So, on Christmas Day my brother and his wife announce they are having a baby. Everyone is happy and then they look at me and say, there is one thing...I say, what?
Ends up, my wedding is Sept 2nd, and they are due on Sept 2nd!!! I obviously know that the due date doesn't necessarily mean that it is the exact day but I was flipping out.
On top of that, my sister-in-law was in the wedding party. So she is asking me what I want to do...She would be 8-9 months pregnant or still in the hospital, I can't ask her to be in the party.
I guess I am just venting but what am I supposed to say to #1, relieve her of her wedding party duties and #2 stay calm, this is the First Grandchild!!!
Espo22
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Re: What do you do ?
Uhmm I really don't understand why you are so mad...You act as if they did this on purpose and planned to have the baby around your wedding date...ALso, sorry but shouldn't you be happy for your brother rather than upset with him...
MnM52607
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Re: What do you do ?
If she isn't in the wedding, that will be a lot less stress for you. If she is offering to back out, then I think that is the best option.
Espo22
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Re: What do you do ?
I've seen many pregnant women in the bp
nifheim
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I think since she is due around or on that date .. she should back out. She will be stressed out and you will be stressed out enough. If she was to deliver a month or two later then i would of said keep her. She has to realize that she will be probably so busy with the baby and all the preps for the baby arrival that throwing in getting sized up for dresses and showers maybe too much.
jneandry
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Re: What do you do ?
Well I had a similar thing happen...My sister is preganant and was supposed to be in my BP but the baby will be 4 months old and she said she couldnt commit a whole day to me. I am actually not that upset with her not being in it now due to other issues that have come up, but the fact that I feel like she is being selfish. She is going back to work 3 months after the baby is born so she will either have to do day care or a sitter by then. So she could have gotten her husband to watch the baby for my one day. I did everything for her for her wedding, so I thought I would get that back in return. What goes around comes around I guess....So all I have to say is everything happens for a reason and the best! Everything will work out and just focus on your day and dont let other people get in the way. its just one day. Worse things can happen!!!
cds58019
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Posted by Espo22
I've seen many pregnant women in the bp
Me too, the only thing is that if she has the baby right before the wedding she's most likely not going to be want to be walknig down the aisle a few days after. And then that would screw up your BP plans probably. If she is volunteering to back out then I would agree with her.
libby2595
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Re: What do you do ?
it doesn't sound like you're angry, just sounds like this wonderful news blew a little of the wind out of your sails.
i think you should have a nice talk with your brother and his wife. first, celebrate the new baby. then have an adult conversation as to what this means to everyone involved. i think they will opt for her to step down only to make life easier for everyone.
hope things all work out smoothly.
you'll be an aunt and a wife in the same year!! same month? maybe even the same day!!
congrats!!
ali120206
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You could still have her be in the BP and if something happens and she can't be there, you'll just have an uneven number.
My friend got married on her MOHs due date and the MOH just waddled down the aisle and gave birth 2 days later.
Espo22
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Posted by cds58019
Posted by Espo22
I've seen many pregnant women in the bp
Me too, the only thing is that if she has the baby right before the wedding she's most likely not going to be want to be walknig down the aisle a few days after. And then that would screw up your BP plans probably. If she is volunteering to back out then I would agree with her.
well if she volunteered then there should be no problem...I don't know i guess i just don't understand how this situation can be addressed this way...your pregnant SIL is gonna screw everything up...not even really concerned if she is up to it or not, that would be more understandable...I just didn't understand the whole getting mad at her thing...They do have a life too and they can't revolve it just around you and your wedding, and not like this was intentional
EverlovingEv
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Re: What do you do ?
Ugh, I wrote this whole long thing and it got erased. Here's the short version: It's your wedding. It only happens once in a lifetime and you should have the whole world revolve around you on that day. If you dont think she'll be able to fulfill her bm duties then you can definitely ask her to step down. From what you've said, it seems like she'd want to anyway since her due date is so close to your wedding. Good luck!
Julybride08
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I think if she is backing down it's for the good. You don't want her to be up by the alter and go into labor. It's for the best. You should be happy for them. And the new baby can even share your wedding date with you. A lot can happen in 9 month. And her due date can change. It's only the begging.
Espo22
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Re: What do you do ?
Sorry, but i dont think the whole world should revolve around us, and people are not even allowed to get pregnant that year...We should be more happy that so many people want to share this special day with us rather than expect the world to revolve around us. I mean do any of us put our lives on hold when someone we know gets married...Ok i'll stop here, i can't go on about this
Shmar
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Awww....congrats on the baby, but i totally feel your pain. I would feel a little like someone stoel my thunder if that happened to me. I mean it is the first grandchild. On the other hand, I would tell her if she's going to be that pregnant, she doesn't have to be in the BP if she can't. It's less stress on your, and besides, and I know this is not the nicest thing to say, but sometimes pregnant women don't look as nice in the dresses you may have picked out. But, it's a decision you must make.
sr081906
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Re: What do you do ?
While I can understand your 'panic', I am sure they are not having a child on your wedding day just for the heck of it. They can't postpone TTC either for several months just because this is your wedding day. Sometimes it just happens.
I strongly suggest that she backs out of the BP. You and her don't need the stress to find out when she will have the baby.
1/ Baby comes early... she is too tired to come to the wedding and the BP obligations.
2/ Baby is late (that happens!)... she can't come, she could be in labor at anytime.
natseven
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Re: What do you do ?
sh**t happens. I think it would be best to relieve her of her BM duties...it'll be a lot less stressful on everyone and you can both look forward to two great events happening around the same time in September. My friend was in her sister's wedding two months ago and gave birth two days after the wedding but everyone was walking on eggshells b/c we didn't think she was going to make it. Her due date was exactly a week after the wedding.
Autumn08
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Posted by nserig1
I guess I am just venting but what am I supposed to say to #1, relieve her of her wedding party duties and #2 stay calm, this is the First Grandchild!!!
Congratulations!! Another member of the family!!
First make sure you give a heart felt congratulations. Second tell her you understand if she is not feeling up to being in the bp. Having a baby is alot of time, money, and energy!! Third, exactly what you said 'Stay calm, this is the first grandchild!' If she is at the wedding afterall maybe she can do a reading or a toast. There are other ways of having people involved.
bonniejd
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Re: What do you do ?
Congratulate her on the amazing news! Then, hope she has an easy pregnancy and a healthy baby, and then you worry about the BP issues... IMO you suggest to her a different role, one which does not require walking down the aisle and wearing a specific dress. If she gives birth early she will be able to take on that role easily, but may not be able to wear that maternity dress she ordered. If she is about to have a baby any day, she probably wont want to be waddling down the aisle. What an exciting time for you and your family. Your wedding will be wonderful and that much more joyous because of the new addition. Don't think of it as getting in the way of your day, but enhancing it! You may as well embrace the situation-it will be a great story for that kid when they grow up...there is nothing you can do to change it!
LaurenF
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I think she'll agree with you that it's too much for her to be a new mom and a bridesmaid---all quite possibly on the same day!!! She probably wants you to ask her to back out----it'll be a relief for her, i'm sure.
Tria1110
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Posted by natseven
sh**t happens. I think it would be best to relieve her of her BM duties...it'll be a lot less stressful on everyone and you can both look forward to two great events happening around the same time in September.
I agree. I didn't expect anyone to revolve around me for our wedding. And like someone else here said - it's not like they planned it. Life goes on. I think if you speak with her you will probably both agree that she should step away from her bm duties (although I find this funny as I didn't have my bm's doing anything except enjoy the day with me).
