My FMIL, my mother and I were talking weddnig stuff yesterday...
FMIL asked about my side of the bridal party and I told her. She said, WHY isnt D$%^& in Bridal Party???
I told her that my FH and I discussed it and that since it is only FH's brothers girlfriend and not really my friend it wouldnt be necessary.
She said, ye, but they have been dating 5 years
This is true they have been however they are always on the brink of breaking up, she is nto my favorite person, she is cheap, she is okay...but not really my friend and even Fh is not overly fond of her.
FMIL and my mom began talking about it my mom tried to help me out...but she still thought i wasnt doing the right thing and that she was going to be upset
FH and I discussed it when we got home and he said that I absolutely do not have to have brothers girlfriend...BUT the last thing i want to do is cause drama!
Should i have brothers girlfriend to avoid problems or stick my guns and not change my plans?
please give advice
ambersmom
Posted:
Member since
Re: WHAT DO I DO?LONG
Posted by Gailita
Personally, i wouldn't let anyone tell me who should be in my bridal party, if you and that person aren't friends you are not obligated to include her in your wedding just because her boyfriend is party of the wedding. It's your wedding day do what makes you comfortable and happy, your FH doesn't have a problem with it so don't stress yourself.
Absolutely!!!
july06bride
Posted:
Member since
Re: WHAT DO I DO?LONG
Your advice has been priceless...it has been bothering my all day! Just spoke to MOH and she said the same things as you
what is really weird is that FMIL has never really been upset with me and has never complained about anything with the wedding...why she is picking this i have no ideah
GsCM4EVA
Posted:
Member since
Re: WHAT DO I DO?LONG
I am asking both of my fiances sisters boyfriends to be in our wedding party...They've been dating both of them over 5 years and I want them to be it...We are not overly close, but I want them to be in it. I'm also thinkin bout asking my brothers girlfriend...they've been dating a lil over a year but me and her are good friends... And whoever doesn't like it, too bad!!
McSulllivan
Posted:
Member since
Re: WHAT DO I DO?LONG
STICK TO YOUR GUNS! Go with your gut instinct on this one!!
csorisi
Posted:
Member since
Re: WHAT DO I DO?LONG
I agree stick to your guns and if you FMIL continues to press the issue have your FH speak to her or both of you speak to her & explain the situation to her...in the end it is your wedding and your BP--it is not worth it to go against what you want to please someone else--it would be different if they were married.
wood2be
Posted:
Member since
Re: WHAT DO I DO?LONG
I wouldn't! There is no need for you to have anyone in your bridal party that you don't want.
beautyq115
Posted:
Member since
Re: WHAT DO I DO?LONG
Its your wedding...you don't HAVE TO HAVE ANYONE IN IT its your decision
Jamie&MarkSept.'05
Posted:
Member since
Re: WHAT DO I DO?LONG
No way! Especially since she could be completely uninvolved with the family in the future....
It is about you and your FH not anyone else!
N.Y.bride
Posted:
Member since
Re: WHAT DO I DO?LONG
I cant believe she said that. Since when do we have to put girlfriends in the bridal party too? Then what boyfriends? I would stick to your plans.
eric'sbride
Posted:
Member since
Re: WHAT DO I DO?LONG
Do what you want. It is your day to have the people that matter to YOU around!
LMFitz
Posted:
Member since
Re: WHAT DO I DO?LONG
Forget about FMIL's 2 cents, and decide based on what feels right to you.
I'm in an identical situation - and I'm not asking her to be in my party - and I don't feel the least bit bad
jpsgirl
Posted:
Member since
Re: WHAT DO I DO?LONG
Tell your FMIL sure, you'll be glad to have her, just tell her to call up her son and tell him to get off his *** and propose already after 5 years, and then you'll ask her!!
LandJ
Posted:
Member since
Re: WHAT DO I DO?LONG
Stick to your guns! This is your wedding and you are the only one who has the right to determine who you are having as bridesmaids. I know it is tough, but it's important to stand your ground in this situation. The more you give in, the more people will try and take advantage unfortunately.
naps627
Posted:
Member since
Re: WHAT DO I DO?LONG
don't do it
catherine
Posted:
Member since
Re: WHAT DO I DO?LONG
I agree with everyone and say stick to your guns!!!! You should have who YOU want in your BP.
Marisa M
Posted:
Member since
Re: WHAT DO I DO?LONG
ABSOLUTELY NOT ! You should NEVER have anyone you don't want to in your Bridal Party - Those people are supposed to be who YOU feel closest to, who YOU want to share everything with you .........NOT your FBIL's girlfriend. - My FBIL is married, his wife is ok - not our favorite person. - she's not involved in the wedding at all.......I'm not close to her ! I have my own friends and family.......stick to your guns.
marymoon
Posted:
Member since
Re: WHAT DO I DO?LONG
I honestly don't see why you would even condier having her in the BP to begin with..she's FH's brother's gf. I've been with FH for 6 years, and we're engaged, and uf his siter were getting amrried, I'd NEVER expect to be in her BP... Unless you're close, there's really no reason. Even if they were engaged...even if they were married...some people don't even include all of their siblings, much less ibling's SO's. I really don't hink you need to. Just stick to your guns
soon2bmrsVPT
Posted:
Member since
Re: WHAT DO I DO?LONG
It's your wedding, do as you wish!
LauraD419
Posted:
Member since
Re: WHAT DO I DO?LONG
I am a firm believer in having who you want and not breaking down to anyone however...
When my brother got married, FH and I were not yet engaged. My brother did not ask FH to be a groomsman and on his wedding day he felt horrible about that choice! He did everything to include FH like ask him to do a reading, get him a flower, take him in the limo, have him there when he was getting ready, etc. FH was not disappointed (at least he says he wasn't), but I can tell you that my brother regrets not having had him.
In the future, this person may be part of your family. I'm just putting this out there for you. Do what you feel in your heart is right!
ETA: I realize this thread was bumped from 2 years ago..so this is obviously not relevant..sorry!
tcotier
Posted:
Member since
Re: WHAT DO I DO?LONG
Um... this post is from 2005... I don't think it's a problem anymore.
ETA: I think the Newlyweds are playing games again... I wonder how many points they got for my 2 head scratchers
