What factors did you consider when deciding to TTC?

MrsTC Posted: Oct 10, 2003 10:06 AM

What factors did you consider when deciding to TTC?

I have been thinking - and this is for the future, not now -

but what were the Major factors?

money?
stay at home mom or working mom?
location (house /apt)

sept20yay Posted: Oct 10, 2003 10:27 AM

Re: What factors did you consider when deciding to TTC?

I know for us we are looking at a few factors that need to be in place before we TTC.

One would be money- we figure we need to have a certain minimun in the bank before we could think about kids.
Another is husband's career. Believe it or not, things would need to slow down at work so that he could be home with his kid at 6-7 at night. Not pulling late nights in the office to 'get ahead'.
Another would be our maturity level. At 25 and 28, I feel like another 5 years would turn use into better more prepared parents. Plus, I get to see how my friends mess up with their kids and learn from their mistakes.

jeng Posted: Oct 10, 2003 11:17 AM

Re: What factors did you consider when deciding to TTC?

The major concerns were that we had savings in the bank, although I don't think there ever is enough money.
Our level of maturity, and if we were ready for our lives to change and take on more responsibility.
Our age too, we're both 30 this year and want to have at least 2 children.

We are also planning on moving in the next few years. I would like to take advantage of the sick time I've accumulated at my current job before leaving.

I think the major thing is/was being ready for the lifestyle change.

Great question!

kmcwed Posted: Oct 10, 2003 12:04 PM

Re: What factors did you consider when deciding to TTC?

The factor I'm considering the most is my ready-ness for the huge sacrifice that comes along with having a child. It's basically a 20+ year responsibility that involves putting your own needs and desires to the side and putting your childs needs first. Your time really is not your own after baby comes. Every decision you make from that point out, you have to take the well being of the baby (or child) into consideration first.

ETS: If you've already done a lot of care-taking in your life (as I have), you think very hard about taking on another situation like that. Especially if you feel like your only starting to live your own life now. The thought of tying yourself down again is a definite conflict with the thought of having a child. It's difficult to feel that way.

karen32 Posted: Oct 10, 2003 12:41 PM

Re: What factors did you consider when deciding to TTC?

for us, the biggest factor that we need to work through is my career. i make a substantial amount more than FI, but with that comes 70-80 hour work weeks and sometimes frequent travel. not very good with a child. if i was to quit, we would have a major lifestyle change. i could do flex-time, but there is a woman doing that right now, and it is not going over too well. it's hard to only work 9-5 three days a week when you are in client service - it's really a 24/7 job.

our other issue would be our living arrangements. right now we are in a 2 bedroom condo which is fine for us, but with a child would be a struggle - our extra bedroom is FI's home office so to move all of that stuff into the other bedroom wouldn't work. i would like to see us in a bigger house before we TTC.

i would like to try within a year or two of the wedding, as i am already 30 and feel that time is not necessarily on my side.

i don't think there is ever a 'perfect' time - i think it is deciding what your priorities are, and moving towards them.

jennbaby Posted: Oct 10, 2003 01:17 PM

Re: What factors did you consider when deciding to TTC?

Our love for each other & our great want of children.

Everything else is up to God. There can never be enough money, there will never be the 'perfect' time etc
JMO

shamma Posted: Oct 10, 2003 01:26 PM

Re: What factors did you consider when deciding to TTC?

For me it was money, and time and the place, for hubby it was he is ready. We sat down and spoke about it and like Jen said above, there is never the perfect time. In my heart I am more ready now than I was a year ago even tho I still get those are you sure moments.

MrsTC Posted: Oct 10, 2003 02:09 PM

Re: What factors did you consider when deciding to TTC?

thanks everyone

we of course are considering our finances, living space, etc....

but I do agree with Jen and Shamma....when it's right, it's right and somehow you make it work!

Sassyz75 Posted: Oct 10, 2003 02:11 PM

Re: What factors did you consider when deciding to TTC?

