you know what you are getting and everything is in writing. I was supposed to have so many extra's that they 'said' would be there and it wasn't on paper. For instance, my photographer said that the photos from my ceremony would be played as a montage at my reception for the people who didn't come to the ceremony. DH and I had this elabrate set up with 2 60 inch plasma HD TVS and all this lighting eqiuptment. I didn't realize until my wedding was almost over that it didn't happen and I really loved that idea. When I asked him about it, he said that he wasn't sure I wanted that, so he didn't bring the proper equiptment. He said 'it wasnt on your conract'. My mistake.

4.) Seating arrangents. I believe it's really important were you seat your guests. I was SO annoyed with trying to work this out that I gave up on it and said, just put them there or her here. I couldn't handle that. My mom and my grandma ended up finalizing it for me. I thought it was perfect. I had about 40 more people there than DH so I had to put a table of my freinds on his side. I really didn't care about that much and that was no problem. For some reason, at my wedding, I was told that 2 older women were arguing on the balcony about where they were sitting. They were from my side (DH aunt told me) and I have no clue who they were. One on them said that should have been at my head table and my seating arrangement was disorganized and ridiculios. I thought it was perfect! I couldn't imagine who would say that being as how my Parents, Grandparents and my Aunts and Uncle (mom and dads siblings) were at my head table and it was already 14 people. Don't give up on this! It is a big factor of the wedding!

5.) RELAX and enjoy it! I wish I had been more relaxed during my whole wedding. During the ceremony, I was so nervous and shakey I couldn't consintrate. When it was time for me to say my vows, I tryed to say DH name and I choked up and no words came out lol. I ended up coughing at the alter for a godd 15 seconds. All because I was nervous and I had noting to drink on the way there. Bring WATER in the limo with you. It's important to be fully relaxed at the helps believe it or not. Some people (like me) end up with cotton mouth when it's really hot out and they are nervous. That darn glass of water lol. Also, at my reception, I was so worried about this and that. There was about 30 minutes left at my reception hall when DH and I finally got to dance around with our guests. All because I had to nit-pick at everything and I was so nervous.

All in all, with everything that went wrong, I had a wonderful time and I would do it over in a heart beat! Try to enjoy it because it goes by so fast that you blink and it's over. It's actually kind of sad afterwards. Most importantly, I wish I was relaxed more to enjoy it!

ok....I am so totally excited that I thread I started has more than 2K views!!!
I always wonder why people seem to have more problems with limo's than any other vendor.
It would seem like more could go wrong with food or flowers...but limo's seem to be the most common problem.
(I didn't have one so I don't know anything about it!)
Happy New Year new brides!

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Posted by Mich0621

1. The wedding lasts 5 hours, the marriage lasts a lifetime. Remember this before you get caught up in the wedding drama.

2. Make sure your BM is FULLY aware of any special requests-we had a kosher style wedding with 150 temple members alone, not counting the rest of the family. Needless to say, MIL had a nervous breakdown when she saw shrimp on the sushi buffet.

3. Don't overdo the DIYs-I still get annoyed at myself when I see the massive amount of programs that I have left over and can do nothing with!

4. Don't be lured in by every extra that your BH has. We went with the wedding cake and a plated dessert and trust me, no one finished either!!!!

5. If you have special requests/play it and die songs, kindly hand your DJ another copy that day-This way there is no question as to what they should be playing when. Maybe then i would have wound up with the correct cake cutting song!

And I am adding a 6.-Revert to 1: Don't let the wedding get bigger than the marriage. We will be married a year in 2 months from now. Does this make me the wedding expert? No. But I do know that after the flowers dry up, the TYs are written, your album and video (neither which you will really watch or look at if you are anything like me, unless trying to torture houseguests) are picked up, and your dress is put away in a dark closet, you will have each other....and everything that goes with it. And this is the best thing ever and the thing everyone should know!

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I really like what you have had to say. I am just happy that someone really put it took such great words

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Posted by marriedinmontauk

ok....I am so totally excited that I thread I started has more than 2K views!!!
I always wonder why people seem to have more problems with limo's than any other vendor.
It would seem like more could go wrong with food or flowers...but limo's seem to be the most common problem.
(I didn't have one so I don't know anything about it!)
Happy New Year new brides!

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happy new year too!

I wish I knew that one of my bridesmaids was going to be a backstabber! I had to edit her out of my video cuz she had a smog on her face the entire time, and her head on the table. Its still hard to believe how phony people can be just so they can be apart of a wedding party ( the only wedding party she will probably ever be in )! Ive learned my lesson.




Other than this...our wedding was amazing! I wouldnt change a thing!

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Posted by songwriterchic


4. Don't Stop & Chat Too Often: I feel like I spent most of my reception chatting with people, most of whom skipped out on my church ceremony. If I could go back, if they weren't there for the receiving line, then too bad I'm enjoying my reception.

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Yes!! Thank you!!