What do you think of this?..(UPDATED..NEW INFO!!!)
sweetdoublenn
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What do you think of this?..(UPDATED..NEW INFO!!!)
As you know of the problems with my Best Friend who is in my wedding in September. I wrote her explaining my feelings about the whole situation 2 weeks ago..I never got a response! So today is my brithday and she didn't even call me, no text, e-mail, nothing. She sends me a comment on Myspace saying Happy Birthday..meanwhile we have been friends for 18 years! In the past she always has called me in the morning before she goes to work since she is up before me. I got nothing..
I am un wanted friend! Why does she needs me. Apparantly it shows she doesn't care. My birthday is a personal day with nothing to do with my wedding! I can't believe I haven't heard from her. Boy, is she in for a shock after the wedding when I end our friendship..
What do you all think? It may seem petty, but I don't think you do something like this to a friend of 18 years!!!!
GinaBambina08
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Re: What do you think of this?
Posted by sweetdoublenn
As you know of the problems with my Best Friend who is in my wedding in September. I wrote her explaining my feelings about the whole situation 2 weeks ago..I never got a response! So today is my brithday and she didn't even call me, no text, e-mail, nothing. She sends me a comment on Myspace saying Happy Birthday..meanwhile we have been friends for 18 years! In the past she always has called me in the morning before she goes to work since she is up before me. I got nothing..
I am un wanted friend! Why does she needs me. Apparantly it shows she doesn't care. My birthday is a personal day with nothing to do with my wedding! I can't believe I haven't heard from her. Boy, is she in for a shock after the wedding when I end our friendship..
What do you all think? It may seem petty, but I don't think you do something like this to a friend of 18 years!!!!
Yes that's definitely odd...that seems like a clear message to me...unfortunately some friendships end just like relatioinships do...I know that must be so hard to deal with, i'm sorry!
futuremrsfab
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Re: What do you think of this?
i havent been on most of this week, so I think I missed what happened with your bm- sometimes people get wrapped up in their own lives and dont meant to hurt us- is it possible maybe something is going on with her? I would wait a couple days & maybe give her a call & chat about it- you guys have been friends for a long time, its a shame to let that go
PP424
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Re: What do you think of this?
I'm not really sure what happened 2 weeks ago with you and your friend. But as far as your birthday, give it the rest of the day, I know you say she usually calls you in the morning, but maybe something came up that she couldn't and hopefully she will call you later.
Either way, don't let this ruin your birthday. Deal with the emotions tomorrow and just enjoy your birthday.
JodyLC
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Re: What do you think of this?
It's very odd especially if it is routine for her to call... I would think something was up... You sure she is gonna show for the wedding?
Anyway...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sweetdoublenn
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Re: What do you think of this?
Well let's see if I can sum this up. There were fights about my bridal shower. They wanted to do one shower and everyone would chip in..she didn't plan on it..so because of her we had to do 2 showers...she tells me out of the blue she is dealing with some family health problems when I used to be the first one she call..she hasn't called me or saw me since Feb!! I wrote to her telling her I understand and I hope things get better. She refered me to as a 'good friend' so I was upset about that when we are supposed to be Best Friends...of 18 years!!! You would think right? She didn't respond to that, nor respond to the message I sent her about the BM dresses!! I told her I would give her her space. She told me she was suffering from depression which I think is horrible! But why would a depressed person go out with friends? Don't they not want to socialize with anyone?? She started fighting with my mom through e-mails and wrote her a disrespectful e-mail too. Mom asked her for $100 for the shower 2 weeks ago. She never responded so my mom thought she didn't want any part in it..she was venting to my grandma and my grandma stepped in to help..then I get an rsvp with the check..i don't get it...then she just sends me just a comment no picture!...whatever...she is not gonna ruin my day let alone my wedding!!
JodyLC
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Re: What do you think of this?
Hun something is NOT right with this situation.. Is there anyway to go to her house and just see her face to face?
sweetdoublenn
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Re: What do you think of this?
She lives an hr from me! I tried already to see her in person and she just doesn't want to. I told her we needed to have a serious talk and she just writes me an e-mail. I am so done with her and our friendship. I would love to kick her out of my wedding but then I would have to give her the $100 back for the deposit on the dress and be left with a balance..plus if she refuses I don't think my bridal place will release the rest of the dresses!
JodyLC
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Re: What do you think of this?
Let me quess no return on the dress..the place won't give a store credit anything that could be put on other stuff?? I'm sorry but I would have a hard time spending the best day of my life with someone like that. If i did I would have to keep my distance so i didn't snap.
sweetdoublenn
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Re: What do you think of this?
Hmmm..I don't know. The dress is already in!! So I doubt they would refund the money! I am gonna talk to FH about this. If they will refund her the money she's out! FH just wants to embarass her on our wedding day..she be the first out before any of the other BM's!!! And last standing up at the alter!!... We are evil!!!
PP424
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Re: What do you think of this?
I would call the place you ordered the BM dresses from, to find out what the procedure is if you need to drop someone form your BP. Also, is there anyone else you can ask instead. maybe you don't need to loose the money on the dress, just a thought.