Although we are not TTC yet our factors are:

1) have we done what we've wanted to do as a couple? We didn't live together before we got married, so we really want to enjoy our 'newlywed' time before we are distracted from eachother. We need to make sure we know how to relate to eachother without related to eachother through a baby. I know WAY too many couples that get divorced after their babies are all grown up. Maybe it's because they can't relate to eachother without the buffer of a baby? I don't know.

2) Money. We want to be out of debt or as close to out of debt as possible.

I think the job and the apartment- that will all figure itself out.

MarcellaBella Posted: Oct 10, 2003 02:12 PM

Re: What factors did you consider when deciding to TTC?

Posted by jennbaby

Our love for each other & our great want of children.

Everything else is up to God. There can never be enough money, there will never be the 'perfect' time etc
JMO

AMEN sista!!

Kathi Posted: Oct 10, 2003 05:42 PM

Re: What factors did you consider when deciding to TTC?

My age.
My age.
My age.

Misty Posted: Oct 10, 2003 05:51 PM

Re: What factors did you consider when deciding to TTC?

Posted by jennbaby

Our love for each other & our great want of children.

Everything else is up to God. There can never be enough money, there will never be the 'perfect' time etc
JMO

Amen x 2!!!!!!!!!!!!! Beautifully put.

jlf41 Posted: Oct 10, 2003 08:36 PM

Re: What factors did you consider when deciding to TTC?

For us, it was totally a practical decision based on my work/school schedule. We both knew we wanted children and neither really wanted to wait until I finished my residency to start trying for the first (4 years from now, age 34 by then). Being pregnant during residency just didn't seem feasible to me in terms of having any time to take off after the baby was born. We decided to try now in the hopes that I could take this next year off from medical school to stay home with the baby and then start back up as a resident once the baby is a little older. In the career I envision for myself, I don't ever imagine being able to take a year off ever again, so this was a gift to myself and the baby really. We will definetely never have enough money, so that was not even an issue!

DaniRN Posted: Oct 10, 2003 08:43 PM

Re: What factors did you consider when deciding to TTC?

Posted by jennbaby

Our love for each other & our great want of children.

Everything else is up to God. There can never be enough money, there will never be the 'perfect' time etc
JMO

I also couldn't agree more!

Diane Posted: Oct 10, 2003 09:21 PM

Re: What factors did you consider when deciding to TTC?

I agree with Jennbaby too.
We are just ready now, and will make sacrifices for the love of our child.

chmlengr Posted: Oct 10, 2003 10:10 PM

Re: What factors did you consider when deciding to TTC?

For us it was purely it being a matter that we were ready to accept the responsibilty that comes with it.

The house, the money, etc. are of course important, however, we realized awhile ago that we weren't getting any younger, and so I think that also played a big part...

MichelleW Posted: Oct 10, 2003 10:16 PM

Re: What factors did you consider when deciding to TTC?

What Jennbaby said is soo true. For me personally it is more like 'beat the clock' I will be 40 in less than a month and don't relish the thought of being a kindergarten class mother at 45. However I will be thankful to carry a child to term no matter what age I am

JennRenee Posted: Oct 10, 2003 11:09 PM

Re: What factors did you consider when deciding to TTC?

Michelle, the VAST majority of the moms I have dealt with in my kindergarten classes have been in the 40-45 year old range... you'll be in excellent company!

kmcwed Posted: Oct 12, 2003 03:19 PM

Re: What factors did you consider when deciding to TTC?

JennRenee, that's so good to know. Thanks for sharing that. There are a lot of us 'older' newlyweds on here that feel like we're playing 'Beat the Clock,' not just because we're afraid of infertility as we get older, but because we don't want to be 'OLD moms.'

The Original 2nd-time-around Posted: Oct 12, 2003 03:27 PM

Re: What factors did you consider when deciding to TTC?

I completely agree with what Jennbaby said.

The 'time' is never perfect. You will always want to have more $$, a bigger house and to have been able to travel more.

When it happens, everything works out no matter what your situation.