What do you do ?

Just because she is due on your wedding date-I think it would be best to not have her in the wedding party. It would be A LOT on her-she won't need any added stress at that time. I wouldn't feel bad-this is a great thing! You are going to be an aunt!!!!!!!!! Congrats!

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Posted by EverlovingEv

Ugh, I wrote this whole long thing and it got erased. Here's the short version:
It's your wedding. It only happens once in a lifetime and you should have the whole world revolve around you on that day. If you dont think she'll be able to fulfill her bm duties then you can definitely ask her to step down. From what you've said, it seems like she'd want to anyway since her due date is so close to your wedding.
Good luck!

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I agree 100%. And I would just like to add that I do not think the poster of this thread was trying to make everyone's life revolve around her. Their is no need to be harsh ladies, she was asking a question from which she wrote out the answers and asked us to choose. People need to be a little less judge-mental because it will get you no where on this site!

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Posted by Maybride07

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Posted by EverlovingEv

Ugh, I wrote this whole long thing and it got erased. Here's the short version:
It's your wedding. It only happens once in a lifetime and you should have the whole world revolve around you on that day. If you dont think she'll be able to fulfill her bm duties then you can definitely ask her to step down. From what you've said, it seems like she'd want to anyway since her due date is so close to your wedding.
Good luck!

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I agree 100%. And I would just like to add that I do not think the poster of this thread was trying to make everyone's life revolve around her. Their is no need to be harsh ladies, she was asking a question from which she wrote out the answers and asked us to choose. People need to be a little less judge-mental because it will get you no where on this site!

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She didn't say that everything should revolve around her...someone else posted and said its our wedding days and the world should revolve around us...i quoted that person and commented on that.

Congratulations on becoming an aunt first and foremost! What an exciting time for your family.

I can understand your feeling about this situation, but I do not think it will be possible for your SIL to be in your wedding. She will either just have had a baby or is about to pop, or will go into labor on your wedding day. With all of those 'ifs' I would ask her to do something else on your day and have a backup for that as well.

It is your day.

Why don't you leave it up to your sister in law?

If she wants to take the gamble, let her order a (really huge!) bm dress...and see what happens. Many 1st babies come late - she might feel great that day, and want to be a bm.....or she might be too tired to get thru the day being a bm...it's a long day for everyone - 9 months pregnant it could just be exhausting.

if the baby comes a week or 2 before the wedding, she'd probably bow out - physically, you feel like you were run over by a train, you're working on minimal sleep, and who do you leave a newborn with for a whole day? If she is breastfeeding, she won't be able to be away from the baby for more than 2 hours at a time....

If you're okay not knowing how many bm's you have until the night before your wedding, leave it up to her.....just have a backup plan in place for who dances with who during that 1st dance, and what lucky bm would get to walk down the aisle with 2 groomsmen - just in case she can't come!

I say, give her a huge hug, tell her how excited you are to be an aunt, and what a doubly special day it would be if the baby came on your wedding day - the best gift of all! Then ask her what she wants to do....

and, congratulations, aunt-to-be!

Wow. Ok.
When I write something, it's obviously my opinion and I'm not asking anyone to comment on it. You should be answering the posters original question and not what I write.
I WANT the world to revolve around me on MY wedding DAY and if this is NOT how you feel - whatever. I DON'T want any children at MY wedding any many girls are making activity books to keep the kids entertained - again I say whatever. We're not all the same person and we have different opinions on how we want our wedding to be. I was simply stating my opinion and again I feel the need to say that it's best you give the poster your opinion on HER question and not critique MINE since that just hijacks the post and isn't fair to the original poster.

Have a great day!

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Posted by EverlovingEv

Wow. Ok.
When I write something, it's obviously my opinion and I'm not asking anyone to comment on it. You should be answering the posters original question and not what I write.
I WANT the world to revolve around me on MY wedding DAY and if this is NOT how you feel - whatever. I DON'T want any children at MY wedding any many girls are making activity books to keep the kids entertained - again I say whatever. We're not all the same person and we have different opinions on how we want our wedding to be. I was simply stating my opinion and again I feel the need to say that it's best you give the poster your opinion on HER question and not critique MINE since that just hijacks the post and isn't fair to the original poster.

Have a great day!

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I already had answered the poster...and just like every other thread, people dont just respond to the original poster, they respond to other peoples posts too, hmmm just about every thread...This is a public forum and people just might have something to say when you post something. Yes obviously everyone is there for you that day, but that doesn't mean you can't be happy for your brother when he is having his FIRST baby, i mean how would any of us feel if we were having our first kid and someone was upset about it. People cant and WILL NOT put a hold on their lives bc any of us are getting married...When i decide to have a baby, do i have to check to see whose wedding might be that year?

