What do you say to friends who want to bring a guest?
NinaChris07
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What do you say to friends who want to bring a guest?
Did any of you - for budgetary reasons or for space reasons - only invite your guests with a guest if they had a serious significant other or a spouse? (in other words no '& guest' unless they were in a relationship)
If so, what did you or what do you plan to say when people ask you if they are invited with a guest or if they can bring a guest?
FH and I have a lot of young friends (in their 20s) who are single, and because we already have a too-high guest list, we thought it was fair and alright to only invite people with a guest if they were dating or married. (I also don't want random people at my wedding)
As I suspected, two days after I sent out the invites, people are asking!
thanks for your advice!
sugarkube4
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Re: What do you say to friends who want to invite a guest?
I told everyone up front that we are paying for this wedding and could not afford to invite everyone with a guest.. Lucky for us, all our single friends know everyone at the wedding, so it worked out for us.. Good Luck
prinses777
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Re: What do you say to friends who want to bring a guest?
People have already asked me without me even sending out the invites...
I am doing it on a person to person basis... if they are not with someone they know everyone at the table... then I am just going to have to say no that we just don't have to room...
If they don't know anyone and I actaully do have the room... then I will let them.
MJDoc12
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Re: What do you say to friends who want to bring a guest?
we invited everyone with a guest...but i can see why some ppl don't want to do that!
just tell your friends that the list is very full right now...and if you get some no's, you might be able to accomodate some friends with guests.
no matter what, ppl will be upset and you're still gonna ruffle some feathers...cause they just won't GET it! but try it that way and see how it goes!
HamptonsBride
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Re: What do you say to friends who want to bring a guest?
my friend did this at her wedding...and at the time most of us were single, and i completely understood...i was invited w/o a guest and had a blast dancing with all my other single guy & girl friends...i had no complaints...hopefully people will understand if you just explain that it's because of the large amount invited...good luck!!
NinaChris07
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Re: What do you say to friends who want to bring a guest?
yeah, we are also kind of doing it on that type of person-by-person basis.
If they don't know anyone, then we would understand their bringing a guest.
the people who HAVE asked, though, know lots of people and would bring someone who they don't know yet...
thanks for the advice!
dawnbridetobe
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Re: What do you say to friends who want to bring a guest?
I am doing the same thing-I've already explained the situation to my cousins and they were fine with it. As far as friends most are in BP, in which case thet are getting '& guest' or in a serious relationship. The only place I am allowing singles to bring guests who aren't in a serious relationship is if they really don't know anyone at the wedding. If I get questioned I will explain my reasoning honestly.
diva7531
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Re: What do you say to friends who want to bring a guest?
We are so over our maximum it's not even funny!!! So unless you're in a super serious relationship, a sibling, in the bridal party or know noone at all at the wedding, NO GUESTS!!! But explain nicley like someon said above, you are paying and have no room, but if you get a lot of no's, maybe. But then at least they'll get the point. Good Luck
Cpt2007
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Re: What do you say to friends who want to bring a guest?
We are trying to stay as close to this rule as possible:
If the invited person has been with someone for more than 6 months and we know that person, we are sending the invitation to both of them by name. If they have been with them for less than that and we don't know the sig other personally, we aren't extending the 'guest' slot on the invite.
If the person invited would only know one of the two of us, we are giving them a guest slot.
We are running into problems though b/c FH wants to allow his cousins a guest slot where they dont' meet the above guidelines, and I dont' want to b/c they will know the rest of the family!
It's a tough call, particularly where we are paying for it ourselves (and don't want to spend a ton) and we are also pushing the max on the room (we haven't booked it yet, but will probably do so this weekend).
Good luck!
Lools
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Re: What do you say to friends who want to bring a guest?
Posted by NinaChris07
Did any of you - for budgetary reasons or for space reasons - only invite your guests with a guest if they had a serious significant other or a spouse? (in other words no '& guest' unless they were in a relationship)
If so, what did you or what do you plan to say when people ask you if they are invited with a guest or if they can bring a guest?
FH and I have a lot of young friends (in their 20s) who are single, and because we already have a too-high guest list, we thought it was fair and alright to only invite people with a guest if they were dating or married. (I also don't want random people at my wedding)
As I suspected, two days after I sent out the invites, people are asking!
thanks for your advice!
We are planning to do the same thing. Haven't sent out invites yet though. This is a good question!
afrodyt2000
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Re: What do you say to friends who want to bring a guest?
I told them our guest list was really small, we're already over and we just can't allow guests. I haven't had too many people ask though.
ntunison
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Re: What do you say to friends who want to bring a guest?
everyone is invited with a guest... i think it's rude not to - JMO
DNicholes
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Re: What do you say to friends who want to bring a guest?
I told everyone up front as well. If they weren't engaged or dating someone, they could not bring a guest to the wedding, it's just to expensive to pay for a complete stranger.
ETA: I don't think it's rude at all. Most single friends won't end up bringing anyone anyway, most don't want to bother having to keep them entertained all night.
imas98
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Re: What do you say to friends who want to bring a guest?
We're telling people the same....we're at our capacity & if we get a bunch of no's & have the room then they can bring a guest. But as of now it's just not possible. Luckily we have a few friends that actually want to come without guests so that was very helpful ! If we had the space I'd invite everyone with a guest to give people the option. I've gone to weddings alone since I knew everyone there & I've also gotten to bring a date last minute because they finally had the extra room....it happens.
dalgitang
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Re: What do you say to friends who want to bring a guest?
we're doing the same. we just don't have enough room. only our friends that have been in relationships before our engagement are getting +1's.
i actually had a friend that IM'd me yesterday saying he wasn't going to come because he didn't have a +1 and he didn't think he would know anyone. (i was sad to hear that i have to admit) but when i told him that all of our mutual friends didn't have +1's either and that he would be sitting with them he quickly said he'd be there for the wedding....
NinaChris07
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Re: What do you say to friends who want to bring a guest?
I am going to tell them about the space and budget limitations...
The people I am worried about are people who literally bring guests they hardly know, or might not even know until that day (or try to 'scrounge up' someone as I was just told). And, to me, that's kind of rude....
Mandyin2007
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Re: What do you say to friends who want to bring a guest?
All of my friends knew we are paying so most of them said 'Oh don't even bother inviting me and a guest' They were cool flying solo.
I would just politely explain the situation. I am sure they will understand.
afrodyt2000
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Re: What do you say to friends who want to bring a guest?
Posted by NinaChris07
The people I am worried about are people who literally bring guests they hardly know, or might not even know until that day (or try to 'scrounge up' someone as I was just told). And, to me, that's kind of rude....
I agree with you.
betani
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Re: What do you say to friends who want to bring a guest?
most of my friends are in the same age range but most are taken. the only few who are not (about 3) are some of my best friends and are in the bridal party. although they'll know pretty much everyone, i think i'm gonna let them bring a guest if they ask since it's such a small number. as for everyone else i want to say no, but it'll probably be on a person to person basis and partly based on how many 'no's' i get.
2Be1
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Re: What do you say to friends who want to bring a guest?
FH and I are, by the grace of God paying for the wedding so in we are very adamant about this only making exceptions for fiancés, spouses or long term SO. I had this discussion with one of my BM who said to me so you are not going to let me bring a guest!?! I don’t even know why she had the nerve to ask me that because she was not even dating anyone at the time, still isn’t and probably won’t be dating anyone by the wedding either. I had another BM who got married in January and one of her guests asked if they could bring their adult daughter and teenaged grandson. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with people.
