it is true that when you get married you do also marry the family. you may not see your in-laws everyday but their are birthdays & holidays. so you will have to always be civil to each other.
my brother & his wife have three kids & we basically see them at least twice a week. its a little different because FH & i live downstairs from my parents so if they are over we see them. but if we didn't live there we would still all be together every Sunday for dinner. its also a little different because i work in the same office as FMIL so i see her 5 days a week for 8 hours a day.
so unless you plan on splitting up the holidays (where you go to your family & he goes to his family) you will be seeing each others family during the year.
MrsCM
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Re: What do you think about this statement?
I think ideally that's true, but unfortunately to some extent it's a package deal. His family isn't what's important but if you think his family won't impact your lives I think you may be in store for some unhappiness :( Maybe you guys can all talk. I took a class on marriage and the family and this came up A LOT
Mrs Z To Be
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Re: What do you think about this statement?
I agree, and disagree. I love FH's brother and his fiance. We are very close with them.
FFIL is ok. Nice enough, although sometimes he doesn't get it
FMIL- I'll leave it alone.
Because I was brought up to respect his parents regardless, I have a hard time being nasty, even when things are obviously done to me out of spite. However, I am not a spiteful person. I still make sure we go there for dinner a couple of times a month, to save face, but he is definitely marrying my family. Not so much the case with me.
soontobecruz
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Sorry I agree with the statement. My FFIL is crazy at times, yet I know he will be in my life for as long as we are both alive. My Fh is also incredibly close to my family and we spend the majority of holidays and such with them however, we try and balance things out too. FBIL and FSIL are close to FH and myself and I wouldn't want it anyother way. No they are not my brother or sister and i have my own father as well, but I love the thought of having them all together at our place for holiday's in the future. I do believe I am marrying thier family also, and like the vows say it's for better or worse.
Iluvpoodles
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Posted by seawedding
I think ideally that's true, but unfortunately to some extent it's a package deal. His family isn't what's important but if you think his family won't impact your lives I think you may be in store for some unhappiness :( Maybe you guys can all talk. I took a class on marriage and the family and this came up A LOT
No we have talked about it and I know the inlaws will be involved and such. We will be living in a different state from them though. I have no problem with doing the holidays and such but I mean like I will not be calling them mom or dad and to me they will kinda always be his family.
MarjorieFrank
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Re: What do you think about this statement?
I agree with the statement but not so much the way it is worded. While you are not marrying the family per se ie: you have absolutely no commitments to them, etc. you do have to deal with them for as long as you are with FH and try to be civil. With FH comes the family... unfortch.
MrsCM
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Posted by Iluvpoodles
Posted by seawedding
I think ideally that's true, but unfortunately to some extent it's a package deal. His family isn't what's important but if you think his family won't impact your lives I think you may be in store for some unhappiness :( Maybe you guys can all talk. I took a class on marriage and the family and this came up A LOT
No we have talked about it and I know the inlaws will be involved and such. We will be living in a different state from them though. I have no problem with doing the holidays and such but I mean like I will not be calling them mom or dad and to me they will kinda always be his family. That's just me though. I would rather not go into a whole thing of what happened but it left a bad taste in my mouth to say the least. My family has always accepted him as pretty much their son. Me I've been biting my tongue for a long time now..
If you're in a different state, you'll have an easier time I think. So long as you know they'll always have a presence in your lives
kris_gets_hitched
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Posted by MarjorieFrank
I agree with the statement but not so much the way it is worded. While you are not marrying the family per se ie: you have absolutely no commitments to them, etc. you do have to deal with them for as long as you are with FH and try to be civil. With FH comes the family... unfortch.
ITA And while I know my FH loves my whole family, there are things that irk him about them. Things between myself and his family (esp. FMIL) are constantly on a 'two steps forward, one step back' pattern. She says things like 'you're marrying into the family' and I sweetly say 'well, FH is marrying into mine too!' which I know makes her want to claw my eyes out...but hey, it's a two-way street!
stinenandy2010
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Re: What do you think about this statement?
I agree with the statement. While I might not be close with certain family members of FH's, it doesn't matter, they are his family and we do family functions with them.
AdriandSteve
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Re: What do you think about this statement?
Posted by seawedding
I think ideally that's true, but unfortunately to some extent it's a package deal. His family isn't what's important but if you think his family won't impact your lives I think you may be in store for some unhappiness :( Maybe you guys can all talk. I took a class on marriage and the family and this came up A LOT
ITA
Family will give there input on everything. ESP once kids come into the pic and everyone has different ideas on how to raise them.
drivwal
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I think that's true and wonderful I cannot wait to bring two different families from two different backgrounds together....I think that is sooo awesome!
MikesBride2B
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I agree in the sense that when you marry FH his family becomes yours and vice versa...but that doesn't mean that his family can walk all over me or that my family can walk all over him.
The family I am MOST concerned with is the family we will be building with each other. That family comes before any other family.
JenBill61210
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I think so... you may not have to deal with them all the time but they are still going to be in your life somewhat w/ holidays, etc.
Iluvpoodles
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Posted by MikesBride2B
The family I am MOST concerned with is the family we will be building with each other. That family comes before any other family.
Def. agree
KatieG2010
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100000% AGREE!!!
FutureMrsSoltan
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I agree with the statement. For me, I get along with my FIL so its not an issue. But its hard if you disagree with certain things and you are kinda stuck with them LOL
mrsdraskin2009
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I think its true. These are people who will be involved in your life. However, any type of unhealthy relationship should be nipped in the bud, family or not.
jlt2010
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Re: What do you think about this statement?
i definitely think it's true even though i don't completely agree with it. To some extent they become your family and you'd have to deal with every insane, retarded, cruel person like they were your family.
with that said, not every family has such characters. So it may not be a bad thing to 'marry the family'