But back to your friend, something does sound fishy and it really isn't something you need right now. Part of me thinks that maybe she is going through something, and if so they they tend to push the people closest to them away. But part of me thinks it's something else. It's really hard and it seems like you are really trying to get somewhere with her but she's fights you ever step of the way.
It's a hard call. It might be worth one last hour long trip to have a conversation face to face, but if she fights you on that, I would walk away from it cause she really doesn't sound like a 'good' friend anymore.
sweetdoublenn
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Re: What do you think of this?
Posted by PP424
I would call the place you ordered the BM dresses from, to find out what the procedure is if you need to drop someone form your BP. Also, is there anyone else you can ask instead. maybe you don't need to loose the money on the dress, just a thought.
But back to your friend, something does sound fishy and it really isn't something you need right now. Part of me thinks that maybe she is going through something, and if so they they tend to push the people closest to them away. But part of me thinks it's something else. It's really hard and it seems like you are really trying to get somewhere with her but she's fights you ever step of the way.
It's a hard call. It might be worth one last hour long trip to have a conversation face to face, but if she fights you on that, I would walk away from it cause she really doesn't sound like a 'good' friend anymore.
That's the thing...I offered to meet her and she shrugged it off!!! I don't know anymore..I wish none of this was happening. Everything else has been fine with the planning of my wedding..it's been all about her and the shower that has been the most stressful!
JodyLC
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Re: What do you think of this?
Posted by sweetdoublenn
Hmmm..I don't know. The dress is already in!! So I doubt they would refund the money! I am gonna talk to FH about this. If they will refund her the money she's out! FH just wants to embarass her on our wedding day..she be the first out before any of the other BM's!!! And last standing up at the alter!!... We are evil!!!
Oh i would be EVIL also if i was stuck with her!!!! for EVIL
sweetdoublenn
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Re: What do you think of this?
I know you would!!!!....btw, she never did call me to wish me a Happy Birthday!..Everyone else did but her...so I got my answer there! I can't kick her out due to the dress...and i would be resposible for the balance!!...Umm..no..I'll deal with it and then let her have it after my wedding..let her go on and on thinking everything is peachy and then hit her with a bombshell!!
sweetdoublenn
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Re: What do you think of this?..(UPDATED..NEW INFO!!!)
New info on this!!!
sweetdoublenn
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Re: What do you think of this?..(UPDATED..NEW INFO!!!)
As of now...here is the new info!!!
.....okay so I contacted the owner of the Bridal place and he told me she would forfeit her$100, and I would not be responsible for the dress!..so now her fate relys in my hands! I have the power to kick her out! I have the authortiy!!! Not to mention over the weekand my mom got another e-mail from her..and she forwarded the e-mail to me too! She is claiming someone wrote her nasty after nasty e-mail! I have seen them all!! None of them were nasty! I have the latest and greatest e-mail from her that I am thinking of posting to let you all see what I am dealing with!!
So do you all think I should write her to find out the real reason? Or just write her to tell her you're..OUT!!!!
PP424
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Re: What do you think of this?..(UPDATED..NEW INFO!!!)
If you write her to find out, do you think she'd write you back? The reason I'm asking is you might be better off not writing her and just telling her you are taking her out of the bridal party. And maybe with no explanation. Maybe that will get her curious to why and that is how you can bring it up. Like say that you've been trying to work things out with the two of you, but it just seems one way. And maybe she'll finally confined in you what is going on. But if she actually just replies 'Okay' to you taking her out of the bridal party, then she really isn't worth the time to figure out why. It may hurt you more and right now you should be surrounding by people who are happy for you and you FH and should be enjoy every minute that leads up to your wedding. I hope this helps somewhat. I know it's hard when it's a close friend.
sweetdoublenn
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Re: What do you think of this?..(UPDATED..NEW INFO!!!)
Posted by PP424
If you write her to find out, do you think she'd write you back? The reason I'm asking is you might be better off not writing her and just telling her you are taking her out of the bridal party. And maybe with no explanation. Maybe that will get her curious to why and that is how you can bring it up. Like say that you've been trying to work things out with the two of you, but it just seems one way. And maybe she'll finally confined in you what is going on. But if she actually just replies 'Okay' to you taking her out of the bridal party, then she really isn't worth the time to figure out why. It may hurt you more and right now you should be surrounding by people who are happy for you and you FH and should be enjoy every minute that leads up to your wedding. I hope this helps somewhat. I know it's hard when it's a close friend.
You are absolutely right!!!! My mom wants me to make sure I really want to do this..and she was the one that got the nasty e-mail!!!! It will mean the end of the friendship...there is no friendship..It's been 5 months! how can she want to be in a wedding and she doesn't even talk to the bride??? I am gonna make my decision at the end of the day!!
sweetdoublenn
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Re: What do you think of this?..(UPDATED..NEW INFO!!!)
Well my mom just called me at work and she told me she spoke with my father and told him what I want to do..he thought it was a good idea! How can she have her in her wedding when she doesn't even talk to the bride since Feb?
I can't wait to write this e-mail!!!
PP424
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Re: What do you think of this?..(UPDATED..NEW INFO!!!)
I know it's going to be really hard for you, but seriously if she was a good friend, she wouldn't be pushing herself so far away from you especially when you are going through such an amazing part of your life, this should be bringing you closer not further apart. In the end it's for the best, but I know it's not easy.
