What are you most defensive/sensitive about?

I am really sensitive about my looks and my writing.

Because of my body image issues, how I feel about myself on any given day is directly a result of what I think I look like. Who I see in the mirror is far from what I think I look like. Sometimes I'm surprised that a normal person is looking back at me.

And the writing - I feel like if you think that my writing suckks, then you think I suck.

hmmm...

I am sensitive about a few things. I think people imagine that I am sensitive about my looks, and I am in some ways, but in others, not so much.

it doesn't effect my overall view of myself, but I lose the saucy/vixenish part of myself that comes out when I think I look good (ie not chubby). I do hate my hideous feet without equivocation, and when my stomach becomes less than flat, it makes me but once I start throughout my day, and I start to laugh and have fun...I forget about these things...until I go home.

I am most sensitive about my inner self. I am a VERY emotional person...for some reason i've always felt things very deeply. I know that I can be hurt easily as soon as I let a person get close to me, so I very rarely, if ever, do. it's probably also why I am indifferent to most things. not caring about something=not being able to be hurt by it.

My boobs

my looks/weight - I have been called ugly/fat in the past and I tend to internalize all negative comments about my looks (and disregard all positive feedback). I don't have confidence in my looks so I am very sensitive to all comments regarding either. I tend to be paranoid and think people are perceiving me/judging me all the time.

my house - I have put alot of work into it already, so I don't appreciate critiques. DH and I are paying the mortgage, so we are the only ones who get a say

How ironic that I just posted a new thread about speaking or writing well, and that’s something that you just posted about being sensitive about.

I am usually very high energy, but I have days when I’m just not that excited about everything and it really gets to me and I feel like I need to try extra hard those days…

In general, I am not sensitive about my looks. With the huge exception of my hair, or lack of it. Over the years I have lost a lot of the hair on my head. I used to have so much thick, curly, beautiful hair. Now I have female pattern baldness and am just putting on a front when I look confident when I'm dressed up because I know that everyone can see that I'm losing all my hair.

I feel like people notice it all the time and I swear they are staring at me - at the supermarket, on the train, etc. I couldn't even get a nice hairstyle done for the wedding because I basically just had to work with what I had and hoped that it would be good enough. Okay- I guess I have major issues with it.

eta - also about the cleanliness of my home.

My weight/body . . .
I've always been chubby. I flirted with normal, but never thin.
I know I'm overweight and am highly sensitive/defensive when people point it out on me or others.
Not sure why that hasn't put my will power into overdrive - ever. I guess that's an issue for another post.

I used to be really sensitive about my height, I hated being short but I've turned it around and accepted that I'm cute instead of tall and sexy.

I've always been sensitive about what I say/write. I only open my mouth when I feel truly comfortable in a situation and even then I often second-guess myself and over-analyze what people's possible reactions are going to be.

my body - everyone thinks that since I am thin I should have this great body image.

But no one knows what lurks beneath the clothing . . . it really is a mess under there. And I will always hate it.

also - my 'nerdiness' i always feel like the 'cool people' will reject me.

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Posted by ant n tilde
also - my 'nerdiness' i always feel like the 'cool people' will reject me.

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You are among many nerds here and I think that we all are rather cool.

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Posted by JanuaryBride06

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Posted by ant n tilde
also - my 'nerdiness' i always feel like the 'cool people' will reject me.

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You are among many nerds here and I think that we all are rather cool.

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word.

I even wear glasses full time.

My body is a wreck these days. I had a decent body image for a while in my 20's - but then I had some health challenges and pain challenges and childbirth... and now I am at the heaviest I have EVER been.

I can make light of it with people when I know they care.. like the other day I said something like 'I love your 6 pack' because he has really hardened up lately. His response 'I love your keg'.

See - now I can totally laugh at that sincerely - because I know that he loves me. But if it is My body is a wreck these days. I had a decent body image for a while in my 20's - but then I had some health challenges and pain challenges and childbirth... and now I am at the heaviest I have EVER been.

I can make light of it with people when I know they care.. like the other day I said something like 'I love your 6 pack' because he has really hardened up lately. His response 'I love your keg'. See - now I can totally laugh at that sincerely - because I know that he loves me. But if it is someone and I am uncertain of how they feel about me... the slightest comment will devastate me.

I also get sensitive about whether or not I am intelligent enough or witty enough for other people. Sometimes I feel like cryptic remarks are secretly aimed at me. Even on here I get weird - I love the banter and the wit - but I will often refrain from participating in certain conversations because they are clearly meant for those folks who are ‘in the know’. Normally it doesn’t bother me because I know the girls on here all know and love each other on and off the web and that I am just not a part of that community – but I admit that sometimes I get sad when I see comments about ‘invasions’ from outsiders .. I wonder if those comments are aimed at me so I kind of slink away…

