What do you call FMIL??

Original post by Summer101

Mar 06, 2006 08:52 PM

Do you call your FMIL mom or will you call by her first name?? My FSIL calls her by her first name and I feel that might be disrespectful and should call her mom? Has this come up at all with anyone?

Summer101 Posted: Mar 06, 2006 09:29 PM

Re: What do you call FMIL??

Posted by vixchik

This totally came up! And this is long, sorry.

So when I first met FMIL, I had known FI for about 2 months...he flew me up from NC to NY to meet everyone...and we weren't even supposedly 'serious' at the time....so all I knew was that she was 'Vic's mom.' She would send me packages all the time because in her words, 'everyone likes to get little gifts in the mail.' I never really paid any attention to how she signed the cards...and it varied from Mrs. M to Mrs. Myfuturelastname and her first name......so I would send thank-you cards promptly to her and I would use her first name, 'cause any time I've met my friends' parents they would say call me 'susan' or 'mom'---and so would my mom, in fact, the day MY mom met FH she said, 'call me Cathy. ' end of possible confusion right there..............well, turns out that FI's mom at that time found it impolite and improper and out of
place for me to refer to her by her first name....oh I'm sorry, was I supposed to call you dirt bag??? ***?!?! so FH tells me that I must (MUST) send those thank-yous to Mrs. Myfuturelastname and how FBIL's ex was around for 4 years and never was allowed to call her by her frist name.....well, this really upset me b/c i thought she and i were close and seh didn't bother to tell me, she told him to ! well guess waht??? after i started to send them the way FH said to, she started sending the gits signed withher first name only!

Fast forward to the fall of 2004 when I moved to NY...she corners me in the car and says we gotta figure this name thing out....um, yikes. Well, it never got very resolved b/c I was supposed to call them Mr and Mrs. Myfuturelastname...gag me!!!!! they aren't my school teachers....so anyway........move along to March 2005....we get engaged.....guess what they said to me!?!?! instead of just a congrats, i got 'well, this solves the name issue, you can just call us mom and dad now. now you're a part of the family.' what? a freakin' ring makes me part of the family and NOW i am close enough...geez.

so i say call them whatever makes you comfortable....i call them mom and dad in emails, and refer to them as 'your mom and dad' with FH and try avoiding all situations where i might need to yell for them across the room...and luckilly i have a 4 year old so i can say, go tell nana_____!

Really confusing- You would think they would have just let you call them by their first names until you are married and then call them mom and dad-

Summer101 Posted: Mar 06, 2006 09:30 PM

Re: What do you call FMIL??

Posted by JandJ1224

this is a funny story this convo came up with FMIL and I said I guess I would call you mom after we are married, she said do not call me mom! She said she likes to be called MOMMY!!! WHAT! I am not calling her mommy! Well anyway I guess I'll just continue to call her by her first name for now.

that sounds like a 2 year old lol

kaybeeber Posted: Mar 06, 2006 09:35 PM

Re: What do you call FMIL??

Its a hard one. Even though FH's parents are so nice and friendly, we've hardly ever talked about it. I do try to avoid calling their names at all...how sad. But, they told me to call them by their first names, and I'm trying to warm up to it.

Summer101 Posted: Mar 06, 2006 09:37 PM

Re: What do you call FMIL??

Posted by kaybeeber

Its a hard one. Even though FH's parents are so nice and friendly, we've hardly ever talked about it. I do try to avoid calling their names at all...how sad.

Yeah, thats where I am at now

JennJay Posted: Mar 06, 2006 09:37 PM

Re: What do you call FMIL??

I call my FMIL by her first name,and my FFIL by his first name. Everytime I have ever gotten a card from them it is signed with their first names and when I called them Mr. or Mrs. whatever, they laughed and told me to called them by their first name.

JanuaryBride06 Posted: Mar 06, 2006 09:42 PM

Re: What do you call FMIL??

FMIL goes by her first name. I have one Mom and she's the best - FMIL is light years behind her.

oOMarshmallowOo Posted: Mar 06, 2006 09:46 PM

Re: What do you call FMIL??

I would have to call her Mom, but it'll feel really weird at first. I'm sure we'll get use to it.

lilred13 Posted: Mar 06, 2006 09:56 PM

Re: What do you call FMIL??

I do and will call her by her first name..no one in FH family calls the inlaws mom or dad So i guess i will keep the trend going

MrsStefan Posted: Mar 06, 2006 10:06 PM

Re: What do you call FMIL??

I usually don't call her anything. But when I have to call her something, I call her Mrs. (FH's last name). I dont feel comfortable calling her mom.

autumn Posted: Mar 06, 2006 10:08 PM

Re: What do you call FMIL??

I call her by her first name. After the wedding I think I might call her mom, she never had a daughter, I think she would love to have me call her mom. It will be different calling someone else mom.

psf80 Posted: Mar 06, 2006 10:47 PM

Re: What do you call FMIL??

First name.

tiffandmatt Posted: Mar 06, 2006 11:22 PM

Re: What do you call FMIL??

Started off calling them Mr. and Mrs. until they said I don't have to do that, now I call them by their first names. I don't know if I'll call them mom and dad after the wedding, most likely not though.

2Be1 Posted: Mar 06, 2006 11:54 PM

Re: What do you call FMIL??

My FH's mom has passed so I can't call her anything, nut I have been calling FH's dad 'daddy or dad' since we first started dating.

2Be1 Posted: Mar 06, 2006 11:55 PM

Re: What do you call FMIL??

Posted by sarahthegreat

pain in the azz..

oh wait, to her face? .

DandS Posted: Mar 07, 2006 12:03 AM

Re: What do you call FMIL??

Posted by 2Be1

Posted by sarahthegreat

pain in the azz..

oh wait, to her face? .

I call FIL's by their first names, and FH calls my parent's by their first names as well. And after the wedding I will ask FH what he wants to do. I want us both to decide what to call each other parent's. I don't see us calling each other's parent's mom and dad, but we will see.

EmberLynn Posted: Mar 07, 2006 12:07 AM

Re: What do you call FMIL??

My brothers fw calls our mom 'mom.' I personally don't like that. My mother never asked her to call her that and it does annoy me. But my mom doesn't care. I'm calling my FMIL by her first name. I wouldn't feel right calling her mom. She also never asked me to call her mom either. My FFIL I call Mr. M. He never asked me to call him by his first name and I respect that.

espresso Posted: Mar 07, 2006 12:07 AM

Re: What do you call FMIL??

i have NEVER called her by any name because i don't know what title/name to use!! So basically I talk to her w/o saying her name. If i need to get her attention I say 'Hey!' & start talking till she realizes im talking to her

yayi Posted: Mar 07, 2006 12:09 AM

Re: What do you call FMIL??

I call her by her nickname.

superkat Posted: Mar 07, 2006 12:09 AM

Re: What do you call FMIL??

I call her PITA. Just kidding. I call her 'mom' and I have for years, even before we were engaged.

OctoberPrincess2006 Posted: Mar 07, 2006 01:26 AM

Re: What do you call FMIL??

Probaly first name, I call her now by her first name or by Mrs. so and so. I personally feel strange calling someone other than my mother mom. I have been calling my FMIL mama (last name), but not to her, just when my FH and I talk about wedding lists and other topics. I think that sounds cool. We will see eventually if she will like it..