What do u expect from ur bm?

I know we posted this question about a month ago but i figured after the we might want to discuss it again.

All i am asking of my bridesmaids is to purchase and alter their dresses, attend the shower and bach party, come to the RH, and come the day of on time. If you buy the dress and the next time i see you is at my wedding, and you have special circumstances, fine. What's imporant is that person physically being there on that one day.

If for whatever reason they cannot do one of the above for valid reasons ($, work, fam obligations, school, etc) then that's fine and i REALLY don't see the big deal of it. Everyone else's lives don't stop because of our weddings and we can't expect them to. It's a wedding day, not a freakin wedding year (or year + for me). If they don't do one of the above it doesn't mean they are a bad friend. You can't expect people to do for you exactly what you have done for them. Everyone's situation and lives are different and if people are going to be measured up to your standards then you'll always be dissapointed by everyone.

guess this also turned into a vent lol.

just to buy the dress and everything that goes along with that.

be there for the shower/bachelorette party and help plan it if my MOH needs anything.

and just to show up the day of to support me and fh

I agree adrian.

And hence, I am only having my sis

The wedding will be nice regardless.
Plus, most, if not all of my friendsa are already married, have mortages, etc. I'd rather them attend the wedding as a guest.

I dont expect very much -- beyond buying the dress and showing up. It would be nice if they helped plan the shower -- but with 7 or 8 people in my wedding party -- it's not easy for that many girls to coordinate. SO, if someone isnt involved, I dont really care. I'd also like them all to attend the bachelorette party-- but since most are starting to haveor already have kids -- I wont have a heart attack if they cant make it.

I dont think it's fair to expect much from a bridal party. I dont think their role is to be a maid, servant or a wedding coordinator. I am qute capable of plannng my wedding with little help, so dont expect my friends to drop everything to attend vendor meetings etc.

I only have a MOH and BM. My MOH is my sister, who lives out of state (FL) and my BM is my best friend, who lives near me in Queens.
I also only expect them to buy a dress (and they can pick the style, I just want to pick the color), alter it, attend the shower/bachelorette party and be there on time for the ceremony and reception.

The one thing I'm asking my best friend to do with me is shop for a dress. Since my mom and sister live in FL, I don't have anyone else to go with. But we've been best friends for 24 years, so I know that she's excited to do it and she has actually said to me, 'I know your family isn't here so if you want to go dress shopping with me, just let me know when!' She's also offered to help with DIY stuff. So sweet!

I expect the basic things as well: dress, attending events, etc.
However, I also expect support and interest from them. It is a simple and free thing to do.

nothing. just buy the dress and show up looking fly.

thats it.

I couldn't agree more!!!

From my BMs I expect them to buy the dress, show up at the wedding, and hopefully the shower. If they can make the bachelorette party too that would be great, if not no problem.

From my MOHs I expect a little more help than from the BMs. Just ask me how it's going and if you can do anything. They do this, so I have no complaints. They're both great! For example, they came with me to a florist appointment after dress shopping, so I bought them dinner.

In any situtation it has to be give and take. If you're not being a good friend in general to a BM, don't expect them to go out of their way for you. Just my two cents.

I agree with everything you said...dress, alterations, look presentable on the day-of, come to events...and I hope that they will all help somewhat with the bridal shower since my Mom will be backing it monetarily. All 3 of my girls are great though, I can't imagine they will cause any problems.

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Posted by grkbarbie

nothing. just buy the dress and show up looking fly.

thats it.

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same here.

i feel bad that they even need to do all this.

couldnt have said it better myself

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Posted by MarjorieFrank

I expect the basic things as well: dress, attending events, etc.
However, I also expect support and interest from them. It is a simple and free thing to do.

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ITA

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Posted by bulldoglover

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Posted by MarjorieFrank

I expect the basic things as well: dress, attending events, etc.
However, I also expect support and interest from them. It is a simple and free thing to do.

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ITA

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ita with this too

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Posted by MrsC2010

just to buy the dress and everything that goes along with that.

be there for the shower/bachelorette party and help plan it if my MOH needs anything.

and just to show up the day of to support me and fh

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thats it, nothing more

My sister is my MOH and she is great and wants to help with everything. I wouldn't expect my BM's to do anything except get the dress and show up on day of wedding. They are all going to help with stuff though - that's their choice. And I appreciate all the more.