I also feel self conscious about how I raise my children – if I am a good mother, if I am doing the right thing. I CRINGE when people criticize my parenting decisions. When I made the decision to breastfeed, FH’s parents were APPALLED. They seriously thought the whole idea of breastfeeding was disgusting. My first son still breastfed at night until he was 15 months old because weaning him was harder than I had anticipated. YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE how angry they were about that. They acted like I was a child molestor. I also like my kids to be able to be creative.. and I am NOT a neat freak like his mother. One day she came over and the kids and I were outside digging in the dirt and making mud pies and we were FILTHY. I thought she was going to have a heart attack. She told Rob that the boys could get a parasite and die because I was being so lax about their hygiene. They also criticize the fact that I have a room in the house dedicated entirely to their artistic pursuits. They are allowed to paint, play with clay, do pottery, draw, mold - whatever. They also do 'experiments' down there. They mix different color food coloring with water and make rainbow ice cubes - or they mix salt with sugar and see which flavor is more prominent. I have all the tools for them. The walls are made so that giant sheets of paper can be hung up and the floors are a wreck... covered in paint that will never come off and foot prints.. They get really messy down there... and I always get snide comments about the 'room that she lets them run'. I always make sure that they are supervised - but I don't interfere or tell them how to draw or what the results of their explorations will be. There are no sharp objects or toxic substances around -but I get underhanded comments about endangering my kids anyway. .It makes me sad and self conscious that they think I am a bad mom.

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Posted by ssdbk

My work hours. I have friends and family who do not understand that just because I am self employed, I cannot entertain whoever wants to drop in to visit me at the office and I cannot run out to meet them during the day or leave early because they want to do something fun. Since when does self employed = not having to get work done?

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I understand you on this one - FH owns a bait store and my entire family doesn't understand why he can't just take off for Memorial Day or Labor Day and just relax! Sometimes I think it would just be easier to just say 'His boss won't let him' instead of trying to explain what having a good work ethic means

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Posted by rojerono

– but I admit that sometimes I get sad when I see comments about ‘invasions’ from outsiders .. I wonder if those comments are aimed at me so I kind of slink away…

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no, they are not.

and for the record, they are not aimed at anyONE. they may be aimed at threads, but it's the threads that are started elsewhere and get moved here that we beyotch about...b/c we DO have a 'theme' here, as unofficial as it may be...and throwing the unrelated stuff from other boards down here is the same thing...it messes up OUR flow.

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Posted by JessicaM.
no, they are not.

and for the record, they are not aimed at anyONE. they may be aimed at threads, but it's the threads that are started elsewhere and get moved here that we beyotch about...b/c we DO have a 'theme' here, as unofficial as it may be...and throwing the unrelated stuff from other boards down here is the same thing...it messes up OUR flow.

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yeah... i kinda know - which is why I keep slinking back But it is just another example of something that I can be overly sensitive about.

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Posted by rojerono
I also feel self conscious about how I raise my children –

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wow - i feel like i am listening to my mother! My grandmother ( my dad's mom) was the same exact way as your ILs except she LIVED with us! One big difference is: my mom never stood up to her and you are totally doing the right thing by just raising your kids how YOU want to!! You sound like such a great mom and your kids are going to remember that forever!! DON'T GIVE IN TO THEM!! Please, I feel like crying right now bc what I remember most about my childhood is HIDING from my grandmother things that any other American normal family does out in public. And my mom just being totally miserable.

Breastfeeding was disgusting so my mom never got to experience that - even though all my aunts breastfed their kids until they were in kindergarten practically!

If we woke up early on a weekend and crawled into our parents' bed. . .that was just disgusting and immoral

If we were allowed to play and make a mess, my grandmother would CRY hysterically about how my mother was ruining our lives.

and i remember all of this - so you have to make sure that you stay strong! Sorry I am lecturing you but this is so important! and a lesson my mother learned about 40 years too late! My mother is a saint though because she became my grandma's FULL TIME caretaker when she got Alzheimer's, and trust me the things that she did after she got this illness were DEFINITELY more disgusting then breast feeding!!

I don't know... I'm not really sensitive about anything.

Anything that I could be sensitive about - I have the power to change it so I don't deserve to be sensitive about it.

Like body image - is my stomach a little flabby? Yes. But I can change that.

Are my teeth a little crooked? Yes. But I can change that.

Do I lose my temper really fast? Yes. But I can change that.

I am defensive of and sensitive about my family. I can't change them.

I think that most of the things we're (people in general) sensitive about can be changed and therefore are not 'worthy' of being sensitive about.

I think a lot of time and hurt and depression and anxiety is wasted on things that can be changed.

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Posted by ant n tilde

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Posted by ssdbk

My work hours. I have friends and family who do not understand that just because I am self employed, I cannot entertain whoever wants to drop in to visit me at the office and I cannot run out to meet them during the day or leave early because they want to do something fun. Since when does self employed = not having to get work done?

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I understand you on this one - FH owns a bait store and my entire family doesn't understand why he can't just take off for Memorial Day or Labor Day and just relax! Sometimes I think it would just be easier to just say 'His boss won't let him' instead of trying to explain what having a good work ethic means

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On the other hand, there are my parents, who think that if I do not work 24/7, I am totally slacking and that maybe I just don't understand what it takes to run a business. My response to them is always the same--I'm not asking them to pay my bills, so something must be going right!