But just like you are entitled to your opinion, i am emtitled to mine. I posted more than once to the original poster. You stated your opinion on how the world should revolve around us that day and i stated mine, that is all. In life there will always be people who feel differently about things and a different perspective on life.

Also, i am not trying to be nasty or starting anything...just stating my opinion thats all

have a great day too

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Posted by Autumn08

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Posted by nserig1


I guess I am just venting but what am I supposed to say to #1, relieve her of her wedding party duties and #2 stay calm, this is the First Grandchild!!!

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Congratulations!! Another member of the family!!



First make sure you give a heart felt congratulations. Second tell her you understand if she is not feeling up to being in the bp. Having a baby is alot of time, money, and energy!! Third, exactly what you said 'Stay calm, this is the first grandchild!' If she is at the wedding afterall maybe she can do a reading or a toast. There are other ways of having people involved.

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Very well said!! I agree!

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Their is no need to be harsh ladies, she was asking a question from which she wrote out the answers and asked us to choose. People need to be a little less judge-mental because it will get you no where on this site!

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DITTO! I Think people come here for help, not judgment. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, and should be able to express them freely in a public forum, but there is more than one way to say the same thing so as not to judge.

I had a very similar situation happen to me. Our nephew was due 2 weeks before our wedding and we were engaged for almost 2 years before we got married so it wasn't like we sprang it up last minute... everyone knew when our date was for along time. My sister in law never backed out, though she offered to and I told her that it would be her decision. Again, the first grandchild. And my husband is the oldest and the first to get married so we always thought we'd be the ones to have the first grandchild, but that's besides the point... anyway, she ended up having the baby 2 weeks early, went and got her dress altered and was in our bridal party.
It was her brother getting married and she didn't want to miss that. I would suggest that if you're close to your sister in law that you leave the decision up to her or offer her the option of purchasing her dress and seeing if the baby's early or late or depending on what dresses your girls are wearing- if it's a color that she could match easily enough- let her get a dress later on that would match her into the bridal party. The odds of her having the baby on that date are very slim.
Just wait until AFTER your have your wedding and your other sister in law gives birth on YOUR anniversary so now every year on the family calendar it says 'The day after ___ & ______'s anniversary' on our calendar!!! Long story.... my other nephew couldn't wait the extra day that he was scheduled to be born on- he wanted to come a day early and wish us a happy anniversary!!! LOL!
Also, remember, your wedding is a huge event, I'm not lessening that at all but 10 years from now your wedding will be long gone, just a memory, but your family will still be there, and you don't want to hurt anyones feelings now that could haunt you for a very long time.

I would probably relieve her of her duties as a bridesmaid because I would want her to focus on her pregnancy. Pregnancy is a beautiful time, but it's also a hectic time. I would want her to enjoy her time without any added stress from my wedding.

A huge big CONGRATS to you!

Ladies,

Thank you all for responding to my question/situation. I appreciate and welcome everyones thoughts and comments, hence the reason for posting on the board.

First, let me clarify, I am extremely excited to be an aunt and for my brother to have his very first baby. This is a very exciting year for our whole family and I would never want to take away from their joyeous occasion.

Please understand that I was never the type of person to want my wedding day to revolve around me or even to have this big event. I am not that type of person.

But similiar to the situation of SReidy, I have been engaged for 2 years, I have invested alot of time, money/energy and I guess I was just alittle caught off guard that during the same time of year as the wedding a baby will be born. Also, I looked forward to having my immediate family involved in every aspect of the wedding especially since I was a big part of my brothers wedding.

The initial shock has warn off now and I plan to talk to my sister-in-law to talk more about the bridesmaid situation. I love the suggestion about having her play another role in the wedding.

Thanks for all of your comments, warm wishes and support.

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by Maybride07

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Posted by EverlovingEv

Ugh, I wrote this whole long thing and it got erased. Here's the short version:
It's your wedding. It only happens once in a lifetime and you should have the whole world revolve around you on that day. If you dont think she'll be able to fulfill her bm duties then you can definitely ask her to step down. From what you've said, it seems like she'd want to anyway since her due date is so close to your wedding.
Good luck!

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I agree 100%. And I would just like to add that I do not think the poster of this thread was trying to make everyone's life revolve around her. Their is no need to be harsh ladies, she was asking a question from which she wrote out the answers and asked us to choose. People need to be a little less judge-mental because it will get you no where on this site!

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She didn't say that everything should revolve around her...someone else posted and said its our wedding days and the world should revolve around us...i quoted that person and commented on that.

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wow