... inviting co-workers (and former co-workers) with guests?
Here's my dilemma:
At two of my former jobs, I became VERY close with my co-workers-- they were more like friends than co-workers. I still keep in touch with pretty much all of them (from the two jobs combined, there are about 12 of them).
My problem lies in the fact that I am being forced by my looovely Italian parents (who, by the way, are inviting practically everyone they know to my wedding!) to cut my 'friends' guest list to the bare minimum.
All my former co-workers (yes, ALL) are either married or are in long-term relationships, so if I invited them all with guests, that'd be 24 people.
The hard thing is that I can't pick and choose who will come and who won't, partially because I'm still close to ALL of them (I still hang out with pretty much all of them on a semi-regular basis), and partially because there would be hurt feelings.
Do you girls think it's crazy for me to invite all 12 of my former co-workers... but to invite them all without guests?
prunepie
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i dont think you can invite someone without a guest. i mean maybe if they were family and they knew you were paying etc..but i dont think you can say ' come to my wedding, but alone please'
i dont know ,,curious as to what others think xo jenn
cindyandkevin
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I'd be very upset and prob wouldn't go if I was invited to a wedding without my FI. A wedding is a time when couples dance and 'love is in the air'. I think most people would feel lonely being there without their other half. JMO!
M&LSept1606
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I'm inviting all my co-workers who I really enjoy hanging out with.
In your case if you talk to all of them I say all or none. They are your friends and you see them more than your family most of the time.
Dooles
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If there were any who are single you could probably get away with inviting them solo, but any in a long-term relationship and especially any who are engaged/married should really be invited with a guest. I'd say better to skip inviting them than to invite them solo - they'd probably be offended.
reenielady
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If they are all friend with each other I would think it would be ok to invite them without the guests. I would tell them before hand that you want them to be at your wedding and are ltd to the number of people. Then they can make the decision if they want to go solo or not.
EmberLynn
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You can refuse them not to have a guest, HOWEVER if they are married or in a long term relationship, you really can't just invite them without their spouse, or long term bf/gf.
Have you talked to your parents? Are they paying for everything?
I told my grandfather flat out my aunt and her daughter aren't comming to my wedding. He threw a fit, but its my wedding. But hes also not paying.
You should try pleaing with them, explaining that this is YOUR day and you feel theses people are very important to you. Its wortha shot.
Aly0124
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From your explanation, it sounds like 12 former co-workers plus 12 guests is your bare minimum. I don't think you can pick and choose. I also think you need to allow them to bring a guest. Just explain the situation to your parents and tell them that these 24 people is the bare minimum.
leese
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noooo....gotta invite them with guests.
i was in the same boat and i took the plunge and invited them all. i'm sure that they all aren't going to come, but at least i won't feel bad about it.
it was the right decision for me, because I could tell a few of them were surprised/pleased to be invited....
i spend more time with these people than i do my FH!!!
MissingTheBGene
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I agree with everyone, they really need to be invited with their significant other.
EvaLution333
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Ohhh I was HOPING you wouldn't say that-- it'd make it SO much easier for me.
I think I left out one very important detail though-- they are all good friends with each other. It's not like they'd be sitting there all alone, with no one to talk to. It'd kinda be like a reunion.
Plus, I spoke with one of my old co-workers yesterday, and she said she'd be TOTALLY fine with not being invited with a date, b/c she'd feel like her bf would be a 'fifth wheel' of sorts, b/c all the co-workers would be chatting it up and their significant others would be left on the sidelines.
The problem is that my guest list is almost at 300. My friends list is at 59, and I really can't cut it back any more (what makes it harder is that ALL my friends, except 2, are in serious long-term relationships).
I don't know what I'm going to do, b/c there are DEFINITELY going to be hurt feelings here.
What do you girls suggest-- inviting all 24 of them is not an option, b/c that would bring my guest list well over 300. My parents are NOT budging on letting me invite more friends, and they are paying for the wedding.
MissingTheBGene
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Hm. With all due respect, I understand that your parents are paying for the wedding (just the hall, or the whole thing?) and they gave YOU (for YOUR wedding day) and list of how many of your friends you can invite? That seems a little unfair to me. 59 people out of 300? Whose wedding is this? I'm not sure of the ratio between your FI's side and your side, but I would try and speak to your parent's about it and see if they will budge given the situation, perhaps they are inviting people that can be cut on their side, you are simply asking them to compromise.
If it's a no, can you perhaps offer to pay for the additional plates? If that's not possible either, I would pick and choose, or not invite anyone at all if you feel that too many feelings would be hurt. Sorry, JIMO.
nygirl77
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Someone at my mother's office just invited the co-workers without guests. They were all women and had a ball as a big group. Don't know if this works all the time though. Especially if they are not all friendly with one another.
ali120206
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Posted by EvaLution333
Ohhh I was HOPING you wouldn't say that-- it'd make it SO much easier for me.
I think I left out one very important detail though-- they are all good friends with each other. It's not like they'd be sitting there all alone, with no one to talk to. It'd kinda be like a reunion.
Plus, I spoke with one of my old co-workers yesterday, and she said she'd be TOTALLY fine with not being invited with a date, b/c she'd feel like her bf would be a 'fifth wheel' of sorts, b/c all the co-workers would be chatting it up and their significant others would be left on the sidelines.
The problem is that my guest list is almost at 300. My friends list is at 59, and I really can't cut it back any more (what makes it harder is that ALL my friends, except 2, are in serious long-term relationships).
I don't know what I'm going to do, b/c there are DEFINITELY going to be hurt feelings here.
What do you girls suggest-- inviting all 24 of them is not an option, b/c that would bring my guest list well over 300. My parents are NOT budging on letting me invite more friends, and they are paying for the wedding.
Although it's not the norm, I have heard of people doing this, a few friends of mine have and my FH is planning on doing this with the guys from his firehouse (he told them if they come w/o a date, he can invite more of them-ok so they are guys and it doesn't count).
It's not a bad thing if you explain to them the situation before you do it, I've learned through the years as a sounding board for disgruntled friends, it's better, even if you are inviting a single without a guest, to explain your situation first because some people, even people without a definite guest at the time the invite goes out, get offended.
Another option would be to offer to pay for the extra people if you have the room for them.
ellebelle1
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You can get away with this only if the co-workers are all friends. If not, they might not go without a guest because they'll end up feeling very uncomfortable.
TurboGirl
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Posted by MissingTheBGene
I agree with everyone, they really need to be invited with their significant other.
I definitly agree since you are close with them.
SuzBride
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How would you feel if they were getting married and invited you without your FH? I think you need to pick and choose and invite them WITH guests, especially if they have long term SI or spouses.
Good luck.
EvaLution333
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Thank all you girls for your opinions, you are all very helpful!
I am stil on the fence with this one though. To be honest with you, if the tables were turned, I would be completely 100% okay if I was invited without my fiance... mostly because everyone is friends and we ALL get along very well.
And I really think they will ALL be fine with not being invited with their significant others, because they are all so close.
I think I am just going to wait this one out. We are sending out 'family' invites a full month before 'friends' invites, with hopes that some family will reply that they are not coming and then we can invite more guests with dates